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The red plane was back,
Sweeping low over the trees
To avoid radar detection,
Then banking steeply
Away to the right
Into the adjoining field
At the back it's my house.
I could run
In those days -
Perhaps that was it.
I was the only one
To actually stand
In the rainbow,
When the others arrived
The DDT was already falling
In a fine mist,
Like that summer rain
That soaks you
Through in minutes.
Then again it could
Have been any of
The other chemicals
I breathed in,
Ate and drank
Over the ensuing years.
I don't think there is any need
For an autopsy.
People are stealing poetry books
To cut up
To use as toilet paper.
The cotton wool clouds
Glued at random
In a giant blue
Colouring book
Are real
And cause me to breathe
Deeply for the first
Time today.
The greenwood
With it's shadows
That question the rights
Of leaves to answer
And flowers, freshly
Painted this morning
By the supreme artist
Who begs us to, who
Dares us not to
Notice them
And the seed,
Airborne at last
Parachuting into
My hand
Are all real,
But I am not.
The ballerina in a
Dying piruette
Signals the end
Of her show,
Black putrid, billowing
Twisting and devious
As any smoke engaged
In this work
Must go.

But those who
Would not remain
Are as loathed to
Turn around
As were their bullets
Reluctant to maime
Or ****,
Afraid of breaking
The spell
And being dragged back
Into screaming hell
Instead of gently
Led away through
The buttercups on the
Side of the hill.

A solitary line
Of shuffling feet
Retreating bodies,
Some ghosts
Belatedly anointed
By fine summer rain
Coming too late
To dampen the pain,
Inside the bullet burns
And intermingled
With cries, birdsong returns
Conjuring up
Farmyard smells
Capturing boyhood laughter,
A cosy bedroom
Like a stabbing
In the side
Starts the tears again,
So soon
As when my gallant
Friends and I
With unbeknown
Sadness, rode out
One sunny afternoon
Down to the fields
Of shame
And straight into
Certain madness.
My battery is low
I'm a flickering light
A faint glow
Staying on for you.
In an age of twilight
You lie outstretched before me
The line of your shore,
Your naked beauty
Clothed at last
In my reverence.

For I am powerless to move
Away from the rapids
On to the quiet platform
Where my soul
Longs to rest,
Until your tears
Too long bitter
And salty
Become a stream,
A river
An ocean of love.
Today He is at your side
Looking after you
In my stead
As He did before me
And will again
When I am gone
And I'm not afraid
If I can feel
This way about you
After the short time
We shared
How much greater
Will His love be
Seeing you as
He does
With your capacity
For infinite love?
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