I wanted to tell you
that it is my fault

I really wanted to tell you
but kept it in vault

those times you got high
hiding within you  
while mum and dad argued  
I saw you but kept quite

I should have led you
any where but home
but I could not

we were both young
now it is too late
your an addict and I am
destroyed by guilt

I get it
you told it
they know it
I accept it
don't deny it

tell me a thousand times
this one word
I only want to hear

it is quite funny
or am I being quirky
but it seems the world
it turning backwards
I am thinking of
bending on my knees
just to thank all the cleaners
out there

you asked me to tell you
reasons why I love you
I replied I can not,
but I do hope you look
deep in eyes and see my
soul longing for you

Wait, you said
so I waited 30 years
even though I see your
children grown into adults

feeling your breath on my skin
bring tingling shivers down my spine
I'm holding my breathe hoping this
lasts forever

there is nothing new
every seconds past
is recycled for the future

I looked across the road, I saw this girl
And I thought she’s wearing weird clothes  
He is be side  me also stared  
He thought she is pretty

The old man beside me saw her too
And wondered what his daughter is doing right now
The little girl standing besides
  sees her and said, she looks sad.

Some days you feel lucky and blessed
Other days confused and depressed
And then there this certain days you are totally lost
Whether is it worth it or not
Everything else is meaningless

It is those days I question life itself
am I  benefiting?
What is the purpose?
What is my role?
When it stops, does it even matter?
Is it going towards a certain goal?

To be fair, those days do not come so often
On normal days, miracles you see
You feel love, joy, sadness and peace
You wonder upon simple creations
And you are content
But it’s those certain days that…

running out of words to pen
fingers itching to type
but words refuses fuse

living to die
surviving to live
nothing is safe
there's always
something greyish
somewhere

I heard you today
I see you day by day
I smell your odor
each passing day
I feel your touch
mostly by Day
and I choose to
ignore because
because I want to
be normal.

if falling in love is easy
I would have been married
when I am a six

Kobe your dead
reminds me of Diana's
not because you both
are solely missed by
the world

but because  you both
have more to give
but had gone too soon

i tell  you
how i feel
to really define
it step by step

i hold your hand
and show you
how it will be
you and me

i kiss your lips  
to let you know
how i taste

i let you go
then you will
never know

56 years you knew the world
half a century to be her friend
she gave you love and joy
with laughter and sadness

as the days swiftly passes by
you become tired and slow
she patiently follow your pace

until one day she came along
but you are no longer here
she silently knew and mourns
for you, like her other friends
she also lost along the way