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53 · Jun 2020
Sins Exposed
Acme Jun 2020
What beautiful madness is discovered
  cleaning up after the dreadful dead?
  The living feast on sin's delicious
  offerings but we don't hide our sins
  because we always expect one more day.
  Loved ones hide our failings in hearts.
53 · Jan 2020
Confessional
Acme Jan 2020
A magic box where all of your
ugliness and cruelty are forgiven
when you recite the sin list to
your priest and perform penance.
The guilt still lives in shadows
of the heart shaking foundations.
53 · Apr 2020
Happy Birthday
Acme Apr 2020
Life's a tragedy wrapped as presents
    we take for granted like birthday cake.
    Years tick by and we blow out bigger fires.
    We know death happens, just not to us.
53 · Sep 2020
Pain
Acme Sep 2020
What am I?
You can't fix it,
can't make them forget it.
You can't take it away from them.
You can only treat it with respect.
It's peoples' pain and they own it.
53 · Apr 2020
Broken Clocks
Acme Apr 2020
If it sounds insane it's true.
   The shark is in the goldfish bowl.
   Killers swarm our picnic field and
   **** the enemy where we had lunch
   a year ago and ****** marriage vows
   and promised 'til death parted us.
   Today we're on a rail car to a camp.
53 · May 2020
Bloom of Blood
Acme May 2020
It's a beauty of a red rose.
  It's a watercolor on a bed sheet
  petals bloom from his wound.
  She'd had it and found a gun
  and courage and anger enough
  to put him out of her misery.
53 · May 2020
beating heart
Acme May 2020
I **** and call it love.
    I love and call it *******.
    What can my ***** tell me
    of feeling love in my heart?
    I step over the dead still
    looking for a beating heart.
53 · Feb 2020
Photo Booth
Acme Feb 2020
In some long ago mall in a photo booth
we left proof of undying love you kiss
my cheek and I smile happier than ever.
I have it in my wallet 30 years later.
I write these lines looking at young lovers
who've forgotten how to really love.
53 · Jun 2020
Date Night
Acme Jun 2020
She wears her red high heels.
   Dance, your hands love that woman,
   always swaying to her siren song.
   Go home at dawn and climb in bed
   with the owner of your heart and
   hold her flesh and blood to you.
Date night is the glue that keeps it all together.
53 · Aug 2020
Poetry's Funeral
Acme Aug 2020
What was poetry for?
Did it change the world?
Will it stop her from leaving?
Poetry seems less and less as
new decades invade our dying days.
I might as well recite ABC's.
52 · Aug 2020
Bar Poets
Acme Aug 2020
Lets have beers and shots and
share metaphors and broke hearts
and write poems to bring tears and
laughter and bury the dead finally.
Barkeep, bring us similes and drinks
to keep this wild madness alive.
We'll dedicate one to suffering wives
and suffering children and ourselves.
There's always something for us.
Poems cease at last call with periods.
52 · Apr 2020
Old
Acme Apr 2020
Old
I'm around the bend
and up the creek. My
skin is parchment and
my eyes are cloudy and
ears full of lies.
I'm not fragile.
I don't shrink from
the crisis created by
Goldfinger. I'm
Bond. James Bond.
Follow me to my
happy ending.
52 · Aug 2020
Catatonic
Acme Aug 2020
I hate myself for wanting you.
Wrong is such an aphrodisiac.
The price is steep but brass rings
are in reach once in lifetimes and
your beauty leaves me no choice.
The deed will leave me catatonic.
52 · Jun 2020
Photo Booth
Acme Jun 2020
That time way back in the photo booth
when you kissed my cheek in love and
I was grinning like a man in love and
I keep it near and that's who we are.
We fall apart and fall in love over again.
We are different. We are the same.
I'll die with you in that photo booth
kissing me as my only lover ever.
52 · Feb 2020
W. H. Auden
Acme Feb 2020
I know his old face from photos.
Crevasses and dried memories and
ancient women cracked smiles and
prunes and peach pits and the most
magnificent poet of his and my day.
He is dead yet alive on my pages.
We live in his age of anxiety so
little read but known in the gut.
52 · Sep 2020
Red Door Church
Acme Sep 2020
I lost faith in my religion and wander.
      Who can forgive my sins? Who can cast my
      demons from me? Who can bless me at death?
      Can I never be buried in sacred ground?

      Now my faith is in pills and ***** and soft
      places with perfume and happy endings.
      My church is a bar with a pastor named Tia.
      She speaks in tongues with a snake that bites.

      Her venom is the sweetest thing I've tasted.
      She brings me to my knees and I bow to her.
      I drink her blood and eat her in communion.
      I wake calm with my savior. I found my faith.
52 · Aug 2020
Cursed Mirror
Acme Aug 2020
I live inside a mirror today
where everything's reflection.
Kiss my shadow's shadow.
Break my heart. It shimmers
in  puddles wrinkled in wind.
You only break a looking glass
and suffer 7 years bad luck.
I curse you with all my love.
52 · May 2020
Buried Together
Acme May 2020
You're my 4th wife but
I'm dead now and your
in the plot next to me.
We loved hard at the start
and lived flaccid after.
I broke all the hearts.
52 · May 2020
I Die Alone
Acme May 2020
I've traveled on this grey ribbon
since I was born looking for my destiny
following my heart and biology to God
knows where. We're beasts we don't know
with desire we fear and love we need.
The herd moves on. I die alone in night.
52 · Dec 2020
Sex at 15
Acme Dec 2020
We were in a riptide
  catching our breaths.
  15 and nobody home we
  jumped off sin's steep cliff
  and practiced 'til it was right.
  I fell in love. You loved *******.
52 · Sep 2020
Objects
Acme Sep 2020
A cup I fill with coffee in the morning
  or with wine in the afternoon til' sleep.
  A needle she fills with magic potions
  that make her many ghosts for pleasures.
  A razor that calls like sirens from rocky
  shores to slash a vein and join her chorus.
Acme Apr 2020
You can see heaven from hell.
   A fetching ***** beckoning but
   just beyond your chain's reach.
It's such a lovely piece of meat.
Love is seeing but not touching.
It's what we'd die for but never find.
51 · Aug 2020
Peanut Brittle
Acme Aug 2020
It's so good but wreaks havoc
on my tongue. Like a lover
who breaks my back and tears
my life to pieces with kids who
are orphans from Dickens's
world. Chess pieces after all.
Vaginas are peanut brittle.
51 · Oct 2020
Pills
Acme Oct 2020
Pills make me happy when I'm sad, and tired
  so I can sleep, and wide awake in mornings.
  Pills help me when anxiety steals my breath.
  Pills  save me from a cuckoo's nest lobotomy.
  Pills make me feel normal like the rest of you.
  Pills let me feel lust on our special date night.
51 · Feb 2020
Night, Snow, Woods
Acme Feb 2020
Quiet and alone snow crunches
  with my steps. I'm coming home.
  You wait. The fire in our bed.
  I'd go to the ends of the earth.
50 · Apr 2020
Bukowski Paid my Tab
Acme Apr 2020
There we were sitting on bar stools
side by side and talking about women
and the way they smell. Some earthy and
some flowers and some like stale *****.
We told sick jokes and remembered good
old days when men were fierce and girls
were gentle and tamed their beasts.
We parted. He paid my tab. Yellow teeth.
I remember his laugh. It was sincere.
I stumbled out drunk but he walked sober.
50 · Feb 2020
Photos
Acme Feb 2020
A picture from a thousand kisses ago.
We were so in love full of desire we
knew would last forever. We are always.
Until we weren't. What broke besides
our hearts? We never understood. We
just blamed boredom and each other.

A picture from a million kisses ago.
Older and wiser we still broke our
bed and didn't miss a beat. We were.
Then one day we found others to break
more beds and lost sight of love. ****
was what we did. Until we didn't bother.

A picture of me on my 90th. Wrinkled
and alone in assisted living with a
cupcake and candle and little cardboard
birthday hat aching for youth and
beaches and bars and old lovers again
young to break more ******* beds.
Oh what I wouldn't give. Hold onto love for the treasure it is.
50 · Mar 2020
Spoiled Brats
Acme Mar 2020
Maybe I'm just a little tired.
A nap might help.
My life seems like it's over.
I don't want to fly kites or blow bubbles
like the kid I was a century ago.
All that's left is the coroner's signature.
You kids carry on and do us prouder
than we did for the greatest generation.
My generation, baby boomers, was a disgrace in my opinion. We left the world worse than we'd inherited.
50 · Nov 2020
I'm Terrible as a Sinner
Acme Nov 2020
I lie like a five year old. I'm 71.
     I'm like the freaking beacon of truth.
     I can't eat anything that died in pain.
     When I **** we both lie dead and squirm.
     Never cheat at war or tax returns. Always
     pay parking tickets and buy tags for pets.
50 · Feb 2020
City Lights
Acme Feb 2020
I wander at 3 am in the city.
I don't sleep anymore.
I feel society's fingers on
my throat choking me silent.
I want to tell the world
about my little life that
means so much to me and
about my generation sitting
on a hill looking down on
the city lights. We howl
so anyone still listening
will know the pack waits.
50 · Mar 2020
Broken
Acme Mar 2020
Written by BJ Donovan

We bought a broken dog
and took him to our broken home
to live with this broken family.
We tried to fix him with broken
training. I was too broken to get
it right. The more I yelled the more
broke we got. I had a drunken insight
one evening walking him in a full moon.
He reminded me of me in my childhood.
I saw things through our broken eyes
and held him close. I promised I'd fix us.
He saved us both from broken lives.
50 · Mar 2020
China Doll
Acme Mar 2020
I have to hold you by your edges
    careful not to smear your makeup,
    not to muss your hair, ruin lipstick.
    You are my porcelain china doll.
    I'm your curator. Look but don't touch.
    I'll keep you perfect forever.
49 · Jan 2020
Poetry Group
Acme Jan 2020
We'll gather in the backroom of a bar bringing 5 of our proudest poems/children and present them to the group of poets for brutal  yet gentle honesty. Adult beverages are available for the courage to throw our souls on the threshing floor.
49 · Jul 2020
Stories
Acme Jul 2020
We all have bunches of stories that
define us. We tell them in our cups
when truth comes easy forgotten in
morning. I stand naked for a moment.
49 · Jan 2020
Poem by Charles Bukowski
Acme Jan 2020
Poetry Readings

poetry readings have to be some of the saddest
****** things ever,
the gathering of the clansmen and clanladies,
week after week, month after month, year
after year,
getting old together,
reading on to tiny gatherings,
still hoping their genius will be
discovered,
making tapes together, discs together,
sweating for applause
they read basically to and for
each other,
they can't find a New York publisher
or one
within miles,
but they read on and on
in the poetry holes of America,
never daunted,
never considering the possibility that
their talent might be
thin, almost invisible,
they read on and on
before their mothers, their sisters, their husbands,
their wives, their friends, the other poets
and the handful of idiots who have wandered
in
from nowhere.

I am ashamed for them,
I am ashamed that they have to bolster each other,
I am ashamed for their lisping egos,
their lack of guts.

if these are our creators,
please, please give me something else:

a drunken plumber at a bowling alley,
a prelim boy in a four rounder,
a **** guiding his horse through along the
rail,
a bartender on last call,
a waitress pouring me a coffee,
a drunk sleeping in a deserted doorway,
a dog munching a dry bone,
an elephant's **** in a circus tent,
a 6 p.m. freeway crush,
the mailman telling a ***** joke

anything
anything
but
these.
49 · Jun 2020
Dangerous
Acme Jun 2020
Drunk and trying to write coherent
I'm on a high wire bicycle juggling
as you all stare open mouthed just
waiting for the horrible ending.
I'll still be in our bed tomorrow.
For better or worse we promised.
49 · May 2020
Jayne and Bailey
Acme May 2020
Don't make me the enemy
in your war with yourself.
Let her chase her love without
our doubts and fears. Shake in
your winds together and build
castles of your own in your skies.
Acme May 2020
I still remember your naked *******
   and the smell of my hand in your jeans
   and youth's innocence lost. You were old
   beyond your years. You tamed my beast.
You wanted me to be your first.
I was lost to you in the sunlight.
49 · Feb 2020
Kevin
Acme Feb 2020
My brother who let me climb
upon his back to save myself.
It's a debt I can never repay.
If you needed a liver I'd give
you mine but you'd not want it
knowing I needed yours anyway.
48 · Apr 2020
Summer Grass
Acme Apr 2020
The world keeps spinning
   against my will. I stop time
   in my secret world and live
   barefoot in summer grass.
   I build dams in the creek
   and play with crawdads and
   steal change for candy and
   army men from Rathman's.

   Mom never really got me.
   I lived her script when
   I had to. Boy trapped.
   I smell summer's grass.
   I live in a hospice bed  
   and smile big morphine
   grins as my boy trapped
   dies in the summer grass.
Hospice morphine dreams.
48 · Jul 2020
Fall like the Rain
Acme Jul 2020
Angry eyed angels carried my life
to its proper end among fomenting
graves frowning as they will do.
Will my soul be found or forgotten?
We walk miles in God's weather to
promises we never find alive.
48 · Jul 2020
Cliches
Acme Jul 2020
I'm a forgone conclusion
    and an empty promise.
    My words fail to inspire.
    My loves are always lost.
    Trouble always finds me.
    Read between the lines and
    find the real me with you
    inside my heart on my sleeve.
48 · May 2020
Gloucester, MA 1984
Acme May 2020
Seagulls crying over who knows what
   riding ocean breezes we'd all die for.
   We fight drunk in our room, a prelude
   to ******* on the sheets with anchors.
   I hear the 9th symphony when we mend.
   We lie as one and hear seagulls laugh.
48 · Apr 2020
Celibate Marriage
Acme Apr 2020
Ice cubes ring like church bells in my drink.
     I smell incense like the altar boy I was.
     I drink Christ's Chardonnay blood from a chalice.
    
     Celibacy is much easier than sexually complex
     relationships with jealousy and doubt and *******
     measuring the success or failure of a marriage.
48 · Oct 2020
Spectrum
Acme Oct 2020
I bring you invisible to the party to
   meet my friends on an autism spectrum.
   They drink every third beer and **** on
   the hour. They avoid eye contact and guess
   your IQ and love your smell and fear you.
   They like us. They invite us to come again.
48 · Aug 2020
Deer Hunter
Acme Aug 2020
I dress invisible and tiptoe to my spot
where I wait quiet with a rifle ready
to **** a deer. I look for my manhood
in death's dominance, a deer in my truck.
I drink a six pack. Country music plays.
In bed we ****. I cry quiet for the deer.
48 · Jun 2020
Desert Island
Acme Jun 2020
I'm all alone stranded here
without a prayer.
My boat broke on the rocks
and I eat sushi and coconuts.
I'm alone in paradise
which is a hell of its own.
48 · Jan 2020
Dropping Acid
Acme Jan 2020
I see a stone a leaf and a door. I knock.
  It opens and I float into clouds that make
  me step gently. I want to kiss everyone I
  have ever known except my wife. Yoko is
  in my mind beckoning. I belong to her now.
47 · Apr 2020
Conflicted
Acme Apr 2020
We're all conflicted between
   this and that, him and her,
   us and them, live or die,
   soul or soulless, I don't know.
47 · Jan 2020
Catholic PTSD
Acme Jan 2020
At war with my soul for years
  since I was an innocent child.
  Born with original sin, never
  had a chance with a stacked deck.

  Seven deadly sins my enemy.
  After puberty under constant
  barrage of heavy artillery.
  Pleasure can't breach ramparts!

  Maps useless, terrain unrecognized,
  Holy water torrents destroy minds,
  drive men insane with guilt.
  We crawl to confession seeking

  a place in line to heaven.  All
  we see is the horror of this war
  waged against us in our innocence.
  We can never forgive ourselves.

  We find salvation in ******, beer,
  cigarettes, Xanax, coke, ******.
  Numb our conscience until we wake.
  Take it from the top one more time.
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