**** back
You was in difficult position
I failed to release you from the prison
Sometimes i still feel like you never gained an inch
Its so insane how the one you love can put you on the bench
So far you in the stands not even on sideline
I tried to show u my true self but it felt like a sideline
Beside character of us other wise we would of been quit
So tired of the tension and the un-reasoned ***** fits
I know too well its my fault
Just wish it didn't happen
All the pain that i caused got me feeling like i'm acting out a movie
Not to mention how our setting was a power play
Worse to see it all sadly fall
But i still wish it wont fade away
Proposal this a bad time
Now i feel like my sear presence is a crime
Gotta string to our hearts if it snaps our hearts break
Every day we walk on egg shells wondering what it take
All this complicated wording makes the new us feel fake
I know its just one relationship but it feels like the worlds at steak
I know that the past is what made you hate me
I know that the last was a make or break me
Sadly i don't know what the true result is
It All falls down tell me who's the fault is
In between real life still in between a dream
Its like a movie in real life and we paint every scene
So much drama so much pressure
Barely try to come together
Thru the storm and all whatever
If i jumped off the boat back then would it be clever
Cuz i never would of meet you followed on the pain
All the problems from my past that just mar on my name
Its so insecure please don't make a minister
I know my sins so sinister
I listen to the listeners
No listen sir
I see now that i had to live even if just to make this
Because without here i wouldn't be here writing slick
All the talents and the dreams would be deep in obeys
And the glory that's foreseen would of been dismissed
These just the ordinary facts
That aren't so ordinary fact
Adjust the way i make attack
So don't hurt her thru my acts

This christmas
This christmas
This christmas
Christmas feel real
This christmas
This christmas
This christmas feel too real
look
This christmas 15 of my friends got shot down
Its crazy i be scared thinking what's around the block now
Is he packing large fat or is it just a glock
Go to school frustrated i don't trust the cops
But they gotta be here incase of a lockdown
Me my pears dream rich cruising with the top down

Man this year been hell over 50 ****** capped
Summer time banging got um dropping back to back
**** my 2018 but the 19 finna flex
Skip all the nobodys hitting me wit text
Its time to leave the past past focus on the next
Time to cop some new swag last year was a reck
Yeah yeah **** got me hella upset
Yeah yeah this last year was a trainwreck
found some lose cards but they didn't make a deck
I had a ***** but she wasn’t down like the rest
****!!!!!

i wanna restart
list the things that’s pulling my heart
callout all the ****** hating on my art
swag so new it dont even have a start
Got a clean cut but i need a couple parts

broken in emotion
lost deep in the ocean
searching for the potion
to conceal the comotion
can't describe
so i hide
real deep inside

push love far aside
and say it's just my pride
heart says otherwise
but head hacks all replys
lies the answers otherwise
truth can not deny
crying me a sea
i drown in you see
but you don't like me
so you turn back and to flee
can i
will
could i
****
would you
feel
if you
real
depressed
stressed
but wit you i'm obsessed


yet never caressed
can you hold me right
Super over more than tight
thru the night
I still feel by myself
i lie i need someone else
i put the real on the shelf
only reveal to mr self
WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­
i wanna cry
if i'm honest one more i'll die
cant explan why
i need the high
so emotions can subside
ultimatum will arise
am i’m blaming myself
for needing somebody else
i use to go it alone
with the drugs i was stone
call me crazy i'll foam
idk
i wish i did
i feel like kid
cant play it big
i try and dig to find the ore
for my ship
i hate grinding
i hate shining
and really rhyming
i'm declining
on incline
i guess i'm on rewind
wanna be this but i hate doing that
but i need this for that
to get my pockets fat
bob weave to a box out
put um up so we can boxout
fightnighting imma knock out
my dreams to be no dream
my scenes
to not be scenes
only seen in mental screen
but the physical
Can it ever be literal
Faking tough
Im a bluff
but im rough
Mind so stuffed
With old stuff
Mindful rigid
Got me livid
Look
The world is crazier but you still ask why we stress
Want us to speak up yet say less
Want to be a **** without the mess
You want it all but in fake no guess
Your not making since and i’m upset

I just wanna chill try my best
To not **** up this test
I'm not like you
Noone like you
And i try to
But i might lose
Myself
Only one of me not gonna fake to someone else
What’s killing me the fact you doing it to someone else
I hate rapping now cause  yall aint real just wanna please for wealth
I bet money you ask him real **** he’ll ask someone else
These questions
suggestions
make christmas feel real
I want too much calingl it overkill
I wanted money
but think my bars funny
Casted as a dummy
And if i had the skills then the fame would be coming
**** tell me real fam
Do i dip like cam
Or am i real i am
These problems got me
Broken
Heart bleeds wide open
Infection steal the tokens
And throws them back to ocean
I see rough bright commotion
But slow on locomotion
So tell me go or stay
Cause i will walk rest of the way
I need to be heard
Found like a bird
Still free in the word
Yet smart like a nerd
Changing proper verb
Remove learning curve
Stop dictating time to serve
And i just wanna be heard
Killed *** he was bird
My ***** juice he the nerd
Changing up on the verb
I just wanna be heard

im been lost
tryna find my cost
cold as jack frost
mentality off
wishing on upon a star
skipping the religion
hoping i can make it far
guess its fate decision
i was blind to the lies i had in my eyes
yet sly to sight the profane hate disguised
whats the use got no living proof
mom and dad in a suit
forever locked in a coup
no car no whips
just graves
no trips
whats the position that i really ever wanted
sit in mental prison cell open coolers wanted
sick of the plan an occasional purple
whats my next step
wheres the new bet
getting much wet
swim in green  i get
time so goodby
i give up now
i been run thru my thoughts and i don't know how
i been feeling so insane ohh am i that now
everything is so deranged i cant comeback now