The sky cried
The day I realized
With all the goodbyes
I'd lost my will to rise

All I'd trusted were gone
Three had moved on
Two had withdrawn
One had played me like a pawn

I began to rome
Soul broken and alone
Heart as cold as chrome
Realizing I had no home

What happened?

What was lost between
Point A and Point B
That made you believe
Love was bought with currency?

What led to this misconception
That you pay for love with perfection?
You who live with this deception
Listen close, give me all your attention
I've seen every flaw you care to mention.

Everything from unthinkable to unpleasant
And it will never change the way
I love you, future, past, or present.

You will never find a simple person
They simply don't exist
Everything you learn
Adds another turn
To the maze of their subconscious

You can never adore a simple person
For contrast is reality
It's the victories they've squandered
And the way they've pushed onward
That makes them truly lovely

Cheating Chance isn't hard
But cheating Fate is impossible

For while you play checkers with Chance
Fate moves you like a pawn on a chess board

What is a perfect storm?
Something beautiful? Something wonderful?
Something tragic? Something terrible?

Do you wish it had never wreaked havoc?
Do you wish sometimes it would come back?
Was the magic worth the madness?

I wonder and wonder and wonder
When you left, If you were worth
The world you tore asunder.

Warning:

Crossing a writer's path
Means becoming part of their world
It means being apart of their words

Maybe as a muse
Maybe as a shade
Maybe as the home
We return to everyday

We do not forget
So rest assured sure, for better or worse
You are somewhere
In all the words we've written

I stepped away from the world
To fill the holes in my soul

Only to come back to find
Your life in ruin and strife

I tried to help but you
Couldn't comprehend where I'd been

...So we parted ways...

But sometimes I wonder
How you'd have fared, if I'd been there?

If maybe...it was my fault

I lost you, and that's when
I found where I loved you

You were part of my foundation
Now you're gone and so's my coordination
A train with broken tracks
Without you, can I reach any destination?

You were the wall at my back
Now I fall and no one's there to catch
Now I fight enemies on both sides
From my future and my past

You took torn parts of me with you
When you left the places where I loved you

Tomorrow, for me, was scary
The root of all my worry

'til you traded your tomorrows
For the high price of "it's all over"

So now I spend every one of mine
Loving those who think of trading time

Trying to give them moments you missed
Hoping somehow I can make a difference

I know you're hurting
I'll take it all, tell me everything
Every scar, every terror
And we'll cry together
For every bleeding wound

You worry of ruining my life
By pulling me into the night
But I walk in willingly!!
For the world without you (truly)
Would be one of shadows anyway

You'll never see tomorrow's sunrise.
Were you afraid it wouldn't come?

Was the darkness too empty?  
Or the night too long?
Was last night for you this lonely?

Would this horizon have made you smile?
Or one more worry for the list?

Were the demands on you too great?
Was there a tipping point I missed?
Or something that could've made you stay?

The greatest love I've ever been shown
Was to be seen at my most invisible
And to be loved at my most despicable

It sustained me til I could become
What I thought was impossible

She sighed,
"I wish I'd grown as tall as you"

                                                   "Oh but you did"
                                    Her large oak answered,

"Really?"
                                        
   ­                           "Truly, you simply stand tall
                                                        on the inside"

I wrote what I felt
I never said it was right
Off key notes still ring
And I still hope to be heard

I wished upon a falling star
And I asked to take its vacant place
As the morning wasn't far

Then the sun would rise and I'd,
Be there, unseen, no one watching me
Finally able to breathe and to hide

They speak sand
A million grating opinions
A blinding, scathing storm
Made to leave you raw

They speak sand
So take it with a grain of salt
And douse the world in water
So instead of raw, you're polished

I set out just as the sky took flame
Walking forward 'til I felt it's heat
Letting it set my anger and I ablaze

And together, we burned
Until the day, to night, turned

If I voiced my pain
Could you hear it?

Or would it be more static
In the white noise?

Maybe I can't change the world
But I can change how I see it
And no one can take that from me

So I choose to see the good

Perhaps I am a victim of circumstance
But then why would I give away more
And let another decide how I will react

So I choose to laugh in the rain

Instead of adding to it

My words and actions were empty
And, so was I, when you held me

And your hand, strong, on my back
Wasn't a support, but an act

All the stories of us you spun
As fake as the smile I painted on

Until from within the spotlight's glow
I saw it was all for the crowd, for the show

And I ran because nothing was worth this
Ran, like a puppet from her ventriloquist

I feel therefore I write
Write until I understand
It doesn't turn the wrongs to rights
But peace is the ink that stains my hands

Yesterday I really needed to be seen

But I wasn't,

                         and it hurts

Today, I woke, determined

To find someone who feels invisible

I know you had to leave
So thank you for leaving
Pieces of you behind
In everything you loved

I'll seek them like a treasure hunt
And they'll find me when I fall
And they'll make smile with my heart
Until we meet again

Death is like the wind

Unexpected, shocking every time
Cold to the bone, affecting every life
Quick as a flash or slow as a sigh
Brings tears to stinging eyes
Always there in the fall
Bound, in the end, to freeze us all

Kindness silences suffering
It binds up the untrusting heart
And sings hope back into life

I was built like Rome

And burned like it too

And the wreckage was overwhelming


So I focus on the little fixes

Till the tune ups add up and

I can be proud of the person I built from ashes

Your mind is an artisan of words,

Infusing the mundane with fantasy

Crafting dreams to reality



So pick it up like a pen

And write yourself a better story

Should I give up on the right way,

When the easy way

Looks to get me there so much sooner?

Nothing feels quite the same

As walking through a city

Papered in all the old memories

That made you happy


Where past and present blend

Into a new kind of "when"