I want to like surprises
But my mind has let me down too many times

Do I imagine the best
In the name of positivity?
Or settle for pessimism
For the sake of reality?

Because right now I'm trying
Trying to tightrope the line
And instead of finding balance
I'm shaking with fear of losing what's mine

So while id love for the world to prove me wrong
Id rather just know where I stand

I stand here in the mists of uncertainty
Fierce in fidelity, firm in my affection
And unsure if I am alone in this place

I watch every wisp in empty air
Making solid hopes of shifting shapes
Ignoring shadowy doubts thick upon the ground

Believing that every new second
Holds your voice calling for me
And every next glance meets yours

Yet you remain ephemeral
And I'm left spinning in the obfuscation
Hearing echos and seeing ghosts

I know I'm not far
From the beginning of my road

But in everything I'll still see
For everything I will still be
In all the breaths I'll still breathe
I'll do it without a part of me

Because I gave it to you
The day you made me believe
That love wasn't a wish or a dream
That is was more than make believe

You changed everything

I don't know how to respond
You say so many things
Things that should be helping
but that's the painful thing I'm learning

How can I help?
How are you doing?
What's wrong inside your mind?
How can we fix it this time?

And I don't know the right answer
Because an "I don't know" given in earnest
Enough times repeated, you'll lose interest
but my battle is just as potent, eternally unended

So I think my way down all my maze's dead ends
Looking desperately for a new bend
Until my phone screen goes black
And it's just me, alone, staring back

I'll never forget the day
When stress got the best of me
And I finally told you my worries

And it was the worst timing
But we still went to that concert
Though on the way up we didn't speak

And then the crowd was deafening
But somehow so was our silence
And all we could do was just be

But when the lights went down
And we realized six inches makes a big difference
And there's no way I'd be able to see

You picked me up
And stood me on your feet
Though it can't have been easy

And that feels more real than anything
Because nothing was perfect
But you still cared for me

I will not walk in the unknown
If we two stand at a fork in the road
And hesitation held his other hand
I'd go my own way, ready to try again

But you were a road less traveled-er
An adventure seeker who was still
Strong and sure enough to be a shelter
As warm and quick as a fire

And now we come to another divide
And I let go of the hand I held so tight
And you walk the middle ignoring either side
Until you crest this hill on high

And this is where I go
As I have always done before

But I've never loved like this
So I'll walk up this blind hill
My heart in hand, red on my sleeve
Flipping the coin on a ring or a guillotine

I enjoy my lab and goggles
I love my church and scripture
But my soul longs for ball gowns
And my heart awaits adventure

I'll make a good scientist
A faithful wife and Christian
But still I dream of princes
And righting unrightoeus dominion

For while I have a scholar's mind
And all I've ever learned is reality
I was born with a writer's blood
And would rather breathe in fantasy