if every action has an equal,
opposite reaction,
and i have done nothing but good
why do bad things happen to me?
where can i find my happiness
if nothing but my own energy is
driven to boost someone else's joy
is it
selfish
to ask that one thing
might go well
even for a moment
or maybe it's fantasy
maybe those who work hard
cannot reap any labor for that belongs to
those above them

from the walls here in this fort,
i have completely protected myself as long as i don't leave.
i am armed with swords words of hate
walls of avoidance
and armies full of the wicked that believe in me
but some days i look outside
and wonder what it could be like
if i didn't worry about
if someone would play the intricate chess game
that is my heart
and become victor
but only for them to sweep the board
and make me slowly pick up every pawn into place.
and then i find myself looking at you
wild child, born to roam and fly among the savage
nymph, with a soul like ripples on a lake at midnight
odysseus, someone who is alluring enough to keep me entertained
but of course, you could never stay
and those feelings could never stayed, no matter how many nights i stayed up
thinking of those winsome eyes
the idea of you could never stay
i have locked myself up
in order to protect myself.
what i would do if i meant that you could be let in, though
what i would do.

cyanide on your lips,

ready to **** with all with the words you proclaim.

fingers point wildly at you,

aiming for bullseye,

hoping for your silence in return.

yet too soon your honey-covered words drown them in false belief

and quietly they all dissipate.

"drop the charges

he speaks the truth

flush out the accusations

set him free"

and then leaves the star witness,

who knew what happened

deaf to his voice.

her throat itches to declare

"liar!"

to the snake

licking the honey.

all fire is eventually put out.

the cacophony eventually hushes down to a whisper

and then all that is left is the remnants

embers

and then there is nothing but the dark.

the still silence fills the void and entangles one into

the demon that is alone.

he is not what i would call a dumb blonde,
except for in one thing.
how can one be oblivious to something so obvious as affection?
can you see that i swoon when you walk me to the front door?
or did you notice that i handed you half a dozen cookies without mentioning why?
what about the times we've spent hours listening to the universe speak?
he is blind, when it comes to this.
i love you, i do,
but please,
see that i am falling for you.

whisper in my ear.
tell me all you know.
indulge me in the complexities and riches of your life.

where do those blue eyes of yours come from?
do you ever believe in fate?
were you ever mine in a past life?

the thirst for knowledge
is a wild thing.

let it be quenched.

it seems that when i am with you,
only bad things happen
like how last thursday, i fell on my face besides you.
or two mondays ago when i almost pushed my best friend into you.
and how on tuesday the fifteenth i messed up on all the cupcakes.
because i couldn't stop thinking of your annoyingly pleasant voice.
the universe is asking me to have a heart attack when i am with you,
i swear.
i wouldn't trade it for the world, though.
not if it means i can see you.

if i had to play favorites, you would be first.
even with your egomaniac persona.
even with your snarky attitude.
even with your manipulative words.
you would still be my favorite.
even though you are a bit of a brat.
even though you really don't know how well off you are.
because with those precious, carob colored eyes, and that blinding smile,
how could you not be?

on that day in seventh grade i saw you.
how our math teacher pronounced your name, turning your last name into three syllables instead of just two.
how your name so smoothly
struck a chord inside of me.
it’s almost if you are a greek myth, obscure and eternally declaring what only the divine understand.
you are icarus, blazing into the sun without knowing for the sake of being an egomaniac.
you are apollo, forever bright and belonging to the heavens, only coming down to the earth to mess with a poor nymph’s heart.
you are orpheus, willing to do what it takes to get what you want and charming people with your slick, smooth words.
you are aphrodite, your beauty is unmatched to those foolish mortals.
you are the muse of my mornings and one of the immortals.
you do not belong here.