I miss the life I use to live

But it’s easier to remember only the best things, when they become a distant memory

The bad things that made me leave, easily forgotten when they no longer hurt so deep

The house I still call home, even though the contents no longer feel so
I haven’t come to grab all my things - I simply don’t want to leave

An empty room is not what I should see
The clock is ticking loudly, distant emptiness, no one to see

I have to let go of the place that is no longer my home
I cry as I try to remember only the best times we all shared, wondering the house there is no sight of me

I miss home and the person that made it feel that way,
how I long for those days.

It’s 10:46 am and I wake.
I long for the days nobody needed to know “*** slept in so late”.
My phone is a representation of the modern world I have come to hate.

Modern sugar, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine. without it everyone will scream.

Conversations are endangered, books fallen so deep into obsolescence they all grazed their knees. Need to know the meaning of life? You can have all the answers just google it with ease!

Mobile phones are no longer an accessory, they have become a part of human race.
Letters?
Radios?
Asking someone on a date face to face?!

A new world plague, a damaging outbreak, the modern Spanish flu.
Unrealistic images breaking teenager’s hearts because they are impossible to outdo.

Not listening to our world that passes by, instead living in our headphones.
Zuckerberg murdered the way the world use to live and left behind nothing but gravestones.

I rely on all of this just as much as the next.
I long for answers that cannot be answered, they are far too complex.
“what is my purpose?” “why did my life have to turn out this way?”
Google? Are you there? I need your help, I am not okay.

When your 17
And she’s snuck out late at night
Don’t tell her you love the way her hipbones stick out at her side
Don’t kiss them
Don’t tell her you love her long, blonde hair

Because she will grow,
She will grow vulnerable
And her body will grow strong
For the words you spoke about her bones,
The whispers you sang about her hair,
They will grow
And so will she,
She will cut her hair short like she never said she would
Her hipbones will hide away for the baby she may one day bear

Those things you once praised
No longer remain
So how can she still be beautiful?

Instead of admiring the things that will change
Admire the things that will always remain

~ shay

I really need to see someone,
this is getting out of hand
My bedsheets have not been washed in weeks.

I would rather not speak-
about the laundry, stacked so high because my mind is occupied.
Where is my pride?

Medication bottles stay empty because a doctors visit is far too complex

How has he stayed?
Why hasn’t he left?
He is rare, handmade.

I really need to see someone,
before I simply fade.

~ shay

For the words that slip from my tongue
And **** the devotion between me and the ones I love (the most)
My eyes wilt, sad for the hurt that I produced
The words that never should of been spoken - I am just as broken
  
Can’t take back the words I spoke
Because scars don’t heal for a reason
They remain with you, words imprinted beneath your skin
I only wish you knew,
to me you are the moon
I am broken

My heart is not cold - it’s warm within
Where do I begin?
I wish I could undo the words that wounded because they are all untrue
•
I truly do, Love you

~ shay