When you feel like nothing
You can pretend your someone else
Or
Being just nothing
Act like yourself
The last resort is harder
As people can get closer to you
It makes you alone as sometimes
They
Become further apart
But enjoy if they reach out to you
As its more often than not
Hold it, embrace it and if there's a chance
Kiss
Maybe tomorrow or the next
You will be alone again
Amongst the gods
In the star
Between lines in a book?
Between a pause
You ultimately, be alone again
Sometimes it's your choice
Or other people
Their beautiful things when your nothing
So why not
Forget your self
In summery- I was pushing you away, you were trying to love and support me as I was overwhelmed. You needed a listening ear and wanted to know if I was ok. You have a pattern in contacting X partners to lead people into your cause of pretending to be a victim. You mentioned money and hinted that maybe I had taken advantage of my X partner. Throughout the relationship, I did not share information with you both is laughable. It is my responsibility to react to your unintentional catalyst, but everything is not your responsibility. You contacting her for the first and only time in our ten-month relationship where you were really worried about was only concerned about me.
My narrative is that your abusive with challenging son lied after stealing my things out of my bag and taking them into the lounge to charge his iPad. This is a common thing for a child, and I'm guessing he thought my lead was quicker/bigger to charge a ropey iPad. You maintain that Robert did not do it, and you might have had some memory loss! Due to your complete denial of the facts and your nonlinear/irrational argument about it not occurring, despite it happening, I shouted. This has an impact on me in various ways.
I was not pushing you away as I told you, what I was thinking. I was feeling due to the long-standing behaviours which you hide, your ideal fantasies and world of paranoid ideas. There have been many comments that I would find some in my new job and that you’re self-conscious. I communicated the whole time that I wanted space and way which you perceived as pushing you away. You contacted my X partner, mentioning personal things and things that you did not need to say. You were so concerned about me that you failed to tell me and keep it a secret.
After this time, you ignored me until going to the beach after you requiring time. Time for what I ask? that I do not listen to you etc. If I shouted at you again, it would be over and implied I'm not giving Robert an Eight-year-old a chance which was unnecessary and expressed this was further criticism. It's all about me when talking about you. I have shown patient/problem solved due to Roberts off the scale behaviours.
We agreed that things are complicated when not together and a consideration/agreement that we would move in with each other. Despite a plan, you made No attempts to progress forward despite my actions and planning. I consider there was an expectation of selling everything then move into YOUR home, which has excessive rules which only applies to me and does not apply or anyone else. I have not imposed any rules on you.
Am I worst off then when I met you? Yes. I have bi-polar but as your texted “depending on my mood”, I consider I to be more stable. The only time your happy is when you are attempting to get pregnant, or there is an opportunities to support your and your son with boundaries issues.
I have done things wrong, but I know what’s it's like do the opportunity and sacrifices to be in a lasting relationship, where you only know to make unfair comparisons while living in your continued past. You are better on your own, but I know you won't be as you be hooking up with some fat **** like on your computer or some ******* threesomes. Temporary things only.
I have given you cash for most you the transactions, and I got £80 so deducted that from £501 for a new bed which you contributed in selling due to your ongoing lies and false promises.
https://www.wayfair.co.uk/furniture/pdp/bloomsbury-market-saraghna-bed-cbfi1013.html?piid=35066209
I'd hoped this would be it, my love, but I do not want a future with continual arguments and blame. I have set up £20 per direct debit which is twice as much as Rob and twice as much you deserve. I hope you do get some therapy or it would make sense in a “horrocope “in a few years.
There is no need me to contact as you broke my heart or others. You no longer have any influence on me, and your words mean nothing. If you continue to at histrionically, I will just forward the emails on to Robert or text Tasha.
You there is no misunderstandings leave me alone so I can do better things
Take care, Pi Pi
Charles Baudelaire and Bukowski said “Le beau est toujours bizarre” but “Beauty is nothing, beauty won’t stay. If people like you, you know it’s for something else.”
Love man apocalypse