Innocence woven into cotton, pulled down, stretched and snapped.
Fingers trailing, tracing and leaving flesh branded by hot fingertips.
Fabric forgotten and crumpled on the floor, replaced by a fine coating of goosebumps dressing milky white skin.
Air thickened with sticky, salty secrets, hanging around like a morning fog.
The filtered light through curtains highlights the place where virtue meets experience and the cotton, now misshapen tells a tale.

The beauty of the written word,
I can capture on this page.
It tells the story of my pain,
It encapsulates my rage.

I can pen a verse to spite you.
I can weave a tapestry,
That can make one feel my sorrow
And how I was treated unjustly.

As when I write, one will learn
What I wish for them to know.
Cemented forever in this ink,
Is what I choose to show.

So in a way I pity you,
With your spoken word so clear.
So powerful in the moment,
But with the wind will disappear.

While over time my thoughts won’t fade,
Though in the moment I was weak.
The published word says volumes,
More than you could ever speak.

I’ve told him many secrets
And we rarely are apart,
We share our lives together
But he doesn’t own my heart.

We live life in parallel
But so many things unsaid,
Spectator in my own life
Who’s this stranger in my bed?

When your pain’s too painful to be shared,
Put down your pen
Let us be spared.

Come back when the problems have resolved,
You’ll write again
That’s what your told.

Don’t burden us with an ugly thought,
Now hide your pain
That’s what we’re taught .

Yesterday I looked out at the view
Planned to climb mountains, buy houses, make friends.
Today I don’t open the blinds.

Yesterday I put on my trainers
I stretched, I flexed, I ran.
Today my lambskin slippers are chafing.

Yesterday I called a friend
We talked, I listened, we laughed.
Today there is not a number in my phone.

Yesterday I spent the day living
I dreamt, I pondered, I planned.
Today I am not sure I am breathing.

Yesterday was a million years ago
It went by in a blink, so fast, unstoppable.
Today is going to last forever.

When at last the sun hits the ground,
I can lie on my bed and rest.
When I sleep, I dream and I believe,
When I sleep life’s at it’s best.

In the dark no one can hurt me,
In the dark I can’t be broken.
I’m safe when my eyes are tightly shut,
I’m vulnerable when I’m woken.

Our choices mark our fragile skin
They cannot be erased
For some they fade over time
But no one is unscathed.

Lessons are not always learnt
Some marks are layers deep
For those that disregard the burn
The marks will further seep.

And sometimes when we’re careless
A mark that’s not our own
Can transfer from another’s skin
And tarnish all we’ve known.

The roots are drinking from my veins
A trunk is bursting free
Feeding on my darkest thoughts,
A sordid, twisted tree.

Its thirst, it is insatiable
Taking more than it could need
Forcing me to pour more out,
It grows from what I bleed.

The branches twist and tangle
They block out the little light
The roots grow claws and clutch my soul,
Banishing me to the night.

The wood, now dark and knotted
Though in the past it drew you in
It’s now disfigured by the toxins,
Fuelled by my mind’s poison.

It is what lies in between the meeting of our bodies,
the gaps which cannot be filled
that hold the currents of all the possibilities.
Leaving prickles on our skin,
places that may look empty,
are filled with a tension that captures every breath.

It is what lies in between all the words that we speak,
when there is too much to say
that hold all the secrets too big for our fragile ears.
So words remain unspoken,
until the air in between,
swells and it swallows us whole, leaving  no space at all.

Pick a label to wear,
With pride or on secret- it doesn’t matter.
Once you have chosen, you’re stuck with it
If you don’t pick one, one will be assigned
So be quick to avoid disappointment.
Each and every one will become heavy to wear,
Though some have a little more weight than others.
The label will cover up a multitude of sins
And can disguise who you really are- even from yourself.

Promises hang loosely from the lips
But heavy on the soul

Girl bent over moonlit lake,
Calm broken by a tear.
She has made a big mistake,
She must get out of here.

Her kneeling image in the night,
Is a long forgotten silhouette.
She cannot make what she did right,
She can’t return home yet.

It’s crawling through my veins,
Tearing up my skin.
Taking over every cell
Destroying from within.

Like a leech it drains me,
******* ‘til it’s done.
I pull but it won’t let go,
The creature’s all but won.

I scratch, I scream, I beg,
Much too weak to flee.
No escape, I’m trapped for good,
Battling against me.

When the night sky expands in front of you until the stars are out of reach,

And the weight of the darkness holds you still…

You’re trapped looking at the beauty you are aching to touch,

But Knowing you never will.

Your presence is here
But I’m walking alone
And I’m forced to remember
It’s now a house not a home
It holds many memories
But with time some will fade
Both forgetting and remembering
Now makes me afraid
At night dreams bring comfort
But with day comes the dread
Childhood nightmares have changed
Now they’re living instead
It’s a funny thing time
How it keeps moving on
But I’m caught between frames
Of you being here and then gone