I'm not sleeping because I'm weeping to the feelings that
I am missing you.
I lie here wide awake.
I don't know what it's going to take.
To go through time without being a part of you.

I believe I'm just existing
because I'm missing
being engaged with activities once shared with you!

I'm trying to find a song with the words that I can sing along.
That will tell  the words to
what I feel in my soul.

So much time has gone by.
I feel like I'm just holding on
to somebody that
I don't want to let go.
That's you.

There's nothing I can do.
The situation will never change.
The furniture will never be rearranged.
To make things right between the two of us.

It will never be possible for me
to be your number one man.
Or to be the only man in your life.
You have already proven that to me.

This will never be possible.
It will never be just
me and you.

So, I had to send
my heart away and
to put up a wall before
I fell Into an abyss.
This is true!
Even though I still love you

It was something I had to do.
You weren't going to change your situation to be with me.
Because, your  multiple situation  works best  for you.
So this will remain the same.

There will be no change to the course at hand.
I will never ever be
your only man.
It just will never be.

I'm signing off now
Maybe someday you will see.
If you only could have changed your ways!
It would still be you and me.

Simba

Mary Ann,
I'm not going to write my
negative thoughts.

So, I have these positive
words to say
I wouldn't be who I am now
or have the things that
I have today

If it wasn't for you being
in my life of yesterday
I would still be far behind
Still sitting in
the gray

It is true I have
to say

I'm working harder now
to educate and prepare for
the new challenges of
my new career
I have come too far
to throw it all away.
I have learned to overcome
all of my fears
To become stronger
in every way.

I don't know what the future
is going to bring.
All one can do
is to take it
day by day.

I'm not giving up!
I have to keep forging
forward.
To grow stronger
each and every day.

You have pulled the strength
out of me.
The strength that
I've had all along.
To set goals and then
to achieve them.
The tasks that are in front
of me.

It's not the first time
I have challenged the goals
you introduced  to me.
The ones I gave thought to
then realize they would
make me a better person.
It was you that made
me see.

That when I set my mind
I can do anything.
To be able to accomplish
and to achieve
the tasks that are
in front of me.

I could go on and on
to Infinity and beyond.

So, with all these positive
words.
That I have written to you today.

I'm going to end my
words now.
I'm going to end them
in this way.

Thank you
from the bottom
of my heart...
For believing in me.

From Me to You

Simba

Enjoy this Pow Wow !
Smell the smoke from this peaceful camp fire!
Breath in the spirit from what comes from with in the Pow Wow camp.
Relax and enjoy the smoke as it ascends to the spirits of are ancestors above.
Peace, Love, and Happiness to all Family's and Friends!

Simba

To be truly alone does not just mean to be alone from others, it also include being alone from your poisons,prejudices, jealousy, hurts,anger, ambitions, fears, hopes, ego and your thoughts. Once you can drop all this baggage then only can you hope to truly understand what it is like to experience aloneness. Aloneness is vastly different to loneliness.

Like water which can clearly mirror the sky and the trees only so long as its surface is undisturbed, the mind can only reflect the true image of the self when it is tranquil and wholly relaxed. A mind that has understood the whole movement of thought becomes extraordinarily quiet, absolute silent. Silence comes when the mind is no longer seeking, no longer caught in the process of becoming.

The mind can never experience the new, and so the mind must utterly still.
What is important is to be inwardly very simple, very austere, which is to have a mind not clogged with beliefs, with fears, with innumerable wants, for only such a mind is capable of real thinking, of exploration and discovery.

Stillness that is induced, enforced, is still not stillness at all. It is like putting a child in the corner – superficially he may be quiet, but inwardly he is boiling. So a mind that is made quiet, and stillness that is induced can never uncover that creative state in which reality comes in to being.

To observe, to watch, to give you whole attention to something beautiful, your mind must be free of preoccupations, must it not?
It must not be occupied with problems, with worries with speculations. It is only when the mind is very quiet that you can really observe, for then the mind is sensitive to extraordinary beauty, and perhaps here is a clue to our problem of freedom.

If you want to take a long journey, you must carry very little, if you want to climb to a great height, you must travel light.

Simba

To have an overactive mind.
I just don't understand,
the reason behind.

To get stuck on a thought.
I don't know the reason,
why?
It plays over in my head,
it gets worse every time.

To say I will stop.
I really do try!
It seems to come back,
with the blink of an eye.

It pushes you further away
each and every time.
I don't know why these
thoughts,
stay in my head
like  a display.
My brain seems to be
always, working overtime.

I say that I'm sorry!
To mean it that way.
For these thoughts
to come back,
seems like everyday.

It starts to degrade,
any emotions that
might remain.
It keeps on pushing.
Time slips away.

It's all in my head!
Im feeling the pain,
of being an over-thinker.
The thoughts remain
the same.

I'm starting to dread.
The affecte it has on,
the one I lost
Hook Line & Sinker.

I just wanted to say!
That I am truly sorry
for being this way.
To cause the hurt,
the dismay  
of being an
over-thinker.

May I say to you!
On this very day.
That I really don't want it
to be this way.

It's all in my head.
That's all I have to say.

Simba

Hey Mary Ann!
No more movies.
No more wine.
It all boils down
to a waste of time.
We snuggled,
we cuddle,
we reminisced!

You said "I was the best that there is"
I don't believe it now nor
did I believe it then.
I'm not the only one
you do this with.

This time I'm done
I've said it before  
I've realized it's
a revolving door.

Now, the reopening of  my eyes
as of yesterday
made me realize
what I must do today.
So, this is what I did!

Canceled my timeshare ...

The End.

Simba