Is it the drugs?
Is it me?
Is it everyone around me?
No, it's just me.
And all the worthless decisions I've made.  
Are my thoughts even coming from me?
Am I even in control anymore?
No. I'm not, it's another person with a new gaol.
To end all feelings in my body.
I can't tell if it is a gift or a problem.
Who am I?
I'm not normal.

My mother told me cigarettes were bad,
I smoked them and kept them in my school bag.
I never liked to listen to their advice,
Instead, I chose to pay the price.
I was cold and ashamed,
to the people who gave me my name.
Now I'm stuck, addicted, and about to abrupt.
Im a quiet and simple but this time im going to interrupt
Because ive been ruined and I did my first cut.

The way you make me feel.
So filling.
So full.
The memories of us together.
So happy.
So loving.
The present-day of us.
So angry.
So hated.
The past lasted sooner than I thought.

My head is pounding and my stomach achs,
Wishing I would eat but it's for my own sake.
I wish for this feeling to fade away,
but it's here every ******* day,
I wish for a blade in my hand
So much blood that I cannot stand,
These cuts on my wrist help the pain,
These cuts on my thighs keep me sain,
Call me whatever you want,
Take your last final shot,
I'm finally gone, I'm feeling numb
my eyes are closing starting to feel dumb
my mind is rushing,
my love is cussing
yelling my name as I drift away
Yelling to me please stay
I wake up only to see
A white room with plenty
He is here saying I love you
I look up at him and say I love you too

Human bodies are filled with terroir
Every mind is filled with fear
Every girl looks in the mirror
Only to find a broken smear
She runs away from everything
Just to find out she’s no longer here
Just to see if there’s something lingering
But all she finds are her worst fears.