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Rachel Nov 2019
Twirling flowers you picked for me
so sweet
Junipers high in the quick
summer's heat
You're sweetly in age and
no time is ours
Passed you gently but
never in my arms

Your breath lingers over
my pale white skin
Closeness and apartness are
growing thin
Needing the ****** of your
motorless wings
To the reproach, that for which
my name sings

Duty destroys and
time is a begger
Please hide your eyes
from the leachy fetter
Rachel Nov 2019
Where does pain come from?
How desolate is desolation?
We die by the way we've lived
A mascaraide of a thousand questions
We are a skull
of flesh
wandering
busily on this Earth
Rachel Nov 2019
Nihilism,
there's nothing like it.
Marriage,
as the ritualistic dance of death.
Illusory,
a desire not to know thy self.
Superimpose,
'the power' one onto the other.
Disillusioned,
a hope for love therein.
Cutting ties,
with the real source of love.
Confusing,
Hell for Heaven-union in separation.
Nothing,
nothing at all is here.
Reality,
is on the other side.
Love,
is freedom.
Rachel Nov 2019
Ego shattering
Space
Fragile
Fleeting
Crumbling
Opening of the formless
Everyone was asleep and he walked out
Switching places
Loosing faces
The wrong way IS the way
Something good is coming
Rachel Nov 2019
Do you ever feel as though you know the truth of all things?
Do you ever feel as though you know the entire universe all at once?

Have you ever felt 1,000 years of pain as if it were all your own?
Does it seem like you can feel all of the energy, all around?

Do you believe there is only one thread of life that is always moving in and through you in the place where there is no time and space?
Are you experiencing the most blissful joy, together with a deep, deep sorrow?

In short, do you FEEL too much? And are you confused by all this happening within? Me too!
Rachel Oct 2019
****** myself, I, for deeds done and not done!
Cursed that horrid deed.
What would have come to be had you pre-deceased me?
Voiced in visualizing a rise of the dead in dreams
The power is death passing suffering in seizures of nineteen nights
Take away the veil of the evil in this nightmare of no awakening
Come, this way, I will show you hellishness seeping in thru cracks of the mind

In this bind I have to you I have been made deadened
Alone to follow the demons in this world
Hark to the angels to sway my actions and lock my lips!
With benign forces on a cosmic level
And all the unnatural deeds
Compassion and forgiveness lie upon us, unto each to the other
If anyone is listening, tell me now, who summoned this chaos?!

Given to women and taken the child, oh joy and ruthless cruelty!
Born and unborn.  Done and undone.
Taking my future with the end of yours, oh retched moans.
What is the hint of that to come?
Where are we in this existential void?
A sovereign flower plant seeds for regrowth in a new time.
The smell of sickness lingers
Can what’s done be undone?!

The cutting blades of thoughts
Swaying one way only to swing back this way
Again, for another ****!
I’d thought they’d be duller after much use
Instead, they swing faster as if my brain is the sharpening tool.
The gauges are becoming deeper and with better precision.
“Please STOP” I yell.
“Please HELP” I cry.
I don’t think there is anyone here.

Am I the protagonist?
I am frightened in my shaken center.
Who is in charge of the new order?
Can I be made limitless, safe, healed and whole?
I beg you, make me free to forgive and free to save the world!
Rachel Oct 2019
Things are mostly dead
But more or less alive

We must endure
Mostly unpalatable things, yet
More or less continue to strive

We are not here to be happy
We are here to be awake

Everything is perfect
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