Rachel

Rachel Apr 2019

Woman are the source of Power & Energy
It is why we are worshiped
Women will fall when there is no strength in Men
You escaped the Act of War
In so doing
The Conflict Remains
Standing Strong in our Truth
Requires
The Strength of a Great Warrior!
My Soul communicates with your Soul
I am the Being, behind the Doing
I have to Fight to do Right
Or else Anger takes over and I sin.
I’ve been thrown into an existential crisis
And locked myself up in my chambers
To meditate and self-realize
Define yourself by your eccentricities
Redemption is found in your soul
It was becoming too sentimental
It has been a long and arduous travel
You will long for the sweet release of Death
Reason imposes on our nature
I have flaws that are detrimental to life

Rachel Apr 2019

OM

A created space of air, fire and water
Welcomed into this sphere of time
Invoking guiding spirits and their wisdom
Searching for healing and wholeness
A ringing in the ears
The vibrational sound of the Universe
OM
A humble asking
A divine calling
OM

The pillar of flame becomes dual pillars
Two forces of fire slip into subconscious sleep
Open mind, open-hearted
Heart throbbing pulses felt
Submerged in water
The great purifier
Extinguishes the fire
OM
Giving thanks
A peaceful feeling
OM

Rachel Apr 2019

Shaman Voyagers

We are primal people
Dissociating from the ordinary world
Through the alternate dimensional doorways
To the celestial realm
While assimilating shadow content

We are Shaman voyagers on our vision quests
Traversing forests while haunted
By spirits of disease
Howling and bellowing like crazed bulls
Growing she-eagle wings and
As ministers of magic
Displaying mastery of all the elements

Healed healers know and remember
We are contemplative and creative
We are prophets, mystics, guardians and guides

Rachel Apr 2019

NOW

Two eternities, past and future
Returning from an enterprise
I am more than who I was
Connected to that which
Is beyond myself
Without anxious
apartness
before
NOW
What next
Old endings
New beginnings
Dissolving into
Various openings
The perpetual unknown
Pushing us forward to the end
Our hearts sailing through infinity

Rachel Apr 2019

Grounding

White clouds blue sky
Sunny day
It’s Tuesday
I make these observations to
‘get grounded’
and bring me back into myself

Heart racing, panicky
Bad thoughts and memories
Past occurrences re-enacting in the present
Negative emotions
Bad body pain
I remind myself that I am ok, that I am safe
That nothing is ‘happening’ to me
Flight response tells me I have to leave
I have to leave NOW

Screaming, crying
I am under attack
These episodes are scary
When it’s over I feel extremely exhausted
I am left feeling numb and flat
Did I just come out of a dream?
I become lifeless, inside and out

Sleep, eat, yoga
Exercise and swim
Reach out to others and stay connected
Go to work and do my chores
I do what I can to get back up after
Getting run over by PTSD.

Rachel Apr 2019

PAIN

Hated them all when I left that day
The work I do provides little hope

They are only thought forms
And I don’t care for any of them

They cause so much pain
Have no feelings for them at all

I resist the ‘what is’ and
The suffering becomes all mine

I try so hard, and then there comes the …

… the messed-up, scary pain
and upside down-ness

… the schism
… the chasm
… the fissure

Lost and unattached, forced into
The bleak brain matter of PAIN

Rachel Apr 2019

Triggered Again

Situation intolerable
People immutable
Feelings irreparable
Triggered again
Reality abominable
Thoughts inscrutable
Progress impenetrable
Angry again