Time and time again, I'll will have that stupid grin. The response you get is always the same; don't blame yourself, you're not to blame. I go through great lengths to try and hide it, it could be in my face and I'd still deny it. the thing I'm most afraid to admit, I'm not happy but still give a ****... I'm not happy and no one knows it. I'm not sure how else to show it. I'm not certian even to this day; what I want exiets, in every single way. I bare this grin every single day with the hopes someone ask if I was truly okay? There is so few who truly understand me, why does it feel like most are trying to **** me? I'm not sure how this one how this one ends, check back in five years and we'll see then.