I'm bitter and broken.
My heart is so cold
Better yet, it's frozen.
I once was grateful and kind,
Sometimes firm but
soft spoken.
I once was happy, and caring
fun and outgoing.
I loved to laugh out loud,
I liked to make people happy,
And see them smile.
But that part of me is gone,
and has been for a while.
Why was I  chosen
to be unhappy,
unloved and alone.
I'm shattered in a million pieces
but disguised as just one.
Nobody knows I'm in pain
from a relationship now torn
But was so perfect at the start.
Almost certain my cause of death
will be from a broken heart.
Maybe it will stop hurting,
if I just keep wishing.
I need to stop wishing.
I need to stop thinking,  crying, and feeling.
I need to stop trying,
stop looking, and
start healing.
I just want to be happy
And In love.
And be loved
The way that I love.
But it seems the way I love
Isn't enough.
Or it hasn't been yet
Bc I'm alone
And full of regrets,
For loving someone
I thought the right way.
But it wasn't good enough
For him to stay.
Or maybe he was wrong for me.
But that's so hard to accept,
And even harder to believe.
He was the only one
my eyes wanted to see.
The only one
my hands wanted to touch.
The only reason
my feelings would to feel.
The only one
I loved too much.
The only love
my heart knew was real.
And though he broke my heart
And tore my world apart
If asked 100 yrs from now
I would say I love him still.

If ever I were asked:
What could be worth the sky, the moon the stars?
your money, your house, your cars?
What could be worth your blood
your sweat, your tears?
your pain, your sanity,
your fears?
What could be worth your body
your soul, your mind?
Your wisdom, your guidance,
your time?
What could be worth your honesty
your loyalty, your trust?
your peace, your care
your love?
What could be worth your grief
your needs, your strife?
your days, your nights
your life?
Well that's answer is easy
My 3 Hearts:
Dominique, Andrew, and Lybbee.
What I have given them doesn't come close to what they've given me.
They're my thoughts at night when I'm dreaming
They're the breathes that I take when I'm breathing,
They're blood that my keeps my heart beating,
They're my light in dark so I can see
They're my calm so I can have peace
They're everything Ive ever wanted so there's nothing else I'll ever need.
They're worth can not be measured
So To give up everything
For my 3 hearts?
It would be my pleasure.
Having them and the love they bring
Is the only thing I treasure.

Emerging from his lies’ consequences
This pain-it’s continuous it’s relentless
It’s overwhelming chills
It’s a never ending
Senseless
Illness.
Which could of been avoided
At first suspicion
But to my gut and heart
I didn’t listen
And no answers will I have
to the many “why” questions
So this hurt I will endure
dawning through a hard learned lesson
At the very first time of rejection
and deception.
Walk away. Leave.
No exceptions.

Wishes
They never come true
If some do
Was only by fluke.
A shooting star
So I wished once more
Just to be sure
Wishes did not in fact come true
But there you were
My fluke.
Proof.
It’s true.
Until Now, here I sit
With only memories of you
That’s it.  
Looking to see another shooting star
Hoping for one more fluke
To wish I’d never wished for you.

To everyone else
she was the girl who had everything
But to her self,
she had only her dreams.
A loving family,
Countless friends,
Not a single enemy.
Respectful
and grateful.
Always helping anyone
with anything.
Beautiful
and smart.
Humble
and gracious.
Always giving you her best
with no expectations.
Content
and happy, as she seemed
Loving every moment
Living every minute  
As if every second were a gift.
Interesting
and intriguing.
Everyone watched
as she’d speak
But
No one
was really
listening.
Ugh, she wished she were dreaming.
In her dreams
she could just be.
No pressure to be perfect,
no troubles.
No faking a smile
to hide her struggles.
How wonderful, she thought,
to go to sleep
to never wake up
to always dream.
And that is what she did.
No thinking, no thought,
no time to react,
Her dreams were triggered
with the quickness of a finger.
She won’t ever wake up.
A life we can’t get back.
Cautiously,
and carefully  listen
to someone
when they are speaking.
Their words and what they are saying,
could have very different meanings. Maybe to her,
if someone
would of  just listened,
they could  of
possibly reassured her
that her life,
it was a dream,
that was very much
worth living.