Look in the lady's direction
Begin to drift into daydream land
Where the sands in the hourglass are falling slowly
You don't even know me
Millions of thoughts per millisecond
Left with dead eye stare
Motionless
Two words bring me back to reality
All that was heard was
******* ******

I don't laugh much
But when I do
My soul is tickled black and blue
Not pink
Let's put a few in ink
And leave the kitchen sink
Ok buddy
Now here they go
Why aren't you nicer to girls?
I've seen love in women's eyes when I speak truthfully and cheerfully
But glee is as rare as a leprechaun family
Dancing under a lunar eclipse
On a galaxy of four leaf clovers
On a snowy day in hell
If you're ringing my bell
And actually I don't believe in hell or god
But I'll still say go to hell
Or god proceeded or followed with my expletive of choice
Spoken with a calm monotone voice
That's my choice
When it comes to my voice I've been mocked
Because of dejected tone plenty of times
So when any pretty lady says she likes it
I just laugh in her cute little face
Now label me a grade A+ A-hole
What a disgrace
I've been asked a billion times over
Why haven't you done more with your life
You don't have kid's or a wife
Because the brain was consumed by children who weren't mine
Not even a lover's
At least I could've gotten some *** out of it
But sadly she's just my sister
****** doesn't give me a *****
Why don't you like to give me hugs
She'll usually catch a silent shoulder shrug
Because I've lost everything I've built
Cared about them more than myself
Now they're gone
Here's another
Son you need to set some goals
When that's the very reason I've been kept awake
for multiple days at a time
Catching cat naps in between
Years blend together just like the days
In a continuous haze
Living with thoughts
While running from them
However it's just a maze
When you finally find the opening
Just teleports you back to the start
Oh now that's art
Truly beautiful
Scratching my head
Until there's imprints of cuticles
On my scalp
Here's the last joke that leaves me stunned
When beautiful women laugh and joke at my appearance
But at times I hear
Oh he's actually cute or ****
It's just a haircut and a shave and a bathe
I'm still me
And these thoughts vex me
Like someone put a hex on me
Because I want someone to call mine
But why can't you accept me
Whether I'm polished or not
Because notably usually it will be
Not
**** it.

There's judges for criminal behavior
There are judges for our ****** nature
Judges for who we hate
Judges for who we befriend
Judges for the way we speak
Or don't
State it till the bitter end
Judges for our sense of style
Or lack thereof
Judges for how we succeed
Or fail
I know it was predictable
You didn't need it in braille
Judges with burning eyes
Staring holes through us
While our epidermis begins to blister boil and bleed
Judges for money we handout
Or when we have our hands out
When we've fallen on hard times or just on our hard heads
Can't even pretend
Not to be annoyed
Even if I had an official bright-eyed
Decoy carbon copy of myself
Just to follow me around
There's only one critic that truly matters
Take a look in your fun-house mirror
Dead eyes

Competence has to be Irrelevance
On page one
Of the irrational book of irresponsible adults
Nothing's ever their fault
Complacence is page two
It's very true
They're fine with absolute nothings
Impeccable
As long as they find a quick dash for some cash
To take their brains to the moon
And free shelter
They think they're doing just fine
It's just plain pitiful

You'd think an apology was
An anchor tied to your leg
While in the middle of the ocean
Or a pair of pliers attached to molars
With firm grip ready to pull at full strength
With capability of permanently bruising your jawbone
You'd think an apology was a Louisville Slugger to the knee
Yeah you'd rather take all your winnings and flee
Even when those w's were bought with my own backbone
You'd take my joy
Devour those moments like strawberry scones
Washed down with your choice of ice cream and coffee
Laugh it off and label me softie
Even when strangers would mistakenly
Label me menace
With permanent grimace
When I turn ghoulish and disappear
You'd feel bad
Say you miss your best friend
Hurts to say you'd just miss using me
While I was the fool who didn't mind
Yeah he believed in
Helping one of his Best Friends  make it in life
Sad to say that you don't care for me
Constantly joke about me getting close to ending mine
I'm glad that when I pulled the trigger
It was capsules in bottles
Not the full blown steel
Now I won't feel
Bad when you cry saying you feel like a loser
At this point evidence to confirm
Your own conception
Has quite honestly buried me alive
When I distance myself for good
Just know that
It's all because you were to careless on several occasions
To even mumble a measly
Sorry

Jovial faces
Cause mopey face
To mirror
Their delightful aura
Is contagious
Like an alluring virus
Can't help but catch it
From time to time

What makes me happy
What makes me smile
Haven't thought about that in a while
Wonderful thoughts vanish in thin air
A magic trick lacking the shock and awe
Also lacking in applause
A pause that lasts forever
Like a frozen frame on
An old big screen television
Enjoyed that film
Now the pixels won't fade away
You can't watch another
Oh brother
What makes me happy
Cannot be attained in other people
Have to find it within yourself
That's quite factual
Factual enough to be
Painfully cliché