What is depression?
It’s when you wake up at night for no reason rather than feeling  scared and lonely. When you feel like your world is falling apart literally. And it probably is. My world has crashed fully and now it’s something I live with everyday. It’s all jumbled up and looks like a crashed and ****** up life. I have social anxiety as well as depression and trust me, it’s worse than wanting life to end. Because it is easy to just slit your veins open and end it all. But I have to fight everyday and try to overcome my anxiety and depression. Because I want to live. I want to be happy and find someone that will treat me with love and respect as well as protect me. But I will only succeed if I keep on going and not give up even though I’ve felt like it most days and still do. Slitting my veins will take me about 6 seconds and death will approach me faster than I can imagine. Do you really want to just give up after all the pain and suffering you’ve been through? Do you ever feel like it’s better for you to die? Better to just end the suffering? Because the only person you are fighting is yourself. And it’s worse than fighting someone else. It’s much Harder to say no to your emotions and feelings because they belong to you and they are  a part of you. In order to change what you feel you need to change yourself. But it’s not as easy as it seems. 10 times, 300 times harder. I’ve only lived for 16 years but already established that nobody gives a **** bout you. So you might as well just **** what others think and do what you love. Find a hobby, express your feelings through doing what you love. This isn’t me telling you what to do, this is you making a decision of whether or not you want to change the way you live. I’m not your mummy, I’m not  going to run after you and remind you to drink water to stay hydrated. Your mental health is as important as staying hydrated. Much more important I will say. So drink the happy tablets, the ones you produce in your head. Go out and stick your middle fingers up at the upcoming cars, if that’s going to make you happy. Go for it. But there’s a limit. Don’t  want to be seeing yourself on a death row because you killed your sibling. Think appropriately. Depression isn’t something you “make up”. It’s a real thing, it’s a disorder, just like bipolar, and ADHD. And unfortunately, once you get it, it’ll always be there. Just like ******, sadly. Even if you feel happy and fell like you’ve cured it. During hard times it’ll come back. So you gotta be extra ******* careful. During hard times go talk to someone, even talking to your hamster will do more help than bottling the feelings up and ending up feeling suicidal. Trust me the hamster will listen, they tend to be good listeners as they don’t talk much. So yeah, if your one of the depressed kids this is for you, and remember it’s not embarrassing at all to ask for help and tell people how you feel. We are all humans, at some stage everybody feels down. And remember this: all famous and well known people had depression. So know your strength.
Maria the depressed kid.