i feel her emerald eyes upon me

-or are they?

is it just my hope or the wish that i wait to come true?

if it came true;

what would be my very first words,
my very first move on her?

i know that i would ask her to kindly ignore my tremblin' hands that have waited what seems a lifetime to hold her firmly in my grasp.

because;
her body fits within my firm grip perfectly,

sinfully perfectly.

our lips locked together like a safe that holds millions of dollars in rare jewels.

the contour of our bodies melting into one another
like dark chocolate onto a luscious strawberry

like the finale at a 4th of july fireworks display... ..

i finally enter her

trying to tie my shoes,
clumsily,
not able to work out the logic of it, fumbling,
as my father stands there

his anger growing over a son who can’t even do
this simplest thing for the first time

can’t even manage
the knot to keep his shoes on

you think someone’s
going to tie your shoes for you the rest of your life?

no, i answer, forty-five years later, tying my shoe,
hands trembling with this memory

my father and all those years of childhood
not being able to work out how he loved me....
a knot so tight it has taken all my life
to untie

Late fall when leaves have left their summer homes just to lay helpless on the cold wet earth.

Some lay together in bunches in corners, while others have a space all of their own.

Some drift along a rippled water's surface being pushed far away by autumn's northeasterly winds.

Their magnificent colors are all but ignored now.

The swooshing- rattling-crackling sounds as a gentle breeze blew through their once summer home is now a distant memory.

A memory not for the leaf you understand, but for the viewer that has valued the leaf's existence.

Appreciated its every movement and sound,
sang its praise for shade against the harsh summer sun.

Even its very last movement, falling to the earth helplessly, gracefully,
only now to be walked upon by those that never noticed them in the first place.

These leaves, they share no animosity nor disappointment in those that never look upon them.

They only feel sorry for them.

But, next season after the cold winter's night has passed,
the leaves will be back once again in their full vibrant glory, living on their summer homes,
providing camouflage for a bird's nest buried deep inside,
providing shade and shelter even to those that choose to ignore all of which they are.

Only to "Fall" and "leave" us once more,
just to do it all over again and to hopefully acquire a new fan or two.

The human being.

The doer of such good.
Also the doer of some of the darkest most
nefarious behavior ever witnessed on his planet.

The human being.
So imperfect.
So bi-polar.
So frenetically unbalanced.
Flawed.

The matter of factly cold blooded murderer
which doesn't bat an eye after its despicable
display of carnage .
Carnage that not even the creatures we call
"animals" are capable of.
Flawed.

You know the ones.
General Paul W. Tibbets, pilot of the Enola Gay.
The pilot that dropped "little boy" and murdered 140,000 people.
The pilot that was spared his own life to the age 92
while ending others before they even begun.
Flawed.

You know the ones.
The human "animals" such as...
the Charles Manson's.
The Saddam Hussein's and
the Adolf ******'s of his world.
The fallen angel Satan, cast out of the heavens
during a war in the heavens never to return.
Flawed.

The drunken drivers that **** the innocent everyday.
The texting drivers that **** the innocent everyday.
The complainers.
The annoying bi-polar human being that complains
it is too hot.
Only to complain a short time later,
they are too cold.
Flawed.

The annoying human being that complains that their
garden and grass is in desperate need of rain.
This is the same human being that I have to listen to
complain in a supermarket checkout about how
they will have to dodge the raindrops when leaving the store,
such an inconvenience for them,unreal.
Flawed.

The humans that promise,
only to be filled with empty promises.
We live in a world full of empty promises.
"I swear to God" they strongly avow!
Perhaps that is their biggest problem in life right there.
Flawed.

The animal abusers and murderers that will one day
have to answer for their heinous crimes upon
God's most tame creations.
The alleged animals.
Only, they aren't the true "animals" that roam
and destroy God's Earth, no ,not at all.
That title belongs to the irrevocably flawed human being.
The ones that they themselves have brought many of
God's creations to the brink of extinction by their sheer ignorance.

Just to think....
It all began so so long ago with a man named Adam,
and a woman named Eve,
and we as God's most flawed creation
have never recovered.
Simply looking around me everyday,
I now see that we never will.....

I must say -
it's been a few years.
It's been a few years since I cared about how I looked.
I'm not sure why that is ?
I'm not sure who is to blame ?
I'm not sure if anyone IS to blame ?
I'm not sure I even care why it is -
I think that I simply wanted to write about it...heh

I will admit -
I can go 6 months or better without ...
without so much as even a trim,
never mind the process of a real haircut.
I rest my razors sometimes for 7 days...
sometimes more.
I miss that sometimes only because
I enjoy the essence of my choice of shave cream.
Don't get me wrong -
I do shower everyday....
sometimes twice.

Thing is -
when I get out of the shower...
I don't ever pamper me.
I don't look in the mirror,
don't care too really.
The reason why -
I'll tell ya...
It will only remind me that...
remind me that I am in need of a shave and haircut.

And the thing about that is -
I don't care what I look like -
Don't care what you think.
I have no one to impress.
I don't have some inner drive to impress anyone,
impress anyone with my appearance anyway.

Judge me because of it, go ahead -
The cover is just that...
just a book cover.
I'm a what's inside the book cover man.
The depth inside is infinite pages you could never read -
I'm a lifetime to finish.
The outside ......
the cover is superficial and is most often misleading.
Not to mention -
a very quick and boring ...
"had it 100 times before" read.

So -
Never judge a book by its cover...
no matter how long the hair -
no matter how unshaven.
They just don't care how they look.
Perhaps..?...?..?More importantly -
they don't care how you look either