Happy New Years
This year, I’m going to be the same.
Nothing new, nothing different
It’s my commitment to you

Don’t mess with me and I won’t with you
Memories of a great past will always last
Learnings and understandings make
Great surroundings

This year I’m going to be me
I want it to be you too
Any which way you go, I’ll be here to support you

May 20 20 bring many many
Happiness to plenty plenty

So ******
So sad
Really angry

Upset and mad
Tearful spiting bullets
Inner screaming stabbing

Boiling blood temperatures record high
Soiling every white piece
Dare you come near me

******
Next one will be my Picasso

Sometimes it takes a disaster to unite. In the disaster you learn who was there for you. Disasters come with great change in hopes to renew for a better future. Not always because it’s never an excuse for what was done wrong in the first place. Disasters do bring in some form of peace and humanity to where a truss shall form. We are all human afterall.

Pay me because I will tell them what you want them to hear. I’m surreptitious and very fast. My message from you to them will always last. Why you ask?  Experience surpass because people are vacuous, still listening to cretinous bovines, while taking their selfies. They think everything is fine. I’ll take your dime if negotiations are prime.  Always worked every time.

Everything and everyone
That was good
Was taken away

Things are possessions
With memories of great impressions
Of the past before it was taken
Years of long learned lessons  

No person, not one can be replaced
Not a day goes by
Memories will replay and stay

They were good
They were good

Now that things were forgotten
Those lovely possessions of lessons
Brings all of those years that were taken
To everyone and everything

No person, not one can be replaced
Not a day goes by
Memories will all be here to stay

They were good They were good

Many say they are watching over us
Loved ones go to heaven

I love so many up there
I never would want them to watch me

If something bad or horrible happens to me why would I want them to see that

Sometimes it seems angels are on our side and they watch after us at times

God does have a plan for us and leads us
I don’t want my dear loved ones that are angels to witness anything I’ve encountered. I love them all.

Ones mind may never be understood by those who want answers. Many are fascinated by those who they don’t understand.

Deep in the mind of the misunderstood can be grueling but yet pleasing. Can’t predict them at all. Extreme, unique, flamboyant or anything as it seems.

Why seek the answers for what you don’t know?  Answers can be deadly as it has been shown. Remember you are never alone.

money does bring happiness until it runs out but the memories are priceless

Can’t control what ******* do
But I will speak my mind

Happiness is a whole, not a hole
It’s in your heart and brain

Memories don’t cost a thing until it runs
blanks,  that’s when money needs to buy more bullets.

On January 25 of this year there was a awful occurrence that did happen. I called the police to do a welfare check on my boyfriend. It was during those freezing temperatures. I have video of the whole occurrence. I was arrested that morning due to simple assault, but was later let go and was told they didn’t want anymore calls. But later turned to be untrue. There is more video, but as embarrassing this is I don’t want to show it until the authorities of my case have seen it all. The officers that were called are on the video as well. They arrested me that night, but decided not to. I did receive a knock at my door on Friday 1, 2019. The same male officer along with an unknown black female officer came. They had an arrest warrant on me. It was Friday night and everyone was asleep and I was about to go off too. I answered the door and they came in and to my surprise they said they were there to arrest me. The female officer asked many times if we were smoking drugs upstairs and if I was on something. Anyone that knows me, knows I don’t do stuff like that. The arrest warrant was taken on the 26 of January. Signed by a judge in high Point and the claimant is unknown, but says SL stark of Greensboro police department. They got me on a Friday night because of statue G.S. 15-A-534. Meaning that they will try for a real judge to decide on a bond instead of a magistrate. They can’t hold no one for 48 hours legally without a bond. Injustice was done. I do have more evidence of this.

Some had sold their souls to the devil
Some had let the devil in without knowing in the beginning

Some how the devil always hides and chooses those that are not wise
Stepping stones is what he relies

Because the weak is what he seeks for his deceit

He gets in and reels a little deep
Once he’s in there, then buyer beware
No one looks back, nothing to care

Whose the devil you ask
Could be me, could be you or someone close using you at his dispose

The devil isn’t stupid, I give him props
He fooled me several times
All the way to tops he went

Life can’t grow crops with the devil ******* all the drops
Doubt leads to draught

The devil came in and took it all away
He blames and shames everyone with his game.
He tells you one thing and someone else another
Just for you to get mad at your brother
He doesn’t want love for one and other

Devil came this far from the beginning
Yet you keep him winning

No lives matter because the devil took your mother, brother, father, sister, children and more

We all were related in love from up above and the devil came in and lied to all until you killed us all.

Amen to all the lives you think that should matter

I’m tacky
Weird, yes I am

The sunshine is my friend

Neon, fuchsia,vibrant and the colors of happiness that glows in darkness too

Always my friend and that makes me happy

Bold, outspoken,
Weird, yes I am

Blood in the street
Chaos everywhere we see

Not a care in the world
Everything is becoming a blur

Killing has been the in thing
And people becoming insane

What happened to love and rejoice
People are dying and have no voice

It’s been going on several years
It’s worse now bringing several tears

Everyday something new
A person lost their life
Sometimes more than a few

Depression, regression, and addiction
On a rise
This isn’t such a surprise

We lost ourselves along the way
Many innocent souls has already paid

Love and compassion is truly missed
Humanity and dignity was a bliss

History does teach us all
It’s bound to happen once again
History was a lesson we should had

But we all fall
With sin
And burn burn burn

All the broken winged children will still fly
Their past, fears, cries, pains and torment

Will never happen to them no more
Moms, dads, uncles and aunts
Are upset because they left them

Free as the wind, depending how it flies
Broken wings can only go so far
They learned from past, cries, pains, and torment

Broken wings could heal but not for some.
How far was their destination?
Where did they come from?
Not from fears, cries, pains and torment

Still the broken winged children fly today.

Mr.  Man Attorney

I want to write you to thank you for all of your hard work on my case. I know you had doubts on my case,  and especially on me. I wasn’t worried about the text messages from me to Mr ******* or vice verse. He wouldn’t had produced them the way they were written. It did bother me how you were upset about the text messages. You did make me feel like I wasn’t trust worthy.

The truth is that you don’t need to always read into everything. Some things are left to be unread. You did say once that “it’s ok and that you had read and seen it all.”
The thing is that I wouldn’t care if you seen all the naked photos or pornographic material on my phone.  

I was ***** by my best friend. The friend who ***** me was the one who introduced me to Mr *******. I’m not ready to face that person. I’m not ready to face that situation at all. It’s not going to happen.

Thank you for your representation. Also those copies that you gave me, can I have you to say that Mr ******* gave them to you?  He has gotten into my electronics and phone. Good luck for me to prove it right?

I’ve been called all kinds of ****. Even a dude once. That ******* doesn’t bother me one bit at all. I can be dancing at a club or a **** hole that wants to be a club. The thing is ladies are pretty. We look nice, smell nice, and accessorize. All be **** if some dude with a hundred dollar suit comes in and he can’t buy me one ******* drink. Like 6 dollars, really?  My shoes cost more than what you’re wearing.
I really don’t give a **** what anyone calls me. Maybe I could be dude. At least I would know how to dress and please a woman. Too bad I’m not a dude. I could get off with all kinds of ******* Scott free. Cheap suits and treat myself. Then again it would not be my style.

Dudes do have it rough sometimes too. Depending on the women they get involved with. Hell could be family or upbringing. Who the hell the knows. I can tell you my son the dude would ******* know better. Women spend so much time looking good, well **** my son would be spending much time in not only treating women right but choosing the right one.

Yea choosing the right one. Strikes a nerve in everyone. Always has. You know what?  It always will. Not always easy to raise the right boy. Too much ******* on television anymore. High or low expectations, that everyone has lost their ******* minds. Nothing wrong with going old school because it’s never been proven wrong. Am I wrong?

Pay me because I will tell them what you want them to hear. I’m surreptitious and I am fast. My message from you to them will always last.  Why you ask?  Here’s my resume and my experience is that I’ve been around and they are vacuous but still listening to cretinous bovines while taking their selfies as if everything is fine as wine. The price you pay is the price you get. Just remember I never accept any checks at all because your *** can’t turn them into cash. I’m just asking for a simple percentage of your vintage and all will be. Whom am I you ask?  Well I’m the Risk sent from you to me.

Waking up is too hard to do
Moving on and the day is too much
Billion things are needed and I can’t do one
Can’t do one
If I can’t do one then nothing won’t be done
Because getting nothing done for one is no fun

If only I can do more
Then no more worries would happen at all
Then this day could be lived happily after all and never more
Days waking up like this anymore

And not for Nancy, even though I know she had opened this letter. I never felt welcomed one bit into your family ever. I only write to you Clarence.

It’s only because you were the only one that would open up and listen for a change. You did talk your **** at times but at least with me, you would shut the hell up and listen, unlike the holly hell going on at your house. I think you know at least reason and respect at least and that’s why I liked talking to you.

I loved Charlie to death. I still do. My life really hadn’t been the best without him. We were young but wanted to go to places. Do you remember how that felt like being young and wanting to go out and explore?  I know you do and it’s probably one of the reasons you enjoy hunting and fishing if you still do.

I really just wished that mine and Charlie’s mom got along. Wasn’t going to happen. Nancy likes to be a strong woman and so does my mom. I remember one night when me and Charlie were still in high school that he asked me out for a dinner and a movie. During that date, Charlie yelled at his mother and was disrespectful. It kind of scared me. I actually broke it off with him.

My mother asked about Charlie and I told her I broke it off. She said well don’t you think his feelings were hurt?  I really did consider his feelings. I really did and I talked to him again at school. I told him how I felt and he listened and actually apologized. Well we got back together and you know the rest of the story.

Nancy was very overbearing and would never give me a chance at anything. I love to cook, but I am a vegetarian. Just because I choose to be a vegetarian doesn’t mean I don’t know how to do anything in the kitchen. Would you actually care to eat something delicious that was different?  

I remember being in your living room and Bill Clinton had made a speech that his life of infidelities was no ones business. You spoke up to that television and agreed. From what your children and relatives say, you do have wisdom in-spite of your 8th grade education.

I was told you did try to pass the GED a few times and gave up. At least you did try. Charlie told me once that I would never be able to graduate and not even by my 21 birthday. I guess when he passed away I made that my challenge and succeeded it and with honors and a scholarship. I did invite you all but I know you couldn’t come to my graduation.

It was important to me. I really just don’t understand why our families couldn’t get along. It’s all water under the bridge really but just so very sad how everything ended. I tried to reach out to Claire about 8 or 9 years ago. She just told me off. She said I’m the reason for everything and much more. That hurt a lot.

Joey is doing so good. He is finishing his last year at his school. Everyone is so proud of him and you would be too. He looks so much like Charlie. I just hope and pray everyday that everyone can find peace and happiness. I would think that’s what my Charlie angel would want. Love always and take care.

Peace on Earth
Let what you fight for be worth it
Do it for the greater good
Once you decide, remember no turning back
Remember everyone is proud
Let a fight have meaning
Everyone’s rights and rights of everyone
Fights don’t come cheap
Fights hurt everyone, but for peace?
Sincerely,
Hell on Earth

The true romantic in times pass did confess his love in front of the world.

Every classic romantic tale in history had taught us all. In recent times this classic tale has new meaning.

With social media and years of reality exposure, it has less value when it comes to the so called “true romantic”.

Therefore instead about the love confession to thee, it’s all about thy.

Look at me, look how great I am, I’m just perfect and it all gets lost in translation because smoke and mirrors is used by thy to fool thee.

I use to have friends come over
I used to be happy with positive energy
There was change
Yes there was a change
You. You. You.

I had a positive outlook for myself
Didn’t make you happy did it
Now I’m the problem just like everyone else

Take your Debbie cakes somewhere else
Debbie downer
Tired of hearing about their faults
When it was you you you

I still have my friends even enemies that want to be friends
What do you have?

Debbie cakes Debbie cakes
Soon the truth will reveal
Debbie cakes

together afraid,
Brings the demons today
If tomorrow has came
We be resting in shame

Never afraid
That’s how the demons are dead
Tomorrow has come
Now that It seems we had won

Always afraid
That there is never a plan
Future is here
Burn back the demons land

If you think the resolution to your solution is to sit in delusion then you will end up with that ends conclusion

I thought I knew you
But now you scare me

I don’t know where you came from
Only the basic information

Thought of us made so much sense
Now everything doesn’t make any at all

I understand now
I really don’t know much about you

I’m in love with you
Your looks, talents, and charm
Sadly you say things that’s not true
About me which sends out a big alarm

I don’t know you well enough, I guess
In love with a mystery
Maybe it was all too soon I confess
Not in love with misery

Misery loves company
Only if they knew who that was
They may over talk but at least it’s something

money does bring happiness until it runs out but the memories are priceless

Masks can be great. We have been told that masks saves lives. Basically it’s not for you but the other person. Do you really want government mandated face masks?  When I think of this concept, I think of condoms. It saves lives. It’s not for you but the other person.

If we allow government control then who is free?  I don’t want the government busting in and citing while in the act of no one’s business.
Mandated cover ups?  I’m sure there is many government cover ups. They don’t include what impacts us as a society.

Belt up or fine up, mask up or pay up, or **** up and chop up.

Let the government decide right?

When the devil lies
I must regret
But when angels lies
On a silhouette
The devil flies and minds all set
Because when an angel lies
We already dead

truth always hurts and lies always kills
*****’s run at the last minutes bills

Give me give me give me
Says the mini mini ******

Something for nothing always for nothing
Sunrise at poison for my reasons

Truth kills and lies hurts tell that ***** end of the last thrills

Me me me says the weeni weeni

Sometimes I really just don’t give a ****. Has nothing to do about me but family or people I know.  It’s not like I hate them or anything. It’s just that I’m sick of them and tired of their crap. I love them to death and always will, but I can’t stand them. So since we are looking at the holidays coming up, it seems so freakin frightening.

Why can’t I have a nice and joyful holiday by my freakin self without ******* and being pulled into ******* drama that has nothing to do with me?  It does come in stages. If you are already nervous or upset about something, then you already went through the first stage.

The second stage is like the first until you are like I’ve done this before. You can make go of the other stages because it may or may not get better. Whatever may be, it’s still magical holidays. Family is what you make of it. Family is also what you do have. Close friends are so part of family too, no matter what anyone says.

If you decide to go along with the Jerry Springer special in your household or the Days of Our Lives even though we never seen that show, it’s your freakin choice to do so. You know what?  Let’s be busy having fun with our game nights, festivities and welcoming the fall pumpkin.

Food downstairs
While screams for food upstairs

Food is over here
Come over, come now
Empty pantries

Survival is for the surviving
Keep on moving, scavenging, forging , hallucinating

Food upstairs
Downstairs was invited

Do you really think of your children, do you really think of our children?

Out of my home at 18 and never be seen
Good bye so long as long as you’re gone

Just remember I get older
Just remember me

Time seem darker
Time goes faster
Yesterday was brighter
Today was a disaster

Death is expected
No one wants to see loved ones gone

You want to be the one who goes instead,
But

Someone has to be here to make sure
The little ones have a chance to live and be strong

Not your turn yet but
Someone must roll the dice
Hop, skip, and step twice
It’s the game of life

***** the rules
I chose not to live by them

Drinking under age
Smoking in my home
It was all mine

My house, my home
Love you too
Please leave me alone

I’ll learn the rules outside

Here’s a resolution to your solution
Yesterday came and play
Worried all about tomorrow

Today all in your sorrow

A New Year, a better year
Make a resolution, pay all my restitutions
New me, better me, nothing to fear

Yesterday came and play
Worried all about tomorrow

Laying all here in all sorrow

Nothing about this year made a better tomorrow
A resolution was a solution yesterday
Played all day then watched the sun as it fade
The solution is never a resolution of tomorrow
Since it seems to all fill up with dramatic sorrow

New year, new day, what’s the resolution or the solution?

Simply starts with Today

The Devil has taken control. The Devil causes fear so that the Devil can take over. In that fear, man gives into the Devil. The Devil wins when he takes control. In the Devil’s control comes turmoil, chaos and death. Man should stand up and have no fear but Man forgot faith.

The big city is beautiful
All the lights so bright and plentiful
Sadly the natives can’t live there
Because of costs and politics, just not fair

Growing up there was my life
I went bicycling all over town to town
Cost kept rising and pocketbook sliced
Mom took me and sis as we both frowned

Everyone loves my home and state
I can’t blame them, it’s California and the Golden Gate

The big city is beautiful
Not as beautiful as the man I met
He was a native to a beautiful home
As a child from promises that weren’t kept

His father was a prisoner of war long ago
The United States kept a promise
A father made a new life here in a beautiful state that is open to all
This father Ukrainian died not long ago

Maybe United States kept their promise
California is a state of their own
Who took in many and forgot some
Now a native from a father who was given promises
Can’t return home to the life he once owned

A little house was shared
Up on a little street on a mountain
Homemade items were made and cherished

On that high mountain road
Travelers must go by slow
Only the locals know that *****
Many travelers can be found below

From long ago

Homemade items made today
From a little street upon a mountain
Shared in a little house that had been vanished

We should be good to the planet?  Evil and good live here. Maybe the planet is our parent.

Never such thing as a perfect person.
Never have to be to be a great parent.

Says no one at all but all will say

Gimme this, gimme that, gimme gimme
All you got

Brother is a *****, sister is too
Parents don’t care if they are ready knew

You have a friend that is f’uck’d up too

Don’t get me started on what’s inside of you

Moms are dads, dads are wives, nobody cares about all of that

Marriages been the devil
Because divorce pays double

Equality fun, get it lethal
Get it past fast
I’m sure there’s an app for that

Planet Earth, Mother Earth, possibly Father Earth
Or Earth on its own

We tried to be good, we tried to be happy, we tried to find the solutions

We know you will be the evolution

Richer get richer
Poorer get poorer

Richer get weaker
Poorer get stronger

Richer become worried
Poorer become warriors

Poorer get richer
Richer get poorer

Medium in between
Is the cycling machines

I would never hurt you the way you hurt me

I loved you very much and would had done anything for you

It was love at first sight or it was for me
You were charming and I had money

It was a trip of a lifetime, wish it never end
California where I was from too
Met in positive ways from a mutual friend
Davis and Suisun City seemed to match
Meeting from Greensboro to kernersville

Only loved my address, loved your ***
Loved all you can drink wine and trips
Money runs dry, just like wine and sips
How dare you take over my life and be me

Thought I had a man and just got a *****
One that claims assault while laughing
***** remember the cameras were recording

This ***** is more man than you will be
Meal ticket already expired
Sure that mad dog expects his 50/50

Took advantage when I didn’t see it
Not as stupid as you thought I was
Finding out more about you makes me sick
Computer genius you were
Keeping everyone’s information
When you were working as a tech guy
Then again you were unemployed with me
******* ******* *******
Russian ******* hacker
Not even a hacker but a new age peeping Tom.
Hard drives hard drives
You don’t know how to drive one hard

It’s all Hell to me
Your truth, their truth it’s all lies to me

Hers truth, his truth it’s all lies to me

The truth my Hell  It’s all Hell to me

Your hell, their Hell it’s all Hell to me
Her hell, his Hell it’s all Hell to me

Your lies, their lies it’s all truth to you

Her lies, his lies it’s all truth to them
The lies are Hell but it’s all truth to you

I’m scared
I know there is a path for me
It’s never been fair for many

The path was always there
Many walked down it
Some almost took it

They were scared
Some knew the path was for them
Still wasn’t fair for many

Many will be scared
Many will take the path
It will still never be fair

Talking and communicating
If only both were passionate
Many talk but no communication

Compassion is not in the talk
Just communication as the talk
No one listens anyways, just hears talk

Keep on talking because communication
Is lost

Many listen but don’t hear because
They can’t communicate
Those that hear don’t listen because it’s all talk and no communication

No passion, compassion, just words
The ones who suffer are the ones that listens

Asking for a friend and need a public opinion

An elderly woman that was sick and a patient at a hospital in a hospice care situation that happens to be ran by that elderly woman’s daughter, was admitted. The daughter of the hospital calls an attorney to have a will drawn up and forces her mother to sign that will, with holding her medicine under hospice care to sign that will. The elderly woman dies less than 3 days later.

Life goes by fast
If you only pay attention to the flickering

Life can go much slower
If you become the one that flickers

Life will go on
Life will move on
Life is you and me too

Listen to what I say
What I’m telling is the truth
Don’t look away because what I say is truth
Hear what I say is what you like
Hear what I’m doing is your heart
Hear what I say is what you do
Read what I wrote is the truth
Read it and say how much you love me
Read it and know it’s the truth
Be with me and you will see
It’s just you and me and the end thee
Listen to me and read with me
What you read will be with thee
Thee is what you are with me
You help me to end thee

I rather be alone with me, myself and I any day than the wrong people for me which consists of : the stupid, the lazy, *******, hypocrites, criminals, and that’s just a short list. Sometimes I just check in on the stupid to see what they are saying just for laughs. Usually the news networks but I know I can be lazy but more than one lazy in a group gets upsetting. Then that makes me want to break out into something that I don’t want to be. Then again a little crazy isn’t bad but it’s not on my short or long list. Then again many people are just wrong for me. That’s alright because me, myself and I are never alone.

I really want to hate you
But really I had moved on
You can move on too

I really hate visiting the same place
Being dragged on is no fun
All the great things if we had space
The adventure had been done

only end is between me and you
Dark horrible places take spaces
Something we both hate so why go
We seen much prettier places

Fifty bees fly by and in the sky
Finding a new life and to decide
Deciding if pollination is predication

Show no stings and fly with wings
Let it all go and live life and be happy
That’s how it should all be until the
Fat lady sings