The big city is beautiful
Not as beautiful as the man I met
He was a native to a beautiful home
As a child from promises that weren’t kept

His father was a prisoner of war long ago
The United States kept a promise
A father made a new life here in a beautiful state that is open to all
This father Ukrainian died not long ago

Maybe United States kept their promise
California is a state of their own
Who took in many and forgot some
Now a native from a father who was given promises
Can’t return home to the life he once owned

Pay me because I will tell them what you want them to hear. I’m surreptitious and I am fast. My message from you to them will always last.  Why you ask?  Here’s my resume and my experience is that I’ve been around and they are vacuous but still listening to cretinous bovines while taking their selfies as if everything is fine as wine. The price you pay is the price you get. Just remember I never accept any checks at all because your *** can’t turn them into cash. I’m just asking for a simple percentage of your vintage and all will be. Whom am I you ask?  Well I’m the Risk sent from you to me.

I got bored again or actually sleep deprived. Remember those times as a kid that it was cool to stay up late and never sleep?  No wonder as teenagers we all wanted to stay home and sleep. Actually the most sleepy people were teens of my age at that time. Today I would love to be sleepy. Even when I’m tired I can’t really sleep these days. Maybe it’s all the ******* we have to encounter on a daily basis. Funny how ****** up on how online stores try to sell you on their ******* miracle stress ads. Stress the number one killer being in their title. I’m like ***** really? Because ******* like this is the number one killer. Reading lies on a day to day basis does **** don’t you think?  Don’t get me tangled into that ******* political propaganda ******* that everyone is involved in. Because I really don’t give a ****. All that crapola is another way of killing you off early. I don’t care who said what and how either. ******* and screaming and having parties with balloons, pizza and ***** won’t solve anything. Stressing out over something is killing us all.  Not just us but it’s invading our tv shows, movies and sanity. ***** our expensive *** televisions, computers, and internet all together. Throwing all that money away when we could buy a bicycle or **** *** **** to wear as we walk as far as our legs will allow us to. The best experiences in life for me was getting the **** out of my house and enjoy the outdoors. Then again I did have a car reposed. So I really didn’t have a choice. But I’m glad that took that ugly *** car. Many of my best adult memories was walking and taking the city bus when available. I didn’t realize how much **** I was missing out on. Little stores or art pieces to beautiful scenery that was always there but was blind because I was behind a wheel with speeding ******* that love their horns or didn’t know how to drive to where I was put into a position to keep myself and any occupants with me alive. Maybe they need to sleep too.

I dreamed you died
Hadn’t thought about you in a while
To me you had been gone
In reality I know you been alive

I’ll never understand, never will
All the lies and everything you said
Just unblocked you and to see that smile
Should had kept you blocked and be done

I dreamed you died
Small piece of my heart cares
Love for someone don’t go and disappear
You can make it happen so easy
Talk as everything is great, sharing pictures as nothing is wrong but that’s you and it’s ******

I dreamed you died
As a small inner child, I cried
I’ll never be the same ever again
The betrayal, arrogance, distance
Hope you found yourself and your wealth

You died in my dream but your death was in my life

A man that is committed to turn a **** hole into a kingdom is much more attractive than a man that moves into a kingdom

Blood, sweat, tears into a **** hole is dedication

Changing, organizing, and decorating an established kingdom is indifference

A true man is a good builder
A good man would respect his creation

Any man can move into a building
A bad man would crumble the foundation

Fish bowls fish bowls

One day this fish was livin in her bowl
With mom and dad until the day that
It was time to leave the fish bowl


Then little girl grown out of the fish bowl
Started swimming into other bowls and
Much turf and rigid waters with surf
Landed a much bigger fish bowl

Till the day she needed her fishbowl

***** the rules
I chose not to live by them

Drinking under age
Smoking in my home
It was all mine

My house, my home
Love you too
Please leave me alone

I’ll learn the rules outside

If you think the resolution to your solution is to sit in delusion then you will end up with that ends conclusion

The big city is beautiful
All the lights so bright and plentiful
Sadly the natives can’t live there
Because of costs and politics, just not fair

Growing up there was my life
I went bicycling all over town to town
Cost kept rising and pocketbook sliced
Mom took me and sis as we both frowned

Everyone loves my home and state
I can’t blame them, it’s California and the Golden Gate

Pay me because I will tell them what you want them to hear. I’m surreptitious and very fast. My message from you to them will always last. Why you ask?  Experience surpass because people are vacuous, still listening to cretinous bovines, while taking their selfies. They think everything is fine. I’ll take your dime if negotiations are prime.  Always worked every time. Hell in the end it becomes mine. Here’s where you sign…..

I left taking two American history classes in college with the outcome feeling like I should be ashamed of America.

The only time I’ve ever felt shamed of America is in the last few years starting in 2020.

America has had many choices to make since its beginning. There’s many choices that you have to make in everyday life, including hard and difficult choices even those that you don’t want to have to make but you have no choice.

If America was to burn down entirely and crumble to the ground and if it was left to many American survivors then barbaric choices would be back on the table just like the founders had to deal with.

Desperate times means desperate measures and everyone suffers.  Who’s going to volunteer to clean up the burnt ground and start building without compensation?  

I don’t believe America was already built when it started to buy people overseas to enslave them for work. I don’t believe America was very rich and wealthy when they had to make these horrible and desperate decisions.  

Without these difficult and terrible decisions then no one would had been freed.

No one was free without the difficult decisions with the choices that were made.

Some made bad decisions
Some made good decisions
They were theirs to make

No revisions to make
No decisions a mistake

Some good, some bad
Many more to be had

Salutations salutations
Especially to those indecision’s
That end into evaluations

No decisions to make
No revisions a mistake

On January 25 of this year there was a awful occurrence that did happen. I called the police to do a welfare check on my boyfriend. It was during those freezing temperatures. I have video of the whole occurrence. I was arrested that morning due to simple assault, but was later let go and was told they didn’t want anymore calls. But later turned to be untrue. There is more video, but as embarrassing this is I don’t want to show it until the authorities of my case have seen it all. The officers that were called are on the video as well. They arrested me that night, but decided not to. I did receive a knock at my door on Friday 1, 2019. The same male officer along with an unknown black female officer came. They had an arrest warrant on me. It was Friday night and everyone was asleep and I was about to go off too. I answered the door and they came in and to my surprise they said they were there to arrest me. The female officer asked many times if we were smoking drugs upstairs and if I was on something. Anyone that knows me, knows I don’t do stuff like that. The arrest warrant was taken on the 26 of January. Signed by a judge in high Point and the claimant is unknown, but says SL stark of Greensboro police department. They got me on a Friday night because of statue G.S. 15-A-534. Meaning that they will try for a real judge to decide on a bond instead of a magistrate. They can’t hold no one for 48 hours legally without a bond. Injustice was done. I do have more evidence of this.

I found a secret
It was on the side of the road
Busted up and fixed to upload

Many secrets were handed back
Security checks must be had

All in your device
Security was just a joke
All in the hands of hacker the bloke

We are all on the Spectrum

Biology is the history of the making

Science is the educated guess of the present

Chemistry is the only Data that is relevant

Psychology is to blame

money does bring happiness until it runs out but the memories are priceless

Can’t control what ******* do
But I will speak my mind

Happiness is a whole, not a hole
It’s in your heart or mind

Memories don’t cost a thing until it runs
Blank, but money can’t buy more, priceless

truth always hurts and lies always kills
*****’s run at the last minutes bills

Give me give me give me
Says the mini mini ******

Something for nothing always for nothing
Sunrise at poison for my reasons

Truth kills and lies hurts tell that ***** end of the last thrills

Me me me says the weeni weeni

Dreamed about my favorite flip flops
They were jelly and sparkly with gold
Then I lost them
All of a sudden glass shattered everywhere
Picking pieces of glass out of me
All there at the big humongous thrift store
Looking for a refrigerator
But one was gross
Still looking everywhere for my jelly’s
Then some how ended up in a inside
Water slide park
Did get stuck and under water
Where where were my jelly’s

Asking for a friend and need a public opinion

An elderly woman that was sick and a patient at a hospital in a hospice care situation that happens to be ran by that elderly woman’s daughter, was admitted. The daughter of the hospital calls an attorney to have a will drawn up and forces her mother to sign that will, with holding her medicine under hospice care to sign that will. The elderly woman dies less than 3 days later.

Talking and communicating
If only both were passionate
Many talk but no communication

Compassion is not in the talk
Just communication as the talk
No one listens anyways, just hears talk

Keep on talking because communication
Is lost

Many listen but don’t hear because
They can’t communicate
Those that hear don’t listen because it’s all talk and no communication

No passion, compassion, just words
The ones who suffer are the ones that listens

Death is expected
No one wants to see loved ones gone

You want to be the one who goes instead,
But

Someone has to be here to make sure
The little ones have a chance to live and be strong

Not your turn yet but
Someone must roll the dice
Hop, skip, and step twice
It’s the game of life

Wake up
Mr, Mrs, Ms., Miss, and non binary,

We are only so loud.
We only scream democratic because only to show you our power. We dislike Liberal Hippocrates and know the unjustly system.  You failed to see us as equal Conservatives.

Democracy doesn’t equal Democrat-sey.  Democracy should be conserved as conservancy to my nightly nightie.

Vote Caitlyn Jenner

I rather be alone with me, myself and I any day than the wrong people for me which consists of : the stupid, the lazy, *******, hypocrites, criminals, and that’s just a short list. Sometimes I just check in on the stupid to see what they are saying just for laughs. Usually the news networks but I know I can be lazy but more than one lazy in a group gets upsetting. Then that makes me want to break out into something that I don’t want to be. Then again a little crazy isn’t bad but it’s not on my short or long list. Then again many people are just wrong for me. That’s alright because me, myself and I are never alone.

I can remember your face. The sun shining bright and your smile.

I wanted to hold you and hug you like we once before

You are gone now and miss you much
We had beautiful times and it’s been a while

Remembering your beautiful smile and I lost you again once more

Some had sold their souls to the devil
Some had let the devil in without knowing in the beginning

Some how the devil always hides and chooses those that are not wise
Stepping stones is what he relies

Because the weak is what he seeks for his deceit

He gets in and reels a little deep
Once he’s in there, then buyer beware
No one looks back, nothing to care

Whose the devil you ask
Could be me, could be you or someone close using you at his dispose

The devil isn’t stupid, I give him props
He fooled me several times
All the way to tops he went

Life can’t grow crops with the devil ******* all the drops
Doubt leads to draught

The devil came in and took it all away
He blames and shames everyone with his game.
He tells you one thing and someone else another
Just for you to get mad at your brother
He doesn’t want love for one and other

Devil came this far from the beginning
Yet you keep him winning

No lives matter because the devil took your mother, brother, father, sister, children and more

We all were related in love from up above and the devil came in and lied to all until you killed us all.

Amen to all the lives you think that should matter

Waking up is too hard to do
Moving on and the day is too much
Billion things are needed and I can’t do one
Can’t do one
If I can’t do one then nothing won’t be done
Because getting nothing done for one is no fun

If only I can do more
Then no more worries would happen at all
Then this day could be lived happily after all and never more
Days waking up like this anymore

I’ve been through a lot. Been told I could write a book. To be honest I couldn’t remember all that ****. One thing is I do remember what does stand out. I guess is to where the beginning happens and where it ends off.

I honestly don’t know where to begin. Not like you want to know me. Who the **** are you too?  You know what?  ******* too. Since we are well aquatinted now then maybe we do know each other.

How are you and how you been?  I’m great. Could be better but you know. **** happens all the time. Yea I heard about your **** too. That’s *****. Pretty ****** up man. I hear that **** all the time dude.

I guess you heard all my **** too?  Yeah. Pretty much. No one has nothing better to do but to post up garbage. I don’t really care though. Anyone who knows me would know better.

I don’t think I like people much. I feel like pulling my hair out. Terrible things happen all the time but you have to find a way through them. I’ve been ******* on, yelled and screamed at, cussed and ****** on.

Sometimes the **** was consensual. Hey what ever floats your boat. Not like I would judge you for any excursions. If it makes you happy and it’s legal nor lethal, go for it. Life really is short.

Turns out that I really don’t like writing and I get bored. I’m bored now. I don’t even want to high light or discuss what I said earlier. Not an Indian giver, just hate going through ****. Thoughts and detail do hurt.

Blah blah blah.  So don’t you ever ask yourself how in the hell did I end up here?  Is it just me or did we all just **** up?  There is always a reason why our lives ended up the way they did. I didn’t ******* put you there but maybe you came along for the ride. I rode along with plenty of strangers here and there.

Strangers are never quite as they seem. If anything they make up about 90 percent of our existence. I **** you not on that one. Your bestie or pal or whoever you are ******* or ******* right now only makes up one percent. Strangers is who we are and the most forgotten of all people in the world. You remember that cool *** party when you’re underage but don’t remember the driver? Maybe the supplier?  **** maybe that cashier that made it all possible even though they knew ****** better?

Either or you get it. You should because the people who you know are surround with haven’t always been on that life’s journey or ride with you. We tend to forget all the insignificant people that made our lives what they are now. We make our own choices but sometimes a commercial in between does tweak us and yes strangers do fit in between that.

Do you actually remember a great stranger experience?  Please let me know if you do. I have very many of them. Many pleasurable and many scary and down right wrong. What’s yours?

Everything and everyone
That was good
Was taken away

Things are possessions
With memories of great impressions
Of the past before it was taken
Years of long learned lessons  

No person, not one can be replaced
Not a day goes by
Memories will replay and stay

They were good
They were good

Now that things were forgotten
Those lovely possessions of lessons
Brings all of those years that were taken
To everyone and everything

No person, not one can be replaced
Not a day goes by
Memories will all be here to stay

They were good They were good

Fish bowls fish bowls

One day this fish was livin in her bowl
With mom and dad until the day that
It was time to leave the fish bowl


Then little girl grown out of the fish bowl
Started swimming into other bowls and
Much turf and rigid waters with surf
Landed a much bigger fish bowl

Till the day she needed her fishbowl

All the broken winged children will still fly
Their past, fears, cries, pains and torment

Will never happen to them no more
Moms, dads, uncles and aunts
Are upset because they left them

Free as the wind, depending how it flies
Broken wings can only go so far
They learned from past, cries, pains, and torment

Broken wings could heal but not for some.
How far was their destination?
Where did they come from?
Not from fears, cries, pains and torment

Still the broken winged children fly today.

I’m unhappy and sad
But
Very happy and glad

Scared to see the end
But
Fight for every breath within

Surprise panic attacks
While trying to concentrate
And relax

Fighting everyday to live
I’m fighting everyday to live
Trying everyday to really live

Food downstairs
While screams for food upstairs

Food is over here
Come over, come now
Empty pantries

Survival is for the surviving
Keep on moving, scavenging, forging , hallucinating

Food upstairs
Downstairs was invited

The cat don’t lie
Those that do blow in the wind
Lions know the truth
Watch how the dicots fly
Liars can’t blend
As the wind sends them to the roof
Monocot seeds die alone
As the dicots stand strong alive

Masks can be great. We have been told that masks saves lives. Basically it’s not for you but the other person. Do you really want government mandated face masks?  When I think of this concept, I think of condoms. It saves lives. It’s not for you but the other person.

If we allow government control then who is free?  I don’t want the government busting in and citing while in the act of no one’s business.
Mandated cover ups?  I’m sure there is many government cover ups. They don’t include what impacts us as a society.

Belt up or fine up, mask up or pay up, or **** up and chop up.

Let the government decide right?

I don’t know how you feel
I don’t know how you think

Maybe I disagree
Maybe I already made up my mind

Do you know how I feel
Do you know my thoughts

Maybe you disagree
Maybe you had made up your mind

I thought I knew you
But now you scare me

I don’t know where you came from
Only the basic information

Thought of us made so much sense
Now everything doesn’t make any at all

I understand now
I really don’t know much of you

Many years together
With the perfect stranger

Strangers are no good you see
Keep everything hidden inside
Locked down, sealed and tight

Try to unlock the latch and bleed
Much more hidden all behind
Map ends here, love seeks and hide

Incarcerated without a reason
Treated like a criminal
Forced to eat the inedible
All amongst those that are incriminable

Friends no way, give them a look to go away
One though I would associate with
No English, small petite

Criminated and associated
All for not guilty verdicts
But the officials want the innocent
That were charged and vindicated

Hope eventually dies
Even those with the same name will pass
Hope is good to hold onto
Unless she’s gone too

Hoping for something
are just wishes
Wishes are just hopes for
those with hope

Hope will live on
Even those newly born will live on
Hope is good to hold onto
Unless she does not want you to

I’m a liar
I’m a cheat
I’m a no good dead beat

Why don’t you just leave?
You say you hate me
Even wished I was dead

Your friends say I’m no good
That I’m just a user and a crackhead from the hood

Why don’t you just shut the hell up?
Just leave me be
Afraid to be alone?
And everyone says I’m the messed up
But it was always you
Don’t you see?

Sometimes it takes a disaster to unite. In the disaster you learn who was there for you. Disasters come with great change in hopes to renew for a better future. Not always because it’s never an excuse for what was done wrong in the first place. Disasters do bring in some form of peace and humanity to where a truss shall form. We are all human afterall.

The Devil has taken control. The Devil causes fear so that the Devil can take over. In that fear, man gives into the Devil. The Devil wins when he takes control. In the Devil’s control comes turmoil, chaos and death. Man should stand up and have no fear but Man forgot faith.