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Pretend Poetry Mar 2021
I could have done more.
If I had started 5 years ago I would have the resources that I lack now.
I didn't know this was going to happen.
It is likely to happen again.

- V.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
I had catch myself thinking of you,
a different version of you.
This is not bad.
Authenticity is your flag,
and this attracts me in a way
I can´t imagine in my dreams.
So you forced me to feel the reality
and I feel.
I feel all the colors of the colorful raindrops
Because we dance in the rain without caring
how dark we are.

-  A.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
i´m anxious
to write
about anxiety
but
everytime
I
try
I get even more anxious.

- V.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
I'm a little high
And you don´t stop staring at me.
Do you want to ask me questions?
Just because I can´t hide my reactions now ...

i'm hoping don't remember this night.

- V.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
I just want to rip or erase everything I have been done.
Disappear for awhile.
"You have to show your presence",
I heard this once
and I used to think that way
But  I wanna a fresh start.

Every day I look back
I'm different from the day before
I know
I'm unstable
That´s what keep me alive.

I am between thoughts that used to represent me or nothing.

- A.
Pretend Poetry May 2019
I used to be complete
I had poetry crave in my soul.
I was writing words and I feeling heard
I was a shout,a voice.
I had a philosophy to explain my own existence
Even though sometimes
I was confused if it was just a literary delirium.
I´ve been thinking too much
I set my heart on the intense love
But i have not been fight back against the violence.
So i feel empty
While I hope I go back to poetry, trying to find my way back home.

-A.
Pretend Poetry Mar 2021
This cycle is addictive.
I stopped in my teens and everything that happens seems to be related to what I was struggling with at the time.
It has been years since I left but I use the pleasures to mask the feeling of failure.
I use it, I feel good, the feeling is back.
I feel deluded, desperate to write my story again.

-A.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
E motions
X enophobia
H umans
A nxiety
U niverse
S ecrets
T ime
E excuses
D istance

To fight with...

- V.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
I get confusion.
I used to think the end has to perfect,
So i really have work out during life,
Everything has to be explained,
to others in future
Understand exactly was in my mind
unlike that
life is too ephemeral
My efforts insist on being deep
and I´m fight with my mind.
i just want let it go
everything without the answers
but
I´m paralyzed.
my heartbeat is in my throat.
It´s all about my incompetence.
I have all the tools
and I lost time questioning myself
who am i ?
do i deserve my existence ?

- A.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
For a while
I was silenced
by me
for all
but I'm back
To write about.
Shameless.

-V.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
Since I was little I've been interested in games.
All of them.
Let's say I'm a good player.
It was exciting to find a master to confront,

I like a messy game,
I don´t think you had seen anything like it.

But this game has gotten a little hard to keep
when you want something more real.
Maybe I'll leave the board,
You will won and continue to play with others.

The interest game is not too interest
to people like me
Maybe I still have feelings, you know?

- V.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
I saw photos of you on the phone.
and at the same time I was hoping to have the answers.
I spent a lot of time checking my phone
Wondering what was going on around you.

I got it
you were having fun with your friends while you ignored me, right?

So I put the music highest i could

"At first, I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live
Without you by my side

And I spent, oh, so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry

Weren't you the one
Who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?

But now I'm savin' all my lovin'
For someone who's lovin' me!

Well, now go! Walk out the door!
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore!"

I survived

- V.
Pretend Poetry May 2019
Time has not given me a truce.
I wonder when was the last time I said pretty things?
All these awful things destroy me to the bottom.
I has been droping tears on the floor waiting that I feel all again.
I see your photos on parties with all your friends.
They used to be mine too.
I check my phone and nothing new but I look one more time.
I´m useless,no one is there.
I´m alone.
It's so obvious how much I need attention.
I´ll fit this.
I´m dancing and laughing,
I dance very badly,
I have wear my best dress,
A red lipstick in my lips
And I spent hours looking at myself in front of the mirror.
This my time.
Just me.
Talking about myself.
Writing about it.
I´m pride talking I´m pretty .
No one can drag me down today.

- V.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
I never noticed
if people cry like I do
or  
if they expect a phone call,
when they are lone.

I'm waiting for a call
tonight,
any invitation to take away
my hopelessness.
I can't sleep anymore.

No one called me.

I'm thinking about throwing up
your words,
all night,
instead of waiting for others.

With a glass of wine
i ´ll celebrate my own company.

I was sick,
maybe
the cause was you.

- A.
Pretend Poetry May 2019
Echoes in head: the successful thing you have to be.
While you sleep,they don´t stop.
You wake up and want back sleep.
Is tiring carry this way.
Did you see the time passing by?
The end has been things that never started during this time.

- V.
Pretend Poetry Jun 2019
It is frustrated to be incapable of finding the words that fit it.
My intimate reflections in a paper had never been written.
My inhuman part could show my empty face.
All I care about it may become a scandal.
So I rarely exposed myself writing atop that.

- A.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
I'm standing
in front of you,
trying to escape from eyes to eyes,
talking nonsense things,

This is how I hide my shame.

We already had a few drinks,
But I'm getting sober again,

Because I want to remember this night.

It's been a while since
I've felt like a real woman,
I'm tired of these empty kisses,
I want your longest kiss,

Show me how it really works.

-A.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
We can have conscience about it,
Our words are weirdly naked,
But not necessarily we believe in them.

You see me with another
and I feel the solemnly entrance of a dark sky
blending in with you
and you walk,
walk away,
far away of me.

Only us can see
the storm
coming
so i won´t hide:
i m been destroyed by the truth lately

- A.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
Appeared wrinkles.
Some hair strands become white.
Over time,the mother became a grandmother.
Vanity set aside,
She didn´t have to get dressed to wait to die.
Had so many many diseases, perhaps ,some not real.
In the terminal signs of life, the remedies, in high doses,
didn´t cure the worst pain: loneliness.
The grandchildren have grown up and no longer came already.
The children visited a little less, pretending it doesn´t fell your pain.
The love was gone.
There are no illusions, jus reality:
The old died of loneliness,
in the asylum,
there was no commotion.

-V.
Pretend Poetry Jan 2019
I wish my universe was big enough
to all people
understand what is in my mind
But my space in small
Just
I
fit in.
Some travelers have already passed here,
long ago,
I still keep cleaning up the mess.

- V.

— The End —