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Paola Bodano Dec 2018
Aveces,  
Quisiera serlo todo,  
Quisiera ser la mejor,
Quisiera tener más,
Y siempre vuelvo
Al recuerdo,
De una pequeña niña
Que no tenia nada
Pero era feliz
Y nada le hacía falta.
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
Concrete bam
Banned thoughts and a wall
Warned by lights
Lit like starts
Streak bam
Panic attack

Ah
Clark’s mad
Adamant’s back
Card
Dollar
Rant
Tat toc tic
Cat  

Track tunnel
Lies, spies,
Zack is hard
**** day
Yay or nay  
You are here to stay.
*Read from top-bottom then bottom-top*
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
let’s embrace constant change,

build Character,
create Happiness,
accept Apperance,
stay Natural,
cultivate Growth,
radiate Energy,
Paola Bodano Jan 2019
I’m like this
But I only find them like that
Because if I go for those like this
It might be too much of this
And none of that

Then I want more of this
Because I get tired of that
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
I tried it all,
I ran
I wrote
I swam
and sunk
I smoked
and flew
only to fall back through
I lied
and hoped
Still nothing
worked
Maybe there's something
for me to do
not yet named of course,
Util then
I'm off to study,
because that's all I must do...

or maybe not

off to fail i go
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
I don’t want to reach the end
And suspect
I could’ve done it all over again
In a different way
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
I'm contained
TRAPPED
In a small
glass box
SCREAMING
for help
seeking my
VOICE
to be heard

FIRE
burns
PASSION
awaits
there's nothing,
I'm being held

I break through
Now I'm on plan
VIEW
I see all the boxes around
ME,
****
there's nothing I can do.

HELP,
smoke comes my way,
SLEEP
tomorrow will be brand new,
maybe a circle will come through.
Paola Bodano Jun 2020
Maybe I’ll come across these words of suffering and incapacitated reasoning when I’m all too well,
when I’ve surpassed years of suffering and I’ve understood what it takes to be a warrior to push everyday,
to be happy.
Maybe one day the day will come,
maybe I’ll make it and cry all along
maybe I won’t
maybe I’ll reach the top and find myself
all alone.
For all I can say is
pain is my greatest power,
pain is a skill, pain is my fire
and it remains with desire to escape,
escape
all along these walls of cry
of laughter
of suffering
of no’s and can’t do’s
of joy and then ... more.


I am killing myself slowly.
I see my potential goal
and I see the waste,
I see myself in the past,
buried in the dust.
I am dying of distrust.
I am extremely lonely.
I am in despair.
The words run through my hands with negative thoughts in the air,
I am suffering,
I am pain,
I am fake,
I hate the love that loves me more than I’ll ever ever love myself
I feel like death.
I feel contained.
Tears are brought to my eyes.
I can no longer survive.
I am pain and my pain is the game,
my pain is the fire in her soul, with tears to the wounds.
I am pain
And no longer strong for the run.
Paola Bodano Jan 2019
I want to live my days in
marathons
& coffee shops

I want to live in an
old 70´s music,
drugs,
*** & alcohol vibe

I want a love so
strong
it makes me
remember and
forget it all
at the same
time

I want to know myself
before anyone claims
me
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
We are all so ahead of our times. Overthinking our futures, planning what 5 years ahead might look like and deceiving ourselves when this long life wanted dream isn’t achieved. So we settle for a what could’ve been, and we tell stories of a parallel life we didn’t live. So what if we died tomorrow, without thinking about today? Without thinking about everyone’s life’s we could’ve touched but didn’t, because we were so bussy living an alternate life. The future is rarely in your hands, that’s why things always go “off track.”
So enjoy, enjoy, learn, and share.
Oct 8 2018 | what is life
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
Honeymoon phase they call it
3 months past, we mock it
Trying to hang, won't they stop it
Nah, I think we'll try as I crawl it

After all, we raise walls
Pick the hammer and its been 6 moths
From cotton ***** to alcohol
Is it even worth to wait this long

Let me run
Please don't go
Listen to your soul

Strike 3, bad calls and a foul ball
9 months way too long
Can't even stand tall...
Paola Bodano Jan 2019
alone
not too far away from home
you lay on the floor
unfocused

FEEL
the air go through
nose and lungs
slowly

LISTEN to
the air leaving your body
and the room’s quiet
noice

Inhale
Exhale
Freedom

Snap into a reality of
Calm troubles and
Meaningful problems
Cured from your own
Mental prison and
Unreasonable madness
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
Talk to me in the morning
When my only focus is
Getting Out
of bed.

When all the pain
of 12 am
is vanished
by sleep & dreams...

When the world
receives me
with it's opportunities
wide open.

When all I want is
coffee, food,
& maybe,
You.

Talk to me when the
good and bad
lay vaguely in my
memory.

And all I have is
You,
right now.

You talk,

I remember,

not for what you are,
but for what you´ve done.
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
It runs faster than
My feet
It won’t let me
Sleep

I panic
Still can’t help
To think
How to render
A strong mind
Weak

It’s 4:15
How will I go about my week
If it’s monday and I still can’t dream

As a child
I couldn’t sit
Eat, focus or read

Now I wonder
What’s wrong with me
Didn’t anyone care to think
I might’ve been too mean

Loneliness reached
Age drove me sick
I can’t help to sink
In a bowl of real world
Missing links

And by the way
Thank you Pink
You really helped me cope
With everyday lists
And unreasonable things
No one cared to teach
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
My wall isn’t white anymore.
My wall is dripping in grey.
All types of greys.
My wall is decaying,
displaying its true grain.
My wall keeps falling,

my wall isn’t my wall anymore.

But the hole in the wall let’s the light through.
I’ll follow the light everywhere I go, because my ground is full of broken walls and I will keep going until I have enough to build an empire on top.
Paola Bodano Jan 2019
Probably in some
Place
I won’t remember

Happiness

High expectations
Paola Bodano Dec 2018
A question of perfection
Is constantly
Raised
Appraised
And ultimately
Erased

Where did it evolve
Where did you grow up
Where did you end up
There’s no correlation
Perfection
Is just a simple categorization

The common equation of
Perfection
Does not apply to
YOU or
ME

WE are all unique
Labels don’t define us
WE have gone through it all
And still seak to represent a fake plus
We are evolving, failing, and progressing.

I AM
YOU ARE
WE ALL ARE our own images of
Perfection.
Paola Bodano Jan 2019
they stay longer
than they go

they’ll always come
and might never go

so as their stay is
inevitable
choose them wisely

i rather stress about
keeping a family strong
than not having one at all
Paola Bodano Jun 2019
Should I follow the proper way?
Because it seems as though the proper way has yet to find me.
Should I mold myself to custom norms and standards?
To find comfort in unminingful friendships…

Should I read the bible?
Should I believe it’s verses?
Does my lack of knowledge serve
more towards their advantage
than it does harm to my personal being.

If the world is round, why have there been
juxtaposition of flat surfaces before me
since my first memory?

If abortion and perjury are deemed wrong,
Why aren’t assumptions and judgements penalized?

Will I go to hell if I die tomorrow?
If I die tomorrow would I be myself today, or would I remain as just the image of my future self,
the one no one ever met.
Paola Bodano Oct 2019
I fear
       her
Steps
Bouncing back
and forth

Getting stronger as they go

Fast approaching
And no place to go

She knocks the door
1 knock
2 knock
BAMMM
the tram is back
Back to rant  

My head is there
Yet it can’t be there
No,
it shouldn’t be hers

I stand up to her
I claim not to care
While my life dares
To get threatened away

No pain, no tears, no showing fears
As my life resumes with college peers

Back I go to no place to go
With hidden doors and unlocked ******
With no love, with no one to hold

A single piece of who I’ve become,
Belongs no where near this “home”
        
          Sorry mom,
I warned you, Now I’ve got to go.

Now is my time to go
Paola Bodano Jun 2019
I see, I hear
Pain all around me

Disguised as make up masks
And multimillion dollar brands

YouTube stars,
Subways rats,

Certainly
Crawling through bars
And poisoned tars.

To end all up on my Instagram.
Paola Bodano Apr 2019
Behind my chair sits a wall
             Behind my wall,
        there
i sit

Hand me a hammer
to break free
& sit comfortably
until i sleep
Paola Bodano Apr 2019
Im tired of loving you from afar
Im tired of not knowing if I’ll ever love you from up close
If I’ll ever have you
If I’ll ever think you’ll be the one
when
there’s no doubt in my mind
that
you are

— The End —