skin like porcelain
eyes like glass
i'm fragile you know?

i break so easily
over and over again
and so far
someone's always come along
to put me back together

but i know that soon enough
there won't be anybody
i'll break one too many times
and they'll all leave
for someone stronger

it's not my fault
it's the way i was made
i know that
and yet i don't

i feel ashamed
of my fragility
why can't i just
be strong?
be durable?
be reliable?

i ask myself
these questions
all day and all night
but i've yet to find
a suitable answer

i suppose
that maybe
fragile things
can't always be fixed

i'm broken
and i think
i won't be able
to be put back together again

the word “no”
holds a power that many don’t quite realize

two letters
one syllable
it’s so simple isn’t it?
and yet that tiny little word
could’ve changed everything

i never said “no”
i didn’t want it
but i didn’t say “no”

so that makes it okay, right?
that makes it my fault
that makes it consensual
that makes it legal
at least that’s what everyone tells me

so why does it still haunt me at night?
and plague me with neverending nightmares

it’s been over a year now
since the last incident
but i still feel it in my skin
i try to scrub off the dirt, the shame, the guilt
but it’s very set on staying

and i know that no matter how much it haunts me
they’ve probably forgotten by now
moved on, are living better lives
they’ll never know the suffering i’ve gone through
they’ll have no repercussions

but it’s all okay
because i never said “no”

we've been flirting for a while now
but i've been a bit too scared of anything more
you leave me wanting more
you tease me
give me a taste of you
but nothing permanent
nothing that lasts

i haven't given into your temptation yet
but as every day goes by
i want you more and more

we dance around each other
a complicated tango for two
but never quite close enough for my taste

i want you forever
it's as if nothing else matters to me anymore
all i can think about is you
you
you
you

i think of the ways
that we could get together
i fantasize about it
during class
during practice
during work
no matter what i'm doing
you're always there
at the back of my mind

should i just give in already?
i desire you so desperately
and i know that you want me too
what's holding us back?

ah, i remember now
i worry what others will think
i worry what others will do
i worry what others will say
but i think that it's time for me
to be a bit selfish

we've been at this for a while now
and i think
that it's finally
time for me
to commit

i'm starting to think
that maybe
i'm unfixable

i'm broken
there's no denying that
but everyone's always told me
"don't give up"
"it gets better"

does it really?
i'm starting to doubt their validity
i'm broken
and i don't think
i'll ever be whole again

what does it mean
to be only a shell
of who i used
to be?

do i even
have purpose
anymore?

i'm starting to think
maybe it's time i give up

give up on myself
give up on my friends
give up on my family
give up on my life

because really
what's the purpose
of being alive
when you can't
feel anything
at all?

you make me feel like i’ve never felt before
i feel special
i feel invincible
i feel strong
but most of all i feel loved
you run your fingers through my hair
and whisper sweet nothings in my ear
you kiss me before you leave and hug me when you come back
with a promise that you’ll always be there

people talk
and they might be right
maybe we’re cliche
maybe we won’t last
maybe we’re going into this way too fast
but maybe
just maybe
they’re wrong

i’ve fallen in love with you
and you’ve fallen in love with me
i don’t know exactly when it happened
or how
but i suppose it was like the coming of dawn
there was darkness
and slowly
ever so slowly
you started to come into my life
you brought colors and light and beauty
you brought me the hope that a new day always seems to bring
with your comforting touches and meaningful gaze
i feel at home

and no, we’re not perfect
far from it actually
but i think that you’re perfect for me
and i for you
you don’t ask me to change
but if i do, i know you’ll love me still

you challenge my mind, make me think in new ways
you don’t do it on purpose
maybe you don’t even realize it
but when i’m with you my eyes are suddenly wide open after a lifetime of being shut

sappy texts in the middle of the night
songs that make us think of each other
secrets that are just between us
sometimes i think maybe i’m crazy for thinking this will last
yet at the same time praying to a god i don’t believe in that it will

these feelings you cause are uncomfortable and new and scary
but at the same time they’re not at all unwelcome
when i’m with you it feels like i’ve just drunk a mug of hot tea on a cold winter day
i can feel it traveling through my body and warming me from the inside out
you make me feel like i don’t need a jacket
(i know you’ll give me yours anyway)

i don’t know a lot of things
but the one thing i know to be my absolute truth
is that i love you