Bathing in the sun
for New Year's
Happy Lucky Love
and then you really
with her at the bar
Unrealistically courteous
approachable even
So, ran out wouldn't
be the first time
So, bumped my head
neither a first
You didn't look
follow hence pushed me
away for a happy new year

want to laugh a lot
want to eat the whole day
want to have five coffees
want to work part time
want to stop eating all the time
want to cry for a week
want to stop feeling desolate
want to start thinking less
want to live in a warm place for a year
want to live in a bare place for another

Don't really care
for your car
Or the blue sail
on your boat
I just wish for one 
with a nice winter coat
dark navy blue sky
dark grey clouds eyes

Walking backwards in my mind
digging in my heels
and eating pears

my dad the best too
taking the world 
from his shoulders
and laughing loudest

happy freckles day
thanks to mum
a curled up nose
and red hair from a box

Thinking about all the wonderful places
beautiful things treasured in my chest 
knowing I'm so so able to do
what I haven't done before

All things true
aren't lies after all

a seat in the quiet coach
where people always need to tell
where they are
or discuss how long potatoes
need to cook
in a way it falls to me
to point out that we want
quiet
for fellow passengers just seem to sit
and stare or is it me
anyway to intervene because
i've got lots of sentences
stored and packed for the occasion
any way.

Pictures of me when two or
three years old reveal
a little white neck stuck out
and lips pouted into
a kiss to just distract
the photographer who
still couldn't resist
this act of sweetness
from this little girl
who is just so
afraid of a camera

So much for saying
a lot without
so much at all
Except of course
that you're gonna ask
the ex-wife to buy you
a plane ticket
so you can come over
to see me
So much.