I have never seen someone so patient
and biding to
hurt another person so badly
tracking down and retaliate
on the street in a meeting
anywhere to get back
anywhere to ridicule and belittle
you even told me once about your colleague
with such joy - assurance even
that I could not believe and
stopped to utter that you'd never change,
wouldn't you.
And even your little smile was full of pride.
And even the getting what he deserves
you believed.

For all the sweetness I
give and the caring I do can
you just for once
let me be mean x ugly?

Don't need songs that tell me
I need to take it easy
or that without us no cry
Please touch my uneasiness with the day
my melancholy and
my urge to jump
A room on fire or that
you belong to me
will suffice.

no time to take of his coat
to put away his briefcase or hat
she just sat there at the kitchen table and
looked with the saddest eyes
he unbottoned
got his gin
she threw her ring on the kitchen floor
looked at the plates and the stove
she hadn't cleaned
and all the years
fell down

nothing more than to feel secure
about herself, and free
to run to the water and not
feel her own body or
other eyes looking
moving away and into
the opposite of being noticed
what she does want too
walking past a terrace
her summer dress and long legs
hidden under the drape
warmth through the windows
tinkling through the open door
enough friendly people to
sit alongside too

is
to just start writing
and then
replace the I for she,
that's it.

In a sudden silly moment
of madness
she thought she should
be able to tell the truth to
the one she loves
Flat on the table
a loud bang, his cup
jumping up from its saucer  
rolling off away
He had no intention to go
though
and she was paralysed anyway
like she is and always will be
when someone's so so mad.