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Turoa Oct 2020
I’m still here

Still driving
Still pushing
Still fighting

And that’s the worst part
Sometimes

Yet I’m still here
And here I’ll stay
As long as it takes..

Until that that final note is played
A final sunrise that heralds
My night watches end
One more beautiful day

There’s still hope
Turoa Oct 2020
I came to a door
To visit once again
To almost feel warmth
Happiness, therein.

But I’ll return again,
And again turn
To spur saddle and thorn
That none come to fear me
None can my name mourn

Selfishness or not
I turn to darkness once more
Preserving that hope ever present
Held just out of reach,
The shadow of a whisper
An unknown presence
On the far side of a door.
Turoa Nov 2019
I wish I had a coat of silk, the color of the sky.
I wish I had a lady fair, as any butterfly
I wish I had a house of stone that looked down on the sea
But most of all I wish that I was someone else but me.

(Madeleine cheers up Gonzo)

Now I don't have a coat of silk, but still I have the sky
Now I don't have a lady, but there goes a butterfly
Now I don't have a house of stone, but I can see the sea
Now most of all I know that I am happy to be me.
I'm happy to be me.
A song by Gonzo the Great
Turoa Nov 2019
Happiness I've found
Crossing seas mountains and skies
For the simplicity of feeling
A future in your eyes
Together we'd suffer ecstacy
Pain, passion, exquisite tears
Longing, but no longer alone
Between a kiss spanning years
Turoa Oct 2019
He came to me for solace
Relief
Shelter from pain
He thought he'd found brotherhood
Companionship
A means to shed
One's own shame

But instead he found me
Bitter honesty, truthful but cold
Like raw ore to the smith
In my care
He will suffer
Before he is gold

I stole something from you today
Something you'll very soon know
The last temptation of relief
That iron grip on control
The great escape
Your last thread of hope

You'll think I've betrayed you
Wrong or right I don't know
But in its place I've left something
One more day
To live
One more day
To grow

Perhaps I will fail you,
I honestly don't know
We are not that different, you and I
To you perhaps we are
To me, I don't think so

But you will understand
What I said when we met,
What I think and believe,
My reasons, my friend
Unravel, unweave

Pieces of the picture
You'll see in due time
When we met
You said, my hands are *****,
And now see why I said,
So are mine.
I had an experience today, a friend of mine, a vet whose lost a lot recently.. I know the average a few years ago was 22 veteran suicides per year and I can only assume that's grown. Please be cognizant of others and the battles each individual faces, look out for your brother's in arms and don't be afraid to do the right thing if it gets the help they need.
A misplaced firing pin and a wellplaced phone call might be all it takes.
Turoa Sep 2019
I Ponder the words
     Oher writers have wrote,
To speak volumes in syllables
Understand feelings in notes

I wonder can I compare
To the madness of Poe
Share the wonder of Silverstein,
Shelley's monstrous despair,
Or the screams of Van Gogh?

Can I write myself Treetops  
Frost's trails traveled by
Could I create my own Iliad
Command with Tennyson  
Or on Stoker's bat wings rise,

I am no one too many
Someone too few,
Though my voice is unheard
       Painful my artform,
Enduring shall try
Paint pattern and scribe
My spark in the darkness
The dream I'll pursue.
Turoa Sep 2019
With people
The only question that matters
What else can there be
Besides our feeble perceptions
Asking us
What I am to you,
And
What are you to me?
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