On
as a radio
playing soft
and sweet
I danced to the notes
hanging on the door
until the song
stopped

He turned
Off
as a light switch
in the dark
not even a shadow
for a friend
blackness engulfing him

He turned
On
with a blast
as electric beater
scattering the batter
up the sides
and over
sticking to the cabinets
and counters

He turned
Off
the side of the road
dropped to the ground
and rolled

He turned
On
as merry-go-round
I, rode the horse
holding tightly the pole
sliding up
and down
without letting go

oxygen
as the cord
wrapped tightly around her neck
like a python. She, a girl
was not pink. She came out
blue from the beginning.

She lost her
core
after her mother plucked
her petals
falling to the floor
swept up
with the dust
like a piece of furniture

She lost her
softness
after she was pounded
as a pillow
all the goose feathers
flying in the air
the stuffing knocked out
of her
like the Thanksgiving turkey
minus the gravy

She lost her
father
to schizophrenia
at age two
he to woman,
gambling
and *****

She lost her
stuffed rabbit
she had a habit
of leaving things
behind
like friends
and jobs
and memories

she blocked out
no shade of blackness
light only makes things grey

from the sting
of forcefully squeezing out
into the light
after the thirty-six
hour birth

They dried
from laying in the plastic box
the doctor called an incubator
no rhythm
of a mother’s drum
a swaddle around my middle
not arms
the cold stare
of the tired overnight nurse

They dried
from begging her
to stop
the woman that cut me
from her body
The paddle -
hard and hot
leaving welts, the size
of leopard spots

They dried
the day daddy
left in his 56 Chevy
the powder of smoke
from the exhaust
filled the air
like a blanket of chalk
after clapping the erasers

They dried
from my cousin
pushing me in the washer
on the spin cycle
I came out
wrinkled

They dried
up in my flower bed
with the lace canopy
all the nights I couldn’t sleep
from the throwing glasses
and the screams

They dried
in jar I kept
in my desk
dabbing them on
as mascara
so I’d look sad
if I was called to


those were the last

under the glass
dome, that is my home
life moves as the wind around
me. But I can’t catch

a breeze. I see woman
chasing children. Children
chasing mirages, looking ****
mosaic collages. The colors all

run, the crimson and the marigold,
the azure unrolled. I hear the laughter
of boys going after girls. As I stand
inside my silence it deafens me -

their reverie.

as snow turns into
a puddle and dissolves
I wouldn't fuddle my head
with alcohol. Paint myself up

as a doll. Spread my legs
as Eagle wings! Pulled as
a puppet on strings. I'm a snowball
that's grown from men that buttered
me up as a scone, greasing their fingers

and licking my bones. I once was
a river. Now I've a river of men that skate
on ice. Some fallen in. That's the vice of
wearing pigskin!

have broken off
not without
the jabs and jibs
I can’t live my life

infected from the splinters
under my skin
the speck in my eye’s
are bigger than my thighs

The jabs are *****
as the Boston Harbor
sharper than the blades
of a barber

I jib at pulling
them out
they are my teeth
and the scab -
my mouth

your little girl is looking
at you with hollow eyes, carved out
from your lies. In the cavity, the voices
in his head nestled as lead. Daughter,

mother doesn't like you to bother her! Go to
your room little girl.  Can't you see he's out
of this world? Children are dolls. You dress up
and play with between the scratches and

welts. Not a breathing female,
as yourself.  Rolled up in a ball she's a hedgehog,
sticking out her quills as teeth. Biting on
the swears and screams. All the soft underbelly,

stuck as a jar of jelly. Living in daddy's
world of maelstrom it's hard to
live strong. So, she curls up onto
herself, sticking it to the soft hand

that playfully moves near her. Touching
you with the pins, poking out her mouth.. Full of
jabbing ******, and shouts, leaving you bleeding. But
then, this is her greeting. Don't let them underneath -

as you did daddy. He's in the padded room,
cushioned with the nurse's perfume.