what you say. Don’t
go breaking young girl’s
hearts. You don’t know her last
experience. You don’t know what
she’s been through.

Young man be careful
what you do. This could have
repercussions that she alone
can’t handle. If you’re not in it
for the long ride get out of the saddle.

in the dark morning.
In the blackness I write.
But there’s you
inside of my head.
And there’s your words
that reverberate
and cut my throat –
but not my hand.
So, I pen them
again
and again
to the sound
of the crickets
chirping.
And I wonder how
you could be
so insensitive?
How blatantly Cold?
But I guess I’ll never know –

that’s why the hurt
hurt more than it ever did
any other person

She adored you
that’s why from then on
her whole world was
for sure uncertain

She adored you
that’s why she withdrew
because she didn’t want
the realization of a reality
without you

She adored you
that’s why she turned
to destroying herself
because death was what she saw
as the only way out

of the pain

to pretend anymore. Too many
years wearing the fake smiles, along
with the skirts and button-up blouses
with heels that gave me bunions that

hurt following other people’s wishes –
what they thought was best
for me. When I got dressed in
the morning I wasn’t sure who was

leaving the house, who rode on the
train and was chatting it up
up with the boss. And when I came
home and started preparing the dinner

on the stove I didn’t know
why. I just wanted take-out
tonight. And when the alarm clock
growled in my ear the next morning

making me do it all over again
I never question it. I just arose
out of my bed like the dead and went
to my desk and typed on the letter- head

whatever it was that the boss wanted
for the day just to collect the pay that
went toward the bills but never seemed to
be enough. Because they kept piling up.

Why do you write
Why do perform ****
Why don’t you get a normal job
One outside the home
Because
Why do you style your hair big
Why do you wear so much make-up
Why don’t you dress your age
Because
I only live by my own standards

the men are woman
and the woman are men
when you are born
the genitalia you have
doesn’t matter
or the way they dress you
or address you are sir
or madam
there is no more
pink or blue
it’s a different hue
a rainbow of colors
no dolls or trucks
or lacey dresses
patent leather shoes
no ballet classes
or boxing matches
can define you
you define you
no parent or teacher
no scathing nun
or preacher
nor employer
or lawyer
many births certificate
are wrong
you can grow out
of your ***
like you grow out
of clothes
the doctors thought
they could determine
the *** in-utero
but no more
you determine everything
even your origin

Are there holes in your face?
Are you cut into an expression
you can never erase –
like the joker
Or do you go around wearing
a poker face?

Does the candle shine out
or shine in?
Have you too much wine?
Lived too much sin?
Are you for decorative purposes
or for shedding some light
Are you versatile?
or only good for one night.