Elle: Poems

2.5k · Oct 2018

Miss you

Elle Oct 2018

Miss you

I miss the way I loved you
With every breath I loved you

I miss the silly girl in me
Who though we would love eternally

A song, a place I’m right back there
Young, naive without a care

Before I really grew into me
There was always us, you and me

Good times planted in my mind
Bad boxed up somewhere behind

Now I’m older now I see
You were never good for me

I had bad days, tears and sad days
Not knowing what I had done days

Try harder tomorrow days
Fail again and again days

I miss the person you could sometimes be
When you were not hurting me

So do I miss you, don’t you see
I miss the person I though you could be

I miss the way I loved you
With every breath I loved you

669 · Oct 2018

Calling my name

Elle Oct 2018

Calling my name

Not asleep nor awake ‘twas that place in between
When I heard you calling my name
Were you here? were you there? in that place in between
When I heard you calling my name

I could say it’s a dream, a beautiful dream
When I heard you calling my name
But I think you came back just to say hello
When I heard you calling my name

My dear wonderful Grandad had passed away and one night I heard him call my name so clearly.

626 · Oct 2018

Dancing in the rain

Elle Oct 2018

Dancing in the rain

The shadows creep beside me, I pretend that I don’t care
They tap me on my shoulder, they whisper are you there?
At times I can ignore them, but they are always near
Who would want their gift when their gift just brings me fear

Doubt and can’t won’t leave me
Worry sticks by my side
Panic will not go away
The pain I must abide

When darkness falls they strike with flair
To sleep I say goodbye
They own my mind I belong to them
There is no where to hide

On and on each day I try
And i will never give in
One day will be my day, one day I will win

I'll just keep on fighting
Until you stop calling my name

Until that day arrives
I’ll just keep dancing in the rain

Depression, anxiety, stress is a battle for a lot of people and I have my share. Each day is a new day to beat it and each day I try

332 · Nov 2018

He died

Elle Nov 2018

He died

Killed by the cuts
Let down and lost
Waiting lists to long
His pain was to great
Blood on their hands
A lost soul forever

Another young man taken his own life and he was waiting to be helped by a service that hardly exists, my heart bleeds and my tears flow. The 4th young man I have known of in two years .

211 · Oct 2018

Time to be

Elle Oct 2018

Time to be

No time to sit and ponder why
No time to to watch the world go by
No time to breath and just be me
No time to be a little free

No time to listen to the trees
Dancing in the summer breeze
No time to stop and watch and see
the beauty that’s surrounding me

No time to wait and wonder why
No time to watch the clouds float by
No time no time no time for me
No time to breath and just to be

211 · Nov 2018

Memories

Elle Nov 2018

Memories

The memory not very exciting
For everyone else it’s a bore
But the memory is warm and inviting
A glimpse back through yesterday’s door

199 · Nov 2018

Untitled

Elle Nov 2018

Untitled

I’m falling
My heart is ruling my head

Im crying
My heart has won

Which means
I have lost.

198 · Nov 2018

Lost love

Elle Nov 2018

Lost love

Love died for you but mine carried on
Your love went to another
My ache marched on alone
I needed time to learn to love without you
I needed time to be me and not us
Mending was hard because the hurt was so bad
The loneliness of me not being part of you
The reality that we had become me
My love, my friend, my I tell you everything had gone
The feeling of loss ripped me apart

At times I still miss you
My love from so long ago
And my heart still aches just a little
For the love I lost

180 · Oct 2018

A love to call her own

Elle Oct 2018

A love to call her own

A happy ever after
she always thought she’d find

A little girl with hopes and dreams
the perfect prince in mind

There were no if’s or maybe’s
It would happen she was sure

When you’re eight you’re full of hope
she’d find that love so pure

The girl has gone a woman stands
with scars upon her heart

Those dreams are disappearing
the seams have ripped apart

Love finds love around her
How could it be so bold

Loneliness embraces her
It’s arms are hard and cold

She waits and waits with patience
Will she always be alone?

All she’s ever wanted
Was a love to call her own

139 · Oct 2018

Little one

Elle Oct 2018

Little one

I love you even though I never held you
I ache for you who had no name
I miss you even though I never met you
My life will never be the same

134 · Nov 2018

It’s time

Elle Nov 2018

It’s time

I can hear the sound of what I must do, follow and say
It’s noise is menacing, loud and cold
It dominates my world and my time
It pretends to be my friend
A robot I have become
a follower in society

But it can’t find me here
The timekeeper doesn’t exist
in this place I call my own
Locked away in my world
Society and it’s demands have no home here

I breath in the air
And it wakens me
I look up and the beauty in the sky warms my soul

I am shut off from the madness
And I become mindful of just being

My shoulders drop, my breathing slows,
my mind wanders and dances to its own song
Everything ceases for this short time
My time, special time, as I become just me

I hum as a song passes through my mind
Thoughts and feelings, yesterday’s and tomorrow’s
Like clouds floating by, they come and go
They come freely, they have time to grow and take me forward
Or to end and be left behind

I don’t want to be a robot marching through life

I open my eyes and I really see
I want to live as me
not follow the masses that are society

The blinkers are off
It’s time

120 · Apr 2022

My mum and Alzheimer's

Elle Apr 2022

My mum and Alzheimer's

It creeps in, silently, it doesn't ask, it doesn't care.
It let's me keep you but takes you away little by little.
It robs us of us, who we were together, our memories that were just ours, now they are just mine and I will keep them safe.

I see you all the time but I miss you, I miss us, the old us, the silly us. Just us, the us only we knew.

How dare it take you away and let me watch, let me feel angry and so very very sad all at the same time.
And what's so cruel is the person I would confide in, tell my worries and innermost thoughts to is you. ❤️

43 · Jul 26

Grandma May

Elle Jul 26

Grandma May

The green, the church the path along, the grave in which you lay.
The memories are
hazy but one will always stay.

Beyond the green, the church the path, the grave in which you lay, sits a tree so beautiful its just along the way.

I climb down the wall into the field how lovely was that day, the tree and all it's glory sit beside you Grandma May.

The branches reach and touch me, the beauty of this tree, I'm captured by it's presence and how it speaks to me.

Its grand and graceful and sits with pride in the field it calls it's home, it spoke to me that day and said you'll never be alone.

Beyond the green. The church the path, the grave in which you lay, sits a tree so beautiful it's just along the way.

30 · Jul 25

Broken heart x2

Elle Jul 25

Broken heart x2

You came from nowhere and stole her heart.
You loved her hard so you stole mine too.

I thought you were the one, the one who would cherish her, love her for always and keep her heart safe.

I was wrong, you broke her heart.
You see, you didnt love her hard enough. You gave up and you walked away.
Therefore you broke my heart too.

I picked her up and held her close, I helped her through the pain and it was tough, but I love her hard and always will.

One-day there will be The One, but there will always be a little sadness that it wasn't you.
You broke 2 hearts that day, for 2 very different reasons. 💔 💔

— The End —