most of us can get through most days
without melodrama
but can every day contain a moment
memorable and meaningful?
when it was worth the effort
of getting out of bed?
maybe this moment is that moment

this morning at work
i read the new york times
listened to huey lewis
ate a pepperoni pizza
with banana peppers
took a nap
and had a cup of coffee
why would i retire?

benjamin franklin was created by benjamin franklin
one of his most ingenious inventions
you could never read all the books about him
when you finish one, two more have been written
i party in his colossal footsteps
thanks ben, for lending me all those volumes from your library
you invented bifocals, i see clearly
your stove warms my heart
i give away my **** too -- no patents for me either
let’s jam sometime on your glass armonica
i’m packing one of your divided soup bowls on my next ocean trip
i’m sick of losing my clam chowder to the waves
these terms you added to the lexicon:
"battery," "positive," "negative," "conductor," "discharge"
i’m positive i bought a battery the other day
you designed the first penny – only now an anachronism
no matter how many of those saved pennies have been earned
all those aphorisms, my god
i bet you mumble them in your sleep
you started the philosophical society, me the secret music society
you studied whirlwinds and gulf streams when sailing to london for a cup of coffee
you designed flippers, hung onto a kite for windsurfing
used the kite to summon lightning
invite me next time you blow up a thunder house with an ungrounded lightning rod
we’ll make pittsburgh tremble
and congrats on the grounded lightning rods
you saved millions of people and neutralized religion
it’s not the deadly finger of god, the vengeance of the lord
it’s just a buzz
lighting the streets at night comes in handy
though the night watchman concept has gotten a bit fascist
brokering the french alliance was stellar for our onion soup supply
but your suggestion that we unite these states
i’m not sure that one’s gonna stick
and thomas jefferson was a cockblocker
we declare independence from his scolding us for all our mademoiselles

now everybody knows this
we experience time in a linear fashion
we’re on a track going in one direction
forward
behind us is our past
we can’t go there again
we can only look
"remembering"

but here’s the new stuff
the track is laid in an immense field
a lot of terrain
most of which we can never visit
the field is time in perpetuity
"the past" before the moments we lived
“the future" beyond the days we’ll reach
all in the field together

still though
it's an itch that can't be scratched
that time when i was young
strong, good-looking
happy and happening
is right over my shoulder
i can see it from here
but i can’t get there

how do you tell time?
clock
calendar
school
TV shows
first times--
kiss
laid
driving
drinking
first love
last love
all the pointless jobs
timeline of the children
lifespan of the cats
initial failures of the body
fatal subtraction of loved ones
the creeping ugliness of the mirror

i am a poem
with an inception and a finale
perfect
you’re the best stanza
making it whole and sublime
and now i snap shut
i float away, complete
happy

some people have too much money
it defines them
totally
anything else about them
is irrelevant

when you’ve seen the face of god
even if it was a hundred years ago
you obsess on that moment
i’ve never witnessed god
but i saw you
and that’s why i’ve been crazy
to this day

how tough?
i don’t need a bar
i need a distillery

trump’s gonna decimate the tourist industry
you think people said
“gee, i wanna visit **** germany
looks like fun”?

all these people are trapped on the A train
they look half dead
maybe from the jobs they came from
or the subway
or the lives they’re heading home to
trapped head to toenail
but like all animals in captivity
open the cage door
pull them out
and they’ll hop right back in the cage
and call themselves happy

trapped
oh yeah
no denying
trapped in the straps of my bicycle helmet
trapped in the laces of my boots
in my predawn shredded wheat
my toothbrush, razor and scary mirror
the purring fur of my cats
there's no gun to my head
but i'm obligated
to plod in my own deep tracks
i'm happy to be trapped, i guess
but i need to be reminded
of my vast satisfaction

i don’t know about you
but some nights i go out looking for trouble
sink a few, drop a bottle, jump a rooftop
shout the wrong thing in the wrong ear
many nights really
and sometimes i gotta take my popped knee
busted head and flattened ego
back home to lick my wounds
and enjoy the quiet world i live in

jimmy page had a sitar before the beatles
but couldn’t figure out how to tune it
see, being a beatle pays off
you can have the world’s greatest sitar master
give you tuning tips
all jimmy page had for guidance
was a billion groupies

once you're out of diapers

TV stars and pop singers don't compute
you look at a magazine
"my god, these people have no eyebrows"
you don't recognize them
you're not supposed to
they're not programmed for you
they're not singing to you
they're not designed for you
you're free

man it’s twee heaven
i’m in a coffee shop reading malcolm gladwell
trying to ignore the hippie barista
and a sensitive young patron
as they compare their hard life and times
a dude comes in, a famous mess
barefoot, pajama bottoms and drunker than a tavern
"can i have a free french cappuccino?"
the barista says yes and while she makes it
he leans into my space making comments
he’s way too smashed to deliver with any trace of pinache
"here’s…  this guy…"
she gives him his coffee
"oh man… it’s not french…"
he staggers out of the place, cup in hand
the kid customer asks if he comes in a lot
"he’s been in here a few times," says the barista
"the guy ever wear shoes?" i ask
"i don’t judge," she says, lip ring quivering
no judging from her, except for me--
constructing a gallows and sentencing me to hang
for being old, male and normal
well she’s got me there

on tuesday in the hospital
i made a student cry
she wouldn’t shut up about a no-win situation
we talked half an hour as i charted
she got more and worked up
"we should DO something" about a patient
when there was nothing left to do
"we are done talking about this," i said at last
"if you work in a hospital
you won’t see ten people like this
you’ll see hundreds
and their families
if you really want to help these people
you can’t be so emotional"
words that jumpstarted the tears
i felt unsettled about that
but she put me in that position

on friday i was at a gallery opening
the artist handed me a vape pen of ***
"what’s that?" i asked
and my cool factor shrank to zero

once upon a time
i woke up in a garden of dried *****
from a tuinal OD
an uh oh moment
and if i hadn’t woken up
well no one held a gun to my head in union square
(an actual possibility in those days)
now at work in the hospital this morning
we just gave up on a 20-year-old athlete
OD’d on pills, arrested, dead before 8 a.m.
mom, dad and older brother are wild with grief
uh oh

mom, dad and Uncle Money
he's YOUR uncle because it's THEIR money
now in later years he's a bully
a fairy godmother, an annoying obsession
he obliterates imagination
you wanna love him but you can't trust him
he's here, he's gone, he's up for a good time
even while kicking your feet out from under you
and he always has a better argument
doesn't know the cool tunes but he plays the hits
Uncle Money gets all the ladies, in the end
he paints a binary picture, in a bad way
but he forever gets his *** kicked by Grannie Luck

an airplane is an escape from gravity
a parachute is a compromise
jumping off the ground is protest
and laying down is surrender
a trampoline is a tease
and all the elevators are going up today
none coming down
so up we go

“up yours!” is such a great phrase
brings me right back to the 70s

vacation
out of sight, out of my mind
when i return after a week off
and i enter the hospital where i work
i say oh yeah, this

there’s no intrinsic value in anything
none
oh there’s value, but only what we ascribe
like picasso scribbles now worth a fortune
because somebody decided
it’s all arbitrary
***?  a compelling biological twitch
self-preservation?   if you say so
pizza?  tastes good
democracy?  if you dig mob prejudice
god?  if he existed
love?  a great tv show
youth?
ah, now you’re talking

in the 21st century
playing a guitar instead of a computer
is like driving a harley instead of a lexus
the lexus is better for every kind of weather
smoother, sleeker
more versatile
more intelligent
the guitar?
IT'S A ******* HARLEY

yet another victim
of what?
******* that passes for thought
circumstances set in motion
losers with nothing better to do
business as usual
morons who feel passionately
about their reflections in the mirror

yeah, you're anticorporation
that's why you wipe your *** with tree bark
and weave your own cloth
from the cotton you grow in the basement

now let's see
if i were afraid of everything
didn't care about other people
thought science was *******
but believed anything anyone said
just because he said it
who would i vote for?

is it really such a radical idea
that people shouldn’t push other people around
and pillage all their resources?

seems to me that the idea of a king and queen
is the wacky concept

i want to slide downhill
with woofers in my ears
i want to either save the planet
or leave a large crater in it
give me blue neon city lights
and lulu singing to sir with love
i want the blues in every note
(but without the blues fans)
i want fat to be the new thin
and i want time to roll backwards
i want the folds of my thalamus to flatten
not a stroke but nirvana

i work in a hospital
throwing all my resources
into keeping a 97-year-old breathing
the next dweeb brings an assault rifle
into a texas school
and murders nineteen 4th graders
as far as i know we have free will
but maybe not
maybe that’s an irrelevant illusion
maybe we’re drones
on a battleground of karma
programmed by generals
we might call good and evil
though maybe that’s just as irrelevant

alan turing conjuring his everything machine
he built the future
and we’re stuck with it

the concept of william byrd is weightless today
he wrote the music on my current hit list
which has everything and nothing to do
with a fellow who roamed london in 1586
named william byrd

pulling the plug on a covid patient
his brother MUST be in the room
"i gotta be there – i GOTTA be there"
he insists on the phone
and even though it’s perilous to be in the room—
when the breathing tube comes out
the patient will be coughing covid in all corners—
the hospital protocol says it’s a-ok
the man can by all means inhale his brother’s deadly breath
BUT  
at 4 pm, the anointed time, he’s not there
we call – "are you coming?"
he’s dead drunk and not going anywhere
MEANWHILE
the patient’s fiancé wants to ZOOM in for the end
we set up a laptop at the foot of the bed
aim it at the poor fellow
and as i pull the tube to send him on his way
there’s SCREECHING from the computer
what the hell are we listening to?
is that martin lawrence and a piercing laugh track?
she’s got her tv BLASTING some old situation comedy
to usher her man into eternity

pulling the plug on a covid stroke patient
his brother MUST be in the room
"i gotta be there – i GOTTA be there"
he insists on the phone
and even though it’s perilous to be in the room--
when the breathing tube comes out
the patient will be coughing covid in all corners--
the hospital protocol says it’s a-ok
the man can by all means inhale his brothers’s deadly breath
BUT  
at 4 pm, the anointed time, he’s not there
we call – "are you coming?"
he’s dead drunk and not going anywhere
MEANWHILE
the patient’s fiancé wants to ZOOM in for the end
we set up a laptop at the foot of the bed
aim it at the poor fellow
and as i pull the tube to send him on his way
there’s SCREECHING from the computer
what the hell are we listening to?
is that martin lawrence and a piercing laugh track?
she’s got her tv BLASTING some old situation comedy
to usher her man into eternity

barney chose his footsteps
whimsically
no deliberation
no destination
whimsy was his map and strategy
all night and day

"what’s happening, barney?"
"harpsichords, baby"
"what’s on the agenda?"
"pastrami and democracy"

and when barney picnicked in the park at 3 a.m.
and heard "give me your money, ******"
barney laughed a great laugh
and collapsed spreadeagle on the grass
the perplexed mugger straddled him
delivered a bemused punch to the jaw
and rummaged through barney’s every pocket
to find only pistachio nuts

playing my harpsichord in pittsburgh’s market square
an audience of homeless, druggies, children of druggies
scurrying working stiffs and three tourists
a black man at the far corner of the square
scampers straight for me, screeching "white devil!"
"white devil! white devil! white devil!"
he’s in front of me, leaning on the harpsichord
"WHITE DEVIL!"
then he drops $2 in my upsidedown bongo
turns around, screams "white devil!"
and runs out to the street

the truth is
you mostly don’t care about things
until you have to care about them
a necessary filtering process
for the vast polluted ocean
of existence

depends how many drinks you’re down
how much is in your wallet
what you’ve spent, what remains
who owns the world?
i could make a huge, expansive list
but it would be defective
the best answer
is you
you own the world
there’s room in your pocket
you can keep what you can carry

hey, people have to breathe
why shouldn't i get a few bucks?

i look in the mirror
and see myself at 25
why don’t photos
work the same way?

saturday afternoon at the music store
browsing those racks of $1 CDs
dismal souvenirs of ambition
tiny graves

as the years pass
you get wider
more horizontal
when you’re utterly sideways
they shovel the dirt on you

you gotta win once in a while
it’s nice to get what you want
but going further
if a train never reaches its destination
the oil dries up, the engine slips, gears grind
fellow trains break down in despair
the destination turns a cold eye
you are stuck

the way we look is window dressing
a distraction to others and ourselves
not our bodies – they ARE us
but the way we APPEAR
****** blondes do it for me
but you can’t base a philosophical system
on a great set of ****
though you might be tempted

i’ve pinpointed the source of my corruption
when i was a kid my favorite cartoon was woody woodpecker
all the little ****** did was wreck the room, cackle inanely
and drill suckers in the head—
and the show was called WOODY WOOD PECKER
it’s astounding i’m still on the street

hitching a ride to the southside after a night shift
looking forward to sunrise holiday obliteration
oh holy night -- it’s our christmas party
my twenty dollars the first of a hundred on the bar
tequila from me, girlie shots from my menagerie
they taste like Chanel #5 but by shot #10
they knock you across the room

getting home from the christmas party is always an issue
but the bus goes directly from Jacks to my living room
so at 11 a.m. or who knows when i exit the bar
it’s freezing, snowing, and too much fun out here
but when the 54c bus finally materializes i rejoice
pay my fare and relax onto my seat
elated to be escalating home
i’m safe on the bus, so warm, so comfy
so slowly sliding from my seat to the floor
all seven passengers look down at me, that guy
i giggle up at them with christmas cheer
and say "woops"

the function of words is to communicate
not flaunt vocabulary
dazzle with metaphor
or shock with syntax

but then there's poetry

i’m suddenly in a ****** up situation
the patient is brought in tripping
the word is he took peytote
stopped his car, got out and proclaimed himself god
now he resides in the ER
he’d been tied to the cot but his nurse let him loose
"there’s no doctor’s order, i can’t restrain him"
strict regulations
he crawls out of bed and wobbles unsteadily down the hall
i get in front of him to block and redirect
but he’s not going for it
which puts me in an uncool position
he could start swinging on me
and he’s a big fella in good shape
if i respond he could fall and hurt himself
either way, i’m *******
i push him back into his crib
and strap him up anyway
a nurse who knows what she’s doing
says she’ll get a doctor’s order for restraints
once in bed, the guy is docile
"you want some ******?" he offers politely
"no thanks," i say
"i’m working"

the u.n. laid sanctions against me
presidents planted propaganda
missile defense shields were erected
all in vain, daddio

what’s happening in the Ukraine seems clear to us
but not to much of the world
World War I started because of a global chess game
hard to fathom from today’s perspective
if there are any survivors in the future
they’ll be scratching their heads
about why China/Russia and America
decimated the planet with World War III