now let's see
if i were afraid of everything
didn't care about other people
thought science was *******
but believed anything anyone said
just because he said it
who would i vote for?

is it really such a radical idea
that people shouldn’t push other people around
and pillage all their resources?

seems to me that the idea of a king and queen
is the wacky concept

i want to slide downhill
with woofers in my ears
i want to either save the planet
or leave a large crater in it
give me blue neon city lights
and lulu singing to sir with love
i want the blues in every note
(but without the blues fans)
i want fat to be the new thin
and i want time to roll backwards
i want the folds of my thalamus to flatten
not a stroke but nirvana

i work in a hospital
throwing all my resources
into keeping a 97-year-old breathing
the next dweeb brings an assault rifle
into a texas school
and murders nineteen 4th graders
as far as i know we have free will
but maybe not
maybe that’s an irrelevant illusion
maybe we’re drones
on a battleground of karma
programmed by generals
we might call good and evil
though maybe that’s just as irrelevant

alan turing conjuring his everything machine
he built the future
and we’re stuck with it

the concept of william byrd is weightless today
he wrote the music on my current hit list
which has everything and nothing to do
with a fellow who roamed london in 1586
named william byrd

pulling the plug on a covid patient
his brother MUST be in the room
"i gotta be there – i GOTTA be there"
he insists on the phone
and even though it’s perilous to be in the room—
when the breathing tube comes out
the patient will be coughing covid in all corners—
the hospital protocol says it’s a-ok
the man can by all means inhale his brother’s deadly breath
BUT  
at 4 pm, the anointed time, he’s not there
we call – "are you coming?"
he’s dead drunk and not going anywhere
MEANWHILE
the patient’s fiancé wants to ZOOM in for the end
we set up a laptop at the foot of the bed
aim it at the poor fellow
and as i pull the tube to send him on his way
there’s SCREECHING from the computer
what the hell are we listening to?
is that martin lawrence and a piercing laugh track?
she’s got her tv BLASTING some old situation comedy
to usher her man into eternity

pulling the plug on a covid stroke patient
his brother MUST be in the room
"i gotta be there – i GOTTA be there"
he insists on the phone
and even though it’s perilous to be in the room--
when the breathing tube comes out
the patient will be coughing covid in all corners--
the hospital protocol says it’s a-ok
the man can by all means inhale his brothers’s deadly breath
BUT  
at 4 pm, the anointed time, he’s not there
we call – "are you coming?"
he’s dead drunk and not going anywhere
MEANWHILE
the patient’s fiancé wants to ZOOM in for the end
we set up a laptop at the foot of the bed
aim it at the poor fellow
and as i pull the tube to send him on his way
there’s SCREECHING from the computer
what the hell are we listening to?
is that martin lawrence and a piercing laugh track?
she’s got her tv BLASTING some old situation comedy
to usher her man into eternity

barney chose his footsteps
whimsically
no deliberation
no destination
whimsy was his map and strategy
all night and day

"what’s happening, barney?"
"harpsichords, baby"
"what’s on the agenda?"
"pastrami and democracy"

and when barney picnicked in the park at 3 a.m.
and heard "give me your money, ******"
barney laughed a great laugh
and collapsed spreadeagle on the grass
the perplexed mugger straddled him
delivered a bemused punch to the jaw
and rummaged through barney’s every pocket
to find only pistachio nuts

playing my harpsichord in pittsburgh’s market square
an audience of homeless, druggies, children of druggies
scurrying working stiffs and three tourists
a black man at the far corner of the square
scampers straight for me, screeching "white devil!"
"white devil! white devil! white devil!"
he’s in front of me, leaning on the harpsichord
"WHITE DEVIL!"
then he drops $2 in my upsidedown bongo
turns around, screams "white devil!"
and runs out to the street

the truth is
you mostly don’t care about things
until you have to care about them
a necessary filtering process
for the vast polluted ocean
of existence

depends how many drinks you’re down
how much is in your wallet
what you’ve spent, what remains
who owns the world?
i could make a huge, expansive list
but it would be defective
the best answer
is you
you own the world
there’s room in your pocket
you can keep what you can carry

hey, people have to breathe
why shouldn't i get a few bucks?

i look in the mirror
and see myself at 25
why don’t photos
work the same way?

saturday afternoon at the music store
browsing those racks of $1 CDs
dismal souvenirs of ambition
tiny graves

as the years pass
you get wider
more horizontal
when you’re utterly sideways
they shovel the dirt on you

you gotta win once in a while
it’s nice to get what you want
but going further
if a train never reaches its destination
the oil dries up, the engine slips, gears grind
fellow trains break down in despair
the destination turns a cold eye
you are stuck

the way we look is window dressing
a distraction to others and ourselves
not our bodies – they ARE us
but the way we APPEAR
****** blondes do it for me
but you can’t base a philosophical system
on a great set of ****
though you might be tempted

i’ve pinpointed the source of my corruption
when i was a kid my favorite cartoon was woody woodpecker
all the little ****** did was wreck the room, cackle inanely
and drill suckers in the head—
and the show was called WOODY WOOD PECKER
it’s astounding i’m still on the street

hitching a ride to the southside after a night shift
looking forward to sunrise holiday obliteration
oh holy night -- it’s our christmas party
my twenty dollars the first of a hundred on the bar
tequila from me, girlie shots from my menagerie
they taste like Chanel #5 but by shot #10
they knock you across the room

getting home from the christmas party is always an issue
but the bus goes directly from Jacks to my living room
so at 11 a.m. or who knows when i exit the bar
it’s freezing, snowing, and too much fun out here
but when the 54c bus finally materializes i rejoice
pay my fare and relax onto my seat
elated to be escalating home
i’m safe on the bus, so warm, so comfy
so slowly sliding from my seat to the floor
all seven passengers look down at me, that guy
i giggle up at them with christmas cheer
and say "woops"

the function of words is to communicate
not flaunt vocabulary
dazzle with metaphor
or shock with syntax

but then there's poetry

you gotta work overtime
being me
that’s why they call it work

i’m suddenly in a ****** up situation
the patient is brought in tripping
the word is he took peytote
stopped his car, got out and proclaimed himself god
now he resides in the ER
he’d been tied to the cot but his nurse let him loose
"there’s no doctor’s order, i can’t restrain him"
strict regulations
he crawls out of bed and wobbles unsteadily down the hall
i get in front of him to block and redirect
but he’s not going for it
which puts me in an uncool position
he could start swinging on me
and he’s a big fella in good shape
if i respond he could fall and hurt himself
either way, i’m *******
i push him back into his crib
and strap him up anyway
a nurse who knows what she’s doing
says she’ll get a doctor’s order for restraints
once in bed, the guy is docile
"you want some ******?" he offers politely
"no thanks," i say
"i’m working"

the u.n. laid sanctions against me
presidents planted propaganda
missile defense shields were erected
all in vain, daddio

what’s happening in the Ukraine seems clear to us
but not to much of the world
World War I started because of a global chess game
hard to fathom from today’s perspective
if there are any survivors in the future
they’ll be scratching their heads
about why China/Russia and America
decimated the planet with World War III

gotta keep my eye on the ball
the big picture
i helped a bunch of folks to breathe
probably helped a couple to live
at least for one more day
so i worked too hard and long for a shift
no choice, boo-hoo
my skills were sharp
and my back was strong
i was worthy

he woke up on the wrong side of the bed
every day of his life

xylazine, horse tranquilizer
croc, the zombie drug
must be lots of fun
you’re getting high
while your legs disintegrate
you shrug
"gotta take the bad with the good"
we had a patient come in
we could see his femur
the actual bone
and we could smell the problem
from out in the hall
he was scheduled to get the leg chopped off
but first we pulled out the breathing tube
so he could decide if he wanted the amputation
or preferred to get septic and die
when asked how he let things get so bad
he gave an intelligent answer
"because i’m stupid"

biking to work at 5 a.m. on sunday morning
i see some malevolent ***** on saturday night
has dragged the sign YIELD TO PEDESTRIANS
from the sidewalk to the middle of the road
what was going through this idiot's mind?
"this is gonna be epic
have another beer and let's wait for the crash"
i drag the heavy base and flattened sign
back to the sidewalk
someone did indeed smash into it
but it's still dangerous
if that ******* had half a brain
he'd have seen that the only way to avoid the sign
would be to swerve head-on into the opposite lane
but maybe i'm mistaken about his motivation
maybe that was the point
maybe a car hadn't yielded to this pedestrian
and this is his revenge
"**** the world
starting with the ******* in this car
and all cars"

oh no
my sacrum has dissolved into the earth
and i can’t get up

"you are what you pretend to be"
works
because you are not you
"you" are a suit of clothes
that may fit just fine
but you can slip out of it
and as you get older
you might grow out of it
the good news is
you can put on another suit
which might fit just as well
or better

the nurse called in security
because the patient was all worked up
about getting discharged

patient:  "if i go home and have another seizure
i’m coming back here and slap everyone"

security:  "you can’t make violent threats, sir"

patient:  "i ain’t making violent threats
i’m just gonna slap’em"

if you juggle your scrumptious **** in my face
to sell your sound
i’m talking to you, beyonce
then you better open up when i come knocking
or i’ll take you to the better business bureau
you work for me,  i don’t work for you
however
the endgame of religion is transcendence
and since the holy books are bedtime stories
i’m talking to you, deuteronomy
if we get a lift to light from a **** superstar
as we aim for the great beyond – BEYONCE
if she’s our prayer, so be it
different compound, same chemical reaction
i’m talking to you, oxygen
you all work for me
or you don’t work at all

there’s no escape
from exploitation
all that you eat
animal or vegetable
was alive
trying to survive
that fire you make
the wood was a tree
buoyantly breathing
the virus reproducing in you
just wants to thrive
you vs. it
a zero sum game

zombie apocalypse
what better way to process
all these brain dead monsters
murdering total strangers
and third graders
with their advanced weaponry
you can’t go to the supermarket
without fearing you’ll be assassinated
by the walking dead