When my love for you was tested,
I never quit on you..
By your side I remained,
Full heartedly..
You were,
you are, the one I chose then
and The one I choose now.
Yet I offer you a best friend,
You turn away.
I offer you my my heart and soul,
& You turn away.
I offer you my love and affection,
you turn away,
But when you look at me I see in your eyes, you still love me.
That My love you cannot hide,
Not by a million miles..

So then,
Why is this love so complex?

You ever cried yaself stupid?
After so many tears, after so many years?
You finally have that one last tear,
that tear that taste different from the rest.
A little more salty with a little more sting....
Wake up foolish girl!!
Wake up!!!
Your to good for them tears.
Taste this last tear and let it sicken you so, you never shed another.
Not for this reason.
Not for this man.
Not for anything...
Go ahead and cry,
cry enough, let it all out,
cry just until you've cried yaself stupid...

This woman is fully capable,
She's capable of losing but even more at winning,
she cries than laughs,
her heart breaks but she'll love again,
she gets let down but never quits,
she fights her battles no matter how hard the next hit..
This woman is beautiful and her heart is pure,
and no matter the struggle,
this woman is and will always be, CAPABLE....

I believe you to be something beautiful,
A pretty pink flower I suppose
Maybe as pretty as a beautiful rose,
A rose withheld from blooming,
no water or sunlight to help you grow.
I will steal that chance, your chance,
Forbid myself of ever seeing something so beautiful.

I will pluck you before you've bloomed,

FORGIVE ME!!!

You are the existence of my poetry,
The meaning behind the words,
God gave me to you and you to me.
So young and foolish
stuck in our ways,
we rid our own lives of a love so beautiful,
passion so deep
emotions so intense,
but a timing so wrong, that we know nothing.
for years we stuck by, and my love for you never fading, no matter the pain I've felt.
And when I look at you today,
I desire you still.
You are the fire that burns inside of me,
I am yours forever

I often wonder

Do I haunt your thoughts as much as you do mine's?
Does the thought of me keep you up at night?
Do you ever desire my heart as I do yours?
Am I completely irrelevant to you as you are happy with another woman by your side?
How did she ever become more than me? And why is it I can't escape you

5 am and I can't sleep
I lay in bed missing your arms around me..

Your in the arms of someone else...

I wish to be something more than this,
Why I cant move on?
Idk...
I need to be something more than this
& as i hold on, the world seems to be moving slow.
I pray to God for something more than this
My life has been so burdened,
The things I've created myself this time
Are beyond some things unheard of.
Will I ever be something more than this,
There's so much more I want,
With everyday day that passes, and every tear I cry,
I'm fighting through this storm!

JUST TO BE SOMETHING MORE THAN THIS!

You are the existence of my poetry, 
The meaning behind the words, 
God gave me to you and you to me.
So young and foolish
stuck in our ways,
we rid our own lives of a love so beautiful, 
passion so deep 
emotions so intense, 
but a timing so wrong, that we know nothing.
for years we stuck by, and my love for you never fading, no matter the pain I've felt. 
And when I look at you today,
I desire you still.
You are the fire that burns inside of me,
I am yours forever

How i pray so much for our family to be restored.
And yes that means with you in it.

How long id have to wait...
if I decided to wait...
I'd wait forever...

Maybe never....

The worst part of loving a man you can't have,
Is loving a man you can't have...

We move on,
We learn, we grow.
With every tear comes a smile,
With every mistake comes a lesson.

The quietest nights are consumed with the loudest thoughts,
The last tears you'll cry often are the most painful.
A pain can be many when it comes to  heartbreak.

From breakup to make up, from make up to wake up, finding yourself with someone else.
From letting go, yet not letting go,
From moving on, not really moving on.
From saying I no longer love you,
To crying yourself to sleep over how badly one heart can miss another.

There's levels in love
Levels in heartbreak

And when you finally reach the .....

I Am genuinley letting go,
But really letting go,
That is the last, most painful, yet most freeing tear you will cry...

I find myself to be something beautiful,

Flawed beyond all measures,
But a heart in the purest form.
Learning,
Only to change,
Things I hate, things I love,
Healing some bruises,
I'm never enough.

Embracing myself,
And these flaws beyond all measures,
I'm learning to be something beautiful...

Harsh words,
Cold heart,
Stupid choices,
Let's depart..
I loved you,
You pushed me away,
You chose that,
So there you'll stay.
When you awake il be gone,
Don't call my name,
Cause you chose wrong...

Do you remember a time when you weren't asleep?
When goals drove you and your fight was Limitless!
There was a vibrancy in your smile,
the wisdom you shared with it,
you changed people!

Do you remember a time you werent asleep?
When love drove you and family meant something,
there was passion with your actions,
You changed us!

I often wonder if when you wake, do you feel an emptiness inside of you?
Do you remember that one fateful day
That day you fell asleep?
And was it the same day that you stopped caring?
For YOURSELF, and for US?