What is that sound
When I drive back to city
That droning low rumble
- calling me back
Calling me wild
Fear
Worry
Like a child to blind
I hear the call of back to me.
I feel the nonsense
Adult I must be.

I Love the child in me.
Not forgotten - I still feel me.
That’s what keeps me free

Now a smoke and a whiskey **

Which one should I see.

The mind one, or the body one...
Something is wrong - being strong to open.

Opening me to see if it's in my mind or really there physically -
Simply being open to me should heal me.

The cats distract me.

Better make a cup of tea.

Planted a letter to my Mum when I was 8. I was left with my aunt in Capetown..
My father left me with her while the divorce was going on.
Felt alone and rejected. Wrote a letter to to my Mum cause I wanted to be rescued...and gave it to the only one trusted to deliver the letter - The one who held me safe since I was 4..., the only one that gave me perspective.
The only one that held me tight so I would not fall.
Made a little hole, pressed my letter in between the fingers of root and earth.
I knew without reason this to be the only way.
I still believe to this day in the nature of nature.

Sensitivity of hearing

Cutlery and plates smashed in the metal sink
Neighbours rumbling loud and low
Cat calling 3 blocks away
Mind calculating and attempting to calm cat and sink
Loud is the nerve endings, like antenna of feelings

Why then super sensitive to sound, clicks, ticks
driving me to hold my ears closed.
Its outside .. sound is not inside I say to the wave.

The monster can grab and grip and whirl a tee spoon fall
ting, ting ,ting , and turn high frequency on.. to push fingers
to ear holes.

Consider me.
I hear the cat call.
I am connected to the noise of all.

The city world is low rumble and loud for my ears and fingers.
You can hear it also, but you can ignore it too.

Consider me - I hear it all of the time.
I can hear the dust falling, thats loud enough.

Aspergers - love and be kind.

Preparing.
Dreaming.
Knowing.
This we all feel is seconds away.
The question we all ask; where are we from ?
What am I ?
How did I get here..
Then it fades with age as we get on with dealing with this
living place..
I feel and love, yet I dont belong.
admire the beauty and scenery, yet I dont belong.
I am the owner and the most clever, yet that feeling..
I am just a child.

End of part 1.

The trees.
Small are we.
Simple tadpoles in the weeds.
Strong we grew.
Few are we, masters we want to be.
The trees , our friends let us be
They keep us safe.. those masters of kindness.
The leafs that sway comfort.
I betray thee
We dont know how to be.
Forgive us
Masters of me.

I just found what this means.

Shape and definition defines my search.
Search and you will
Will and you can

Funny its just a circulus in my mind.

Thanks x

No, I wont Understand.
Lets just be.
Stand and be equal.

My vice.



Never see the outcome.

I don’t seem to see the end.

I have seen it through in my mind space.

A challenged mind to myself.



Space in my mind is real , I just can’t see it.

Answers I know to be true - Just can’t see it through.



Stop the goal and see the truth.

I am my own goal.

I have seen perfection is simply protection.



I protect the outcome of mind space.



A challenged mind I am.



I see wonder in me.

Best you respect yourself - whether you kak yourself out- or happy for 2 mins a day. look after your kids - hate everyone else in the world cause they all wrong anyway. ~Floss and brush your teeth till they tiny stumps..as this helps anger issues.. if not - tattoo your whole face to look like your toe nails. Or fake some of it, some of life you dont agree with. Just until the next glorious curry ****.. Then remember life is what you make it. Kak all the way to the end. **

Feeling runs down
Spin spokes push water out
When spin stills - water.. it runs inward
Feeling down and out
gravity is undone
I cry in to the sky
Water runs outward
Feeling drops in to me

The web of despair,
dissolves with kindness.

Water bows lines of fear, weight of compassion
breaks spinnerets of distrust.
Believe in transparency.
Believe in we of community.
Compassion of people will heal.

Or simply despair -

Now I'm remote memory.
Adjustment is tricky.
Still, l cook for 4.
Yet I eat for me.
Physically alone.
Mentally 3 run riot.
I live now, and then.
Now Present.

Free of need and

They dont give me.
Recently Im empty.
Best get back to me.
Dont feed me.
I will empty, leave me.
I will see to hurt me.
Skinny I am.
Pretty, dont you see....
Im empty.
Cant you see.
Brexit is killing we.
Hate and culling will be the end of us.
Borders of shame.

Rise people
People rise

No end in sight

best to flight

Servant of what.
Me ?
Life
Courage
Blame
Need
Im not a servant to see..
Im simply a result to society, yes a person
who has no idea of Doctren bestowed on me.

I blame my lack of seeing whats in front of me.
When I was a child, I did see and feel everything.

Now its gone - I am a serpent of we.

Little sharp mind again, wish for freedom.

Maybe thats the Servant.

Wey swirls around.
Outing kindness
Drawn in, further and further.
Center is attraction of nothing but hope.
How to leave this is ..
Giving can be gravity that was not meant..
or at least unseen.
unseen swirls around like feelings
unbound