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Aug 2020 · 54
Let's Talk.....
Chris Hawkins Aug 2020
My names is Chris and I am me,
Am I just me or one of three,
Am I Chris the laughing clown,
Am I Chris who is feeling down,

Am I Chris brave and carefree,
That’s the Chris I’d like to be,
Confident Chris happy and fun,
Tough as iron, gets things done,

I guess its ok to be all three,
As I guess all three are still me,
Chris the warrior scars and all,
Chris who no longer fears a fall,

Mental Health is it still taboo,
Not anymore thanks to me and you,
Its good to talk so they say,
Its also ok not to be ok,

Don’t suffer in silence, talk to me,
I’ll do my best to help, you’ll see,
Its time to talk time to trust,
Let your problems bite the dust
Jul 2020 · 32
The Pain Of A Punch
Chris Hawkins Jul 2020
I stood there and faced him, his eyes were dark and cold,
His face was coarse with anger, rage had taken hold,
He stooped to grab a weapon, my eyes locked onto his hand,
My gaze was broken for a moment, a fearsome punch he did land.

A searing pain ran through my face, and my head in turn did spin,
His evil eyes and deathly stare were now an evil grin,
As I hurtled back more pain I felt across my hairless head,
My world turned into darkness I feared that I was dead.

They say your life flashes before you when faced with such events,
It’s fair to say it’s true, of that there’s no pretence,
My brothers in arms broke my fall and dragged me from my fate,
They battled on without me as I lay in my unconscious state.

When I started to come round, my head was spinning like a wheel,
The taste and sight of blood, and pain was all that I could feel,
My brain was saying get up man and help your brothers out,
My body was saying ***** you fella your down and out for the count.

As I lay in pain and coming round on a grotty lino floor, a vision I did see,
An angel known as Gracie who had come to tend to me,
She soothed my brow and comforted me while in a bloodied heap I lay,
The others were still working hard to keep my evil foe at bay.

Now whilst the scars and bruises are fading and life I guess goes on,
The mental scars are the scary ones, for those you struggle to outrun,
So this smiling laughing clown you know and feel safe to work longside,
Is trying to bounce back in his darkest hours the part he feels has died.

The moral here is an aged one, and one we can’t forget,
The band of brothers we work alongside are the best we ever met,
So when your sat up on the 2’s on your seventh cup of tea,
Just remember the laughing clown and raise a brew to me.
A poem about an assault I suffered whilst working in Her Majesty’s Prison Service..
Jul 2018 · 280
Leave Me Alone
Chris Hawkins Jul 2018
I know he means well when he does his rounds
His childish behaviour knows no bounds
A manager by title, and title alone
I cringe at his presence through to the bone

He asks how I am with a sickening grin
Is my mental health ok, he says on a whim
Because I'm ******* does he think I am mad
Enough of you now I really have had

Night shifts in this place can mess with your mind
But I yearn for the rest days that follow behind
Its then I can rest and find peace within
And forget the baffoon with the immature grinn

Dawn has now risen my shifts nearly done
Soon I can go home, my times begun
Its now time to rejoin the land of the living
And the things that to me make life fullfilling
Jul 2018 · 416
The Lonely War
Chris Hawkins Jul 2018
It is the darkest place one can go to alone,
A solitary journey I want to disown.
An every day battle against the same old foe,
But the enemy fights back with brutal blows.
It creeps up on you in your vulnerable state,
It springs from the darkness, where it lay in wait.
Thoughts in your mind begin to carousel.
Then drag you to your private hell.
Nightmares and ghosts from deep in your past
Serve as the turmoil you can't outlast.
At last sleep comes like a welcomed friend,
Until you wake, the lonely war begins again.
Jul 2018 · 443
Steel & Stone
Chris Hawkins Jul 2018
Prisons are heartless, they lack feeling and soul
Bare stone walls and steel bars so cold
Anger and hate runs coarse through its veins
Violence and hurt are familar pains

Tensions are high as I walk through this place
The stress and the strain are clear on my face
20 long years I have suffered to date
Feeling bitter and lost, I despair of my fate

Time stands still in this house of stone
Hundreds of people, yet we all feel alone
They stare at me coldly through eyes so black
I stare straight ahead, I dare turn my back

I'm no killer, no bad man, nor even a yob
This place that cages us is merely my job
For they are many and we are few
They dont call me by name, they call me a *****
Jul 2018 · 204
Don't Look Down
Chris Hawkins Jul 2018
Don’t look down look up,
I think as they pass me by,
Don’t look down, look up,
You will miss the world go by

Don’t look down, look up,
There is so much to be seen,
Don’t look down, look up,
Enjoy where you have been,

Don’t look down, look up,
You never know what you’ll miss
Don’t look down look up,
Savour life’s sweet kiss

Don’t look down look up.
Raise your head towards the sky.
Don’t look down look up,
Don’t let life just pass you by

Don’t look down look up.
My intentions not to moan,
Don’t look down look up,
Put your mobile down

Look up, not down,
Embrace in life what’s free,
Look up, not down,
Smile when you see me.

— The End —