I threw my phone
Broke it
Not the first time either

This time though
I lost the only thing i really wanted

The voicemails that i will never hear again

I'll never be able to listen to you say
I love you
Again

I wish you were still here

You taught me to love myself
When I couldn't
You taught me to hate myself
When I shouldn't
You taught me how ugly I am
On the inside
You taught me how dumb I am
In my mind
You taught me to hate more
To relate more
To live more
To love less

You taught me
That I'm a mess

I can't stop thinking about her
Her hair, her smile
The pictures I've seen
Videos you've taken
Are forever embedded in my brain

I can't stop thinking about her
How you chose her
over me

I have a dream
Where life is simple
And money grows on trees
I have a dream
Where people are friends
And not possible enemies
I have a dream
Where we all laugh
About the things that make us mad
I have a dream
Where hurtful things
Don't really hurt as bad
I have a dream

We still have conversations
But we don't have much to say
I listen to your stories
That you tell me everyday
Sometimes there's something new
Sometimes nothing at all
I don't really care much
I love listening to you talk
I don't have much going on
There's not much to say myself
I wish I wasn't boring
I wish I was someone else
I can't hold your attention
You don't really want it anyway
But maybe if I had it
I'd have more to say
So please keep on talking
It keeps the air light
I don't like when there's nothing
To do except for fight

full moon bright

with sun reflected light

why cant i be like you

I see the way you look at me
Empty eyes still smiling
Like you don't think that I can see
Inside your mind and it's humbling
After all these years you consider me
Nothing more than an enemy

The way you touch me burns my skin
Begging me to let you in
A stupid war that I can't win
Everyday the way it begins
After all these years, a struggle within
Looking past your loveless grin

The way you smile blinds my sight
Weakens me against your lies
The way I want you makes me cry
Knowing what I know inside
After all these years It's hard to fight
Against the empty in your eyes