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Case Catherine Aug 2018
I had said that I would be there by now
but the falling rain causes me to wait,
introspective of the last time I was out
in that direction. Memories delay
my heart from running headlong in anyway.
But those who found me have searched so far
to ask me to join them without a name.
Do I brave the rain? I'll decide in the car.

I had not planned on returning again,
but I fear that in the passing of time
I will be forgotten in the wilderness.
A body, once young, no one will recognize,
A face, once hidden, not needing disguise.
To be known is to be left with their scars.
It is a wound I am desperate to hide.
I watch the fog rise. I'll decide in the car.

Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting.
Beauty is fleeting. in years going by
what hardly had come is already leaving.
But I am invited for one last time
to light the flame of desire inside
before I am doomed to fade from the stars.
The clouds already start to hide their sky.
Should I shine tonight? I'll decide in the car.

The road is straight, but my heart wonders, lost.
Through regret and fear , and rain falling hard.
Addiction fulfills at such high a cost,
A line to be crossed? I'll decide in the car
*** addiction, regret, beauty, and aging
Case Catherine Jul 2018
The birds have a song, joyous they sing
as earth disappears beneath their wings.
Each new morning, I wake to their song,
but what must I do to please my God?

A rose will grow each year in its place,
through winter cold and snow, it waits.
The beauty of spring arises from the fog,
but what must I do to please my God?

The stars guide us in season and time.
Hidden by clouds, still they align,
lighting the night when it seems so long.
But what must I do to please my God.
Case Catherine Jul 2018
What great sin have I committed that you
stay so far off? Speak it and I will repent!
For in your silence, it would seem that you
desire me crushed in my loneliness.
Did I not rot in my shame until your
kindness drew me to mournful repentance?
And yet I rot just as I had before
When death you would not allow me to have!
What strides, if any, have been made if still
my darkness returns to me? And what plan
was conceived that dismal night if I am
only to find myself in this place again?
If this darkness again should fill my life
then let me not wake from it one more night!
Case Catherine Jul 2018
Thirsty, there is no water I will drink
Because my thirst will not be satisfied.
Hungry, I can find no food to eat
that will feed the longings of my appetite.
I observe a world painted with love
And I have somehow become colorblind.
There is neither music nor poetry
To stimulate my apathetic mind.
No, even in hearing the sweetest words
from the dearest friends, their voice will not sing
in the way that it so often has done.
All the deepest words of encouragement
Have not laid to rest my discontent.
Case Catherine Jul 2018
What should I do, O God, what should I do?
I know not what you require of me this day!
As I attempt to mend my broken mind,
Why on deaf ears fall the words that I pray?
Or is it silence that you desire?
Then seal my lips and silent I will be!
But only then speak! For in the absence
Of words I am drawn to a restless sleep.
For the Lord I was created, and my heart
Will not find rest until it rests in He
who calls the sun to rise every morning
yet will not allow its warmth to reach me.
Why, in my distress do you stand so far away?
Why on deaf ears fall the words that I pray?
Case Catherine Jul 2018
What do I know that is not already known?
What can I say to convey meaning
Beyond what has already been said? Show
me, anyone, an explanation
to dispute what uncertainty bestows:
knowledge is a vapor, a barren field
waiting endlessly fallow
despite the persistence of man as the
seed in pursuit of wisdom that we sough.
For whom, though he searches, could fathom
The wisdom of heaven or earth below?
And if I search for myself, eminence
To gain, what lasting value have I found?
For in my death, fame is dust upon the ground.

If life is a hunt, once a scavenger,
I, foraging the earth and stars collecting
bits of knowledge left by the avatars
of intellect. For nothing is new, no
thought original, found palaver
to be the language of the naïve, but
poetry was buried in places where
sages stood. In my vain attempt
to inspire with my own words, find their
works to overshadow. Each verse written leaves
readers reminiscent of another.
If wisdom comes in forms of poetry,
then how can I help but plagiarize?
As I uproot them I am left behind.

Can I truly find meaning in the face
Of eternity? In the passing of
a moment my memory is erased.
The footprints I’ve left are lost in
the feet that mark the path through life we take.
A condition cast upon me from birth-
I am but a vessel of dust, still I ache
To ascend into the firmament
Where the clay that seals my eyes shut will break
To the gleam of understanding. I once
negligible to the world, now awake
from the mystery of my misery:
I cannot paint the beauty that I see
So now you give me words though I cannot speak?
Case Catherine Jul 2018
The time has come, so long have I delayed
In saying the arduous goodbye
Like a mourning dove who must now part ways
And leave behind the warmth of summer time.
Autumn befalls me, I now cannot wait
Though I would risk the cold and wait behind
If she were to request that I would stay
And bear the cold of winter by her side.
But to my longing there is no avail
For in my departure she is silent
As a furious river hushed by ice,
Still more powerful than a violent gale
Stealing away all the suns benefit.
So alone I journey into the night.
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