I don't feel much like giving way to tears.
Though I have some good reasons for to cry.
They'd all evaporate and disappear,
leaving my face etched with worried lines

So I'll keep them inside
I'll shut my red and weary eyes
until my heart collapses from the pain
Or until all this passes
this feeling of sheer hopelessness
is somehow sweetly transformed into grace.....

Allowing me to love for all my days

In the night I miss your company
And now I feel more lonesome than before
before I heard your random voice so sweet
sounding so sincere, bright, and what's more.....

I know you are an angel
the way you cleverly fool me
to thinking I'm in danger
of falling in love possibly
The heart is without reason,
desirous of what it needs.
And in some blessed season,
perhaps even a girl unseen.

overhead
are the sun
and the moon
of this galaxy in spin

underneath
are the grass
and the dirt
growing flowers dressed brighter than kings

inside and out
are the laughter
and sounds
of rejoicing with old friends

all around
is the wind
of heaven
which makes every heart to sing

O'kind stranger,
you remind me,
of someone I've seen before.
In a movie,
or on some street.
Maybe right outside my door.

You shake my hand,
firm but gentle,
and bring forth an honest smile.
On a face rather familiar,
then you say,
"Dad, I'm your child."

All confused, I can't remember,
the facts behind what you claim.
So I ask a simple question;
"Sir, please tell me, what's your name?"
"Henry", you say to remind me
then suggest I take a nap.
"Henry", I say, "Can you show me,
where the nearest bed is at?"

"Come with me", you say, "I'll show you."
To which I honest reply:
"Who are you?"
You say, "I'm Henry."
I ask, "You're my son, s'that right?"
"Yes", you answer. "Yes", once more,
to confirm what isn't sure,
as you lead me though the door
to where I've not been before.

Nervously I glance around.
You say, "Dad, please settle down.
You'll feel better if you sleep."
I take your hand, saying,  "Don't leave."
"O'kind stranger, please hold my hand,
'til I drift from this strange land,
into unrecognized dreams;
robbed of all my memories."

I climbed the mountain where wild flowers grew
searching for the cure of gold

It was a rare plant I sought there to find
for my sis lay sick at home

Curative powers which it did contain
would restore Anne's health for sure

The wind whipped around as I did ascend
defiantly I endured

Paint your spirit bright with love.
Rid yourself of every thought
that tells you you're not good enough
to stand up and walk right.

Plant a garden in your heart.
Treasure each rare gift of song.
Give your sweetheart roses daily.
Serenade her nights.

And give no thought to what you're missing now.
because life's waiting to deliver you,
into the light and heaven will allow
your soul to be filled with joy and renewed.

Crawl away from this dead space
of fields dotted with unmarked graves,
where all the bones of the unsaved
now have no claim on you

Take a taxi to the shore.
Sail way, return no more.
Bury all your memories
of times you've been untrue.

And have no care for what you've left behind.
Those things you thought you never could live down
will just be visions vanished from your mind,
which will find peace at last and be made sound.

Proudly standing in the light,
she waves when you are within sight.
You marvel at her beautiful,
revealed angelic form.

Tears have dried up from your eyes.
You'll forget the reasons why
they rolled down when they were cried.
You wont hurt anymore.

And try not to explain the situation.
Nor all the pain your heart's endured and worn.
Heaven itself will be the explanation.
When death is vanquished and your love is born.

I fit just fine and mix it up,
blend in with anyone
don't need a name, my age is old,
I've been around some

I'm capable of joy and mirth
to you what is it worth?
I tend to laugh when others do,
a countenance well-rehearsed

I turn puke-green when sickness strikes
and yellow in the sun
ashen grey when death arrives
I'm a chameleon

People share their grief for fun
and shed tears for relief
offer up condolences
the process isn't brief

Me, I'm always in a hurry
to exit these scenes
I would apologize if they
were not so deserving

Scaly hide and shifty-eyed
I'm nervous when alone
I like it when there's folks around
who's hearts I make my own

I cannot touch the ones that love
and trust providence still,
I make most men to lose their minds
and act upon my will

I roam the whole world to and fro
and won't stop 'til I'm done
devouring the empty souls
of harlots and their sons

The thing you have in common with your brother,
is that you hate all that he does quite differently than you.
And that you're not humble enough to bother,
to work for peace that's good enough for two.

foiled again, such utter failure
our minds hatched plans broken by
the strong arms of our jailors
guarding all our souls tonight
who will spring us from these prisons?
lead us out into the light?
we're accustomed to the shadows
and the loss of our sight

we had schemes the law frustrated
we had no real chance to win
for the dance was orchestrated
and our missteps did us in
time elapsed and history faded
all our names died in the wind
with the shame of being hated
and the memory of our sins

In towers raised high to reach the sky
men forsake wisdom until time arrives
to pass from this land and into the night
from this world of goodness that's given them life

In richest palace, both king and queen
struggle with sick pride, struggle with greed
as they don gold crowns and sit on their thrones
their far poorer subjects die starved and die cold

Historic records, accounts of deeds
speak of the bravery of souls in need
faced with injustice, they did raise the sword,
and fought to bring down their oppressive lords

In graveyards silent and buried deep
everyone here will lie fast asleep
there'll be no mourners and no one to weep
heaven and hell will hold their full keep

I love the stillness of the mornings with you
when there's nowhere we need to go to find elation's gift
when words you speak communicate nothing I need to hear
save for those lovely tones expressing your desire to kiss

Baby's got wings, she's a dragonfly
claims to have dome things nobody tries
says she likes magic and movies on crime
I'm grateful she isn't mine

Last time I saw her was at the club
said she had gone there to mix it up
with the fine gentlemen her figure caught
she asked me to not interrupt

So I will leave her alone
she'd tear the flesh from off my bones
my skeleton would be a trophy she'd toss
into the gutter, forever lost

One day she'll  fall from her sky
to her every guy's just a meal, just a fly
I know when I'm gone, she wont bother to cry
but her heart of stone will die

early spring light, trying to wake me,
from a dying dream
in a small room, no space to move
I can hardly breathe
in my mind the time just flies
all I hear are screams
I'll accept the fact that I can,
silence them by no means

I'm drawing laughter
laughter from a well so deep
I give chase
but I can't catch her
she floats away like steam

my soul impacted, my eyes they've captured
a scene so ****** red
the news plays day-long, it can't be turned off
I sit and hold my head
though mercy follows, goodness is hollow
it never finds my place
I plead in darkness, "Forgive me lady,
if I've been your disgrace."

So I'm drawing laughter
to drown the tears of this day
still don't know if I will find her
or simply run away

My fingers trace the outline of your lips
I wish somehow I could forget your kiss
This photograph of you
is making me feel blue
since from me you're a thousand miles removed

Why did you go away?
Why did you go away
so suddenly the wind and God alone knew you were gone?
I had nothing to say
what could I really say?
You didn't care enough to stay with me, so now we're done

And your cold, irreverant act
when you said you'd be back
in just a little while is history
and every warm embrace
that we shared in disgrace
has almost been erased from memory

My fingers trace the outline of your lips
oh how I wish they never told a lie
like when you said you loved me
and even though I cried,
the next day you left with another guy

This photograph of you
is making me feel blue
'*** I know we will never kiss again, so why pretend?
There's just one thing to say
now that you're far away
please don't ever come back here and let us not be friends

The lizard speaks a word of warning to the fly at midnight:
"Quit your hovering my friend. Come now and take a respite
from your restless swooshing' round those porcelain plates, delightful.
The ****-sapiens aren't kind and they'll never invite you."

"You'll never sample one small taste of all their scrumptious morsels.
Much less get your belly filled before the swatter scores you.
The old **** in the tie-dye wields it skillfully like zen.
If he was even half as good at playing guitar, I'd listen."

But now I do not wish to bore you with restrictive wisdom.
Besides it's getting rather late and I've just had a vision.
I've seen that through your myriad eyes, one meal is just like ten.
So shut them tightly now and we will play at make pretend."

Envision yourself on that steak, just lapping up the juices.
Get to work efficiently and chew it rather ruthless.
Atta boy!, just keep it going, you are almost through.
Now we'll play another game. It's called, I'm eating you."

No I'm not yours, and I'll never be.
Yes I am sure, that you're not for me.
Thanks for the roses, they're quite beautiful.
I'll place them in the nicest vase that I own.
But don't get to dreaming that my hand you'll hold.
Soon as you're done with your coffee, go home.

Please don't you come around my door again.
We're not to be lovers, hence we can't be friends.
I'll stay here alone without your company.
'*** no, I'm not yours, and I'll never be.

He was found floating sideways on an early April morning..
Was buried in the backyard with no eulogy at all.
An alley cat did notice when the goldfish was interred.
He licked his claws and purred real soft, saliva on his jaws.

When the owner of the fish was finished undertaking,
his dear consoling mother called him in for lemonade.
That's when the feline, now quite hungry, sprang up into action.
He quickly jumped the six foot fence to hurriedly invade.

Lightning-fast claws dug the dirt that covered up the fish.
Dead and dry, delectable, the cat could not resist.
The orange tabby proceeded to scarf it down at last.
But something went horribly wrong and he began to gasp.

For air his lungs could not intake as he choked on his snack,
which once he'd proudly coveted, now wished he could retract.
In his mark to not be seen by any human eyes,
he forgot one basic rule to always dining fine.
Chew before you swallow food of any Earthly form.
Before collapsing fatally, he knew he'd not be mourned.

Knee-deep water
knee-high socks
I hope it doesn't rise much higher

waist-high water
what a shock
all meteorologists are liars

They said it wouldn't rain
but then the flood came
and swept my cabin away

Now I'm up to my neck
but oh what the heck
I'm alive so I need not complain

I'm afloat on a branch
so I give thanks
to God above whom nature obeys

And though death surrounds me
the river can't drown me
if He says it's not meant to be

All those unlucky folks
who lost more than their homes
when the ultimate price they paid

Are singing in heaven
with their saintly brethren
if to that same God they prayed

Life is a mist
and man's time is short
on Earth where all is subject to change

And he's seemingly sport
for a non-gentle sort
of a natural world so strange

Flowers in the vase
flowers in the pond
flowers in the arms of my lovely one
she's holding a bouquet
bought for Mary's sake
she's going to greet the ******
with her bright offering today

She'll pray the rosary twice
for days of loss and nights of grief
those petals delicate,
the ****** never sees
my baby loves me dear
protection she entreats Maria
that we'll always remain
under her watchful gaze

But the flowers at her feet all wilt and die.
Holy lady give my girl a sign.
Then I too will offer up the same.
Fresh cut flowers for you Notre Dame.

cruelly marred by loss of flight
wings have crumbled set alight
ashes rained down from on high
what held him aloft has died

winds blasted his once strong wings
the source of his pride they'd been
now they caused him phantom pains
falsely sensing they remained

all the lives that he did save
from an accidental grave
and the guardianship he gave
could not help deliver him

his reward proved quite unkind
but to his fate he's resigned
yet some nights he still does cry
for his God to end his time

when some others soaring by
ask him why he will not try
when the air currents just seem
perfect for a flying dream

Someday I may just trade
my mind in for a *****
a fool's crusade I'll undertake,
a dragon shall I slay

And with it's scaly hide,
I'll fashion boots so fine
the nobles shall tremble with fear
whenever I walk by

Outside the city gates
my enemies shall quake
their ranks I'll decimate
their heads shall sit on pikes

Of women, gold, and ale
I will then take my pick
the choicest and the best
to hell with all the rest

My years shall be so kind
with scores of concubines
my darling wife and queen
shall bear me children five

George, Ringo,, John, and Paul
I will give names to all
the last one I'll detest
him Elton shall I call

And when my kingdom's crumbling
and minstrels sing sad tales
I'll slay some other stupid beast
then gladly drink my ale

patience is waiting for nothing
lifetimes of emptiness pass
impatience fueled by desire and need
lashes at each passing chance

strength strikes the anvil and sparks fly
sword's crafted well, heads will roll
weakness just cowers in corners
it's decapitation's foretold

wisdom takes comfort in finding
a little more patience each day
to deal with disastrous pinings
of foolish men after their ways

beauty's the strength of a lover
in silence attracting her mate
ugliness with love won't bother
there's nothing but bones on her plate

Frank Worm grew large and distinguished.
He was this casket's tribal leader,
in all his white and slimy, bloated glory.
He ate most of his appointed corporal meals in elegance.
Even had first dibs on the poor *******'s brain.
This delicacy made him smart.
And with the votes of Crumble and Weezy,
two of his friends on the New Maggot Council;
he was elected party president.
Then sure enough the whole body was consumed.
And at last, even poor Frank rotted away in his waste.

the ghosts are dancing
in the open fields
happy to be shadows
never wanting to feel
the weight of physical bodies again
the suffering it deals
these spectres seek forevermore
to just remain half real

the ghosts are crossing
the final corridor
overjoyed at not being followed
by Earthly fears anymore
slowly they become less hollow
after entering heaven's door
and dance with new and perfect bodies
that won't suffer anymore

You are succulent and round
you're the hare and I'm the hound
rumors have been circling 'round
that you've put on extra pounds

And my table now is set
there's a place reserved for one
you've got room to roam and run
I'm the one who holds the gun

Napkins, forks, and knives are out
I'll scoop some bites right on in
to my watering mouth a treat
soon well done you'll be indeed

Shiny utensils I own
separate the meat from bones
you're a veritable feast
thank you for the grub, bunny

We are all just colors
flying in the solar
system of the dollar
if you care, then holler
at the high and lowly
the beautiful and homely
what's real is more fantastic
than any fiction is

We are seekers guided
by an outrageous deity
from Him we are all hiding
His voice booms and we quake
in fear that we're releasing
like neurotoxins kissing
creating warring babies
that rob us of our bliss

Freedom comes with loving
love repairs our hatred
what we hold is sacred
in cabinets of time
empty them of garbage
of sad and forlorn longing
that always leaves us hanging
to life unsatisfied

Death comes with a price
no kidding, look around
and take some last advice
from every plotted ground
harsh like violent crimes
hideousness hides
and scares a soul half-blind
until courage is found

Hatchling...
breaks through the shell
watching...
sun bathe his world
in bright yellow hues he is unaccustomed to
hatchling...
lost in the blue

Catching...
cold morning rain
scratching...
his head to gain
a clue as to what this phenomena means
hatchling...
new on the scene

Leaving...
nest far behind
weaving...
broken he finds
sweet mother slain by the jaws of the night
grieving...
caught up in fright

Hiding...
in the underbrush
trying...
to be still and hushed
so he won't fall victim to foxes who'd munch
on his poor bones if he became their lunch
hatchlings...
endangered bunch

You're in a room full of wicked servants
without a clue as to what you're doing here.
One of them tells you to go light the furnace.
And then he vanishes into thin air.

Your shaking hand holds a used book of matches.
You tear one out and then you strike up a flame.
At seeing this everyone starts laughing,
then suddenly convulse in terrible pain.

At your right hand a thousand have fallen.
No memory of them will remain on the Earth.
To your left countless mourners are crawling,
loudly cursing the hour of their birth

Then all at once you're in pitch black darkness.
The floor beneath you tilts, you start to slide.
Until finally you find you are falling.
There's wailing sounds of fear on every side.

You search your memory banks to recall an old name,
that long ago you heard, or was it a dream?
You have a notion that if you could remember
and call it out, you would be rescued and freed.

Freed from this nightmare world without any ending,
and spared from an eternal suffering.
That fire you started up for warmth is burning.
It's underneath you now, searing your skin.

Inside your pounding head a voice starts shouting,
"He was a fisherman but you're no fish!
He was a shepherd but you're not some lamb!
You are a coward and an evil man!"

Then in a harsher tone if possible still,
"Such is the price for your free will.
I myself had no such thing.
Only the judgement of a God and a king."!!

A nameless child runs fast
down the road to ruin
cursing life all the time
everything and everyone
to survive she must be tough
and never give much thought at all
to where she will be at the end
of her sad, worthless life

She finds there's only misery
wherever she does go
she's always tired and lonely
in the arms of strange men
who pay to be her friend a while
in return for good deeds
she performs in some dark rooms
of certain cheap motels

And she knows ......
the devil's got her number
tonight if she went under
she wouldn't care at all
Yet she wonders .....
if she'll find absolution
beyond this world's confusion
and if God's real at all

But some cold night embracing
some man seeking her pleasure
from her own lips there will escape
the slightest breath of prayer
conceived in pain, her faith is born
of ultimate despair
exhaling a redemptive call
"God help me if you're there."

you wear your honeysuckle rose
picked form a field where we eloped
on your straw hat, blue and elegant
while your new sewn dress looks good

but its hem is collecting briars
what a mess these fields unknown
but with you nothing is really new
and that fact is clearly shown

I know we've been here long ago
I've dreamt of this some time before
during nights so dark and old
which God in mercy brought to my shore

And a light rain starts to fall
the rainbow says it's almost gone
you turn your face towards the sky
your lips are now no longer dry
the cool rain washes over us
we kiss and hold each other tight
the day will dark when leaves the light
but this time we've spent feels so right

it's a new time
in an old rhyme
I wonder what is real
and what is half believed
but I let these questions go
when I'm with you
no love is old

yes you know, we're one not two.
and I love honeysuckle you.

fenced in property lines
construction men with busy lives
their bulldozers and tractors
are moving rocks and sand
building cheap apartments
for those folks with empty hands

I am wondering
if they will sometimes smile
or just stare out of windows
as I walk by
I am wondering
if I knocked on their doors
if they'll treat me right
or simply say come back no more

today I saw the aftermath of an accident
as I walked along a busy street
two cars had been totaled, it was an ugly scene
the driver from the first car stood bleeding in the heat
some emt's were taking care of her more pressing needs
while from the second vehicle, some firemen retrieved
the body of a dead man, they covered him with sheets
I walked away in silence, not shocked in the least

And I am wondering
if an apparition's ghost
could carry all the pain they hold
from this world to the next
yes I am wondering
about coincidence
and being in the wrong place
right on time for accidents

I am wondering
what all this trouble's meant....

Exactly what is happening? ',
she asked, ' why so unnerved?
You can tell me anything
Let's for a while converse '

I planned on saying those words to her,
this had to be the day
to let her know just how I felt
but couldn't quite convey

For when I set to tell it plain,
the phrase would not come out
into her gorgeous eyes I gazed
and then instead announced:

I' care about you, think about you,
laugh like mad each time we meet
I confide in your and trust you
You're the one I need '

'In other words you love me',
she said with brightest smile
'I've been longing just to hear this
for the longest while'

'But since you're too chicken to say so,
it will have to do
that I be the one to first say
that I love you too

Don't believe the girl when she tells you she went
against her better nature and did you wrong.
Don't believe her when she promises the world.
She will never deliver. Nobody's that strong.

*** she would take you out to sea.
And drown you there in make believe.
And no one here can be set free
by imaginary love.

Don't believe the guy when he buys you the ring,
in fair exchange for your heart strings.
There's nothing in his offering,
you're not really paying for.

*** though he takes you to the moon,
and brings the stars clear into view;
the oxygen runs out too soon,
with imaginary love.

I'm tense, intense
the forest is dense
but through those dark trees
I spy with my lens
the oceans are warming,
truly condensed
tired of roaring
and foaming with strength

For power is waning
all things grow tired
where lie the signposts
of my old desires?
cold in the embers
of my former fires
from conquests extinguished
and joys all expired

Oh see now, I'm dying
how melodramatic
I forgot to live
in my time of despair
"You fool!", cries the phoenix
rising from ashes
death's but a rumor
though no one is spared

So nevertheless,
through weary travails
there's still a bright spark
to lift countenance high
when bruised back is broken,
mortality choking
the life from my body,
I'll reach for the sky

I do not relate well
I have no relationships
do not relate well
I have no relations
I'm trying to catch my breath
cancelling my membership
from this sad human race
I don't fit in

Here in my frail skin
I find no comfort
nobody sees me
no one comes 'round
I have a history
checkered past misery
perhaps it's best to
be left alone

Sometimes I'm thinking
maybe I'll reach out
it's all well-wishing
nevermind now
who is an ally?
who is a lover?
I have dwelled long here
no hand to hold

And I'm old, yes I'm old
in this unkind school enrolled
taking notes, I suppose
that some day I'll find a hope
to express the longing in my soul
to some kind lady then
and it's not salvation I seek
in a person, but a friend

You know I'm running
'*** I'm unwanted
I am numbered
amongst the dead
clearly haunted
like some mansion
filled with prized possessions
but so full of dread

and yes I'm tired
of being wired
sitting in on conversations
for evidence
to give an account
in God's courthouse
on the day I leave this Earth
to face my judgement

I'm taking my heart away from you
you never care for it like you should
I'm never going back to your house blue
not even if I'm in your neighborhood

I hope someday soon your face will leave
through the back of my mind or the top of my head
***' there's one thing here that fills us with dread
it's just a little thing, a little thing called pain

wherever you are, wherever that may be
is so very far, too far from me
still I hope you shine forever free
and live the kind of life God meant for you to lead

it's early to rise and late to dream again
so long till we fly far from this place
***' there's one thing here that drives us insane
it's just a little thing, a little thing called pain

I'm taking my heart away from you
***' I could be someone you never knew
and it's likely that we'd never make it through
'*** you're somebody whom I could not get to

it's a season for this, a time to forget
that we even kissed and now just regret
that we ever met but could not sustain
the love we saved for this little thing called pain

You'll be fine, this I know
that wherever you may go
there'll be stars you can count
there will be hands you can hold
I just wish for a time
we could walk side by side
gazing up at the sky
leaving sorrows far behind

When there's weakness in your bones
from such hurt this world inflicted
and your spirit cries at night
for the beauty that is gone
think of nothing dear but God
and what your heart knows of freedom
till the radiance of heaven
grants it's tender kiss of faith

I can't promise paradise
ready-made without a fight
but I want to let you know
that I'd hold you until daylight
when the newness of tomorrow
will make sure you're celebrating
standing miles away from sadness
knowing peace and joy at last

Love is yours
It has ever been I'm sure
It calls you by name.
Night and day, night and day.
To come in from the rain.
To make it plain and clear,
that love is yours.
It has ever been my dear.

I asked a wise man questions once
He answered 'I don't know
'Well then, who does?, I shot back
He dismissed me to go
up onto some mountainside
where cold and shrill winds blow
sure I might gain knowledge there
at the cost of sorrow

Insight to the ways of nature, life and death and time
Mastery over creation's intricate designs
Power to fell tallest trees or move clouds in the sky
But even on the summit, I'd feel low without love's high

Go inform the prisoners
this is their last day
soon they will be rounded up
tell them all to pray
idle words of comfort
will not profit them
when their sandalled footsteps,
to the sands ascend

Long have they awaited
for their hour to call
heaven's hosts to lend wings
when their bodies fall
see the chains they're dragging
and their tattered rags
the fools rejoice to wear them
for the Son of Man

The convicts are paraded
the audience can see
that their foolish ideas,
impossible beliefs
are scoffed at by Nero
and all of Rome indeed
gods and men are laughing
at these martyrs to be

They won't beg for mercy
the emperor knows well
they won't deny their God and King
who's name they lastly yell
two hundred men and women
new converts to the way
were executed just last week
not one renounced their faith

Many more will go today
down to the dust and grave
in their pens the lions wait
for blood they salivate
set loose, the beasts lunge at their prey
who fall praising His name
"long live Jesus!", they cry out
before they're mauled and maimed

Yes many more are going today
to St.Peter they're drawn
their spirits live in freedom now
the light of heaven's dawn
for as the screams all fade away
while evil thinks it's won
out of the ****** colliseum
God's own rise up in song

Mary lay your roses down this time
I know they are not really mine
you picked them from your garden for another guy
don't try and captivate me with your eyes

you hold me
you scold me
when I don't play by your rules
it's frayed
yet I'm swayed
to believe our love is cool
but there is really nothing
to be hanging around here for
so Mary lay your roses on the floor

Mary, it's a burden to be led around
by the hand at all times to be safe and sound
I'll cross them on my own
these streets where I am from
I thought you were my lover not my mom

You're all in
I'm folding
I don't think my hand matches yours
tomorrow
I'll be gone
it's taken so long to be sure
to realize that you and I
will never be quite right
so Mary lay your roses in the light

In the noon sun of this wasteland
my canteen's gone, I am fading
one more dune crossed, vultures circling
up above me they are waiting
what's before me? is it truly
an oasis? I am praying
that I'll be saved
from collapsing
into blackness
evermore

But my hopes die
mirage, I cry
my parched body finally falls
before the end
strong winds blow
and I am hit by sandstorm walls
could this just be some delusion?
do I hear my angel call?
or is heaven all well-wishing
nothing beyond here at all.?

By the candlelight of prayer
the monk knelt by the wick
a nasty over-passing host
made sure that he did slip
and caused the flame of meditaition
to leap and catch his robes
then laughed like mad and teased
that fire purifies the soul

It's not that we were afraid
of being bright, pigs, cool, or gay
it's worse
we were midliners
middle of the road
monkeys in the middle
the rubber ball always flew above our heads
beyond our outstretched arms
two inches
the span of a universe to a miss
the yearning of touch for us kids
we always ******
medium built
medium length hair
medium length nose
experimenting with tried and true formulaic expressions
set before us by the happy mediums of the art world
full of holes
our brains seeped out
set on fire
then stamped out
one day I dreamt I held the ball in blind fury
the idiot older kid doubled over
wretching on my brown shoes
moment of glory
I punched him in the gut
I clutched the previously elusive orb
wearing a toothy grin
I was no monkey in the middle then

I could stand to use a change
could stand to use more than one
had I the courage to stand in place
the courage not to run
from all the trials  this life will bring
that leave me weary and worrisome
ever yearning for hope to spring
and better days to come

I'm fascinated by the ebb and flow
the shifting tides of reap and sow
the gathering in and letting go
of all I am and all I know
And as the moon waxes and grows
I'm caught in webs of intrigue so
in bitter mourning I sorrow
over the state of my soul

Walking back home tonight,
I was approached by two so-called Elders.
Envoys of God, out in the mission field
looking for a would-be convert.
Wouldnt you know it?----me.
It was dusk and I was tired.
All the birds were roosting in their nests.
Why the **** weren't we?
Have you seen our type before?,
one of them asked me in such similar words.
As if they had just arrived here from red Mars.
The other had a bloodshot eye
and a cheekbone bruised dark purple.
When I asked him the reason why,
he said, "soccer accident."
I said "******" as I thought '*******'.
Some ogre probably decked him in a fiery dispute
over some finer point of scripture.
Guess he didn't wanna hear.
Hell!, I didn't want to hear.
But what choice did I have?
They were more desperate to accomplish their part
in the great commission, than was my need to "feel" it.
We exchanged pleasantries.
Elder number one said his name was Whitford. He was from Utah.
The other hailed from Idaho.
I had just eaten some bad french-fries twenty minutes earlier.
Then after a quickie sidewalk sermon,
I again started for home.
A funny thing dawned on me then.
If he really had an ounce of wit he would have a Ford,
instead of moving on foot or on some silly bike.
Could cover more ground in less time.
More bibles for the masses without ears.
Then the devil tortured my grisly brain,
implanting a vision of Elder number two punching me in the face
in vengeful spite. Enlightenment. Oh the price we pay

Is the girl you're with a good lover?
Is she someone really fine?
Or do you long for another?
Have you somebody else in mind?
Maybe your muse is beside you.
Or it could be you left her behind.
Perhaps you have still left to find her
to open up doors in your heart and mind.

Where beauty reigns and lives
to give you vision true,
so that you'll see the meaning of love
and what it can do.
An angel waits for you.

But it's all just a waste of time
if you only sing lullabies;
if you fall asleep beside a pretty doll
to whom you are not inclined
to bare your soul to in the night
when the world you share seems dark;
when you only hold her for temporal comfort
so your pain won't seem too stark.
Let her go. Set free your hearts.
Search for love elsewhere. Depart.

Nails stained yellow from nicotine's hello
hair white and so thin, whatever stlli grows
skin wearing clothes suited for an old fellow
without a  friend  in the world nor a home

Arm flesh all cracking from medicine thinning
blood til that blood leaks from tiniest of cuts
Tethered to madness, heavy-hearted soldier
fighting a war that's already been lost

Age fallen  on him  like dog years times seven
no hope of rising from his wheeled seat
no pride left in him, weeps at all hours
and does not care either way now who sees

I come around now, each time embarrassed
at my own lack of concern for his needs
sadly however, he's mostly a stranger
whom I will visit when moved by pity

I wish to God things were different between us
that I could say  'I love you' earnestly
each time I tell him, it's only to spare him
the pain of his heart's  shattered billionth piece

Cyanide capsule in the mouth of a ******
roses in the hands of a man with no wife
blue prison walls repainted dull grey
birds take flight in a thundering sky

Yellow tie hubris in the staff rooms of madness
expletives ring out, they're competing for cash
speaker of the house eats a bologne sandwich
ten million die at the drop of a hat

Patriotic songs blare out of a jukebox
some punk shoots a birdie as he walks on by
a little kid inspired by the rebellious gesture
salutes the flag then starts to cry

I met Suzanna by the well
she tried to crack my spine
it was her greed's desire thus
to take me on a ride
down into that same-said well
where water turns to wine
after we had drawn it up
and after we'd imbibed

She had her hair all covered up
beneath a prayer shawl
given to her by her mother
in the early fall
on a year of jubilee
where debts are not at all
forgiven by the old rabbis
who kiss the wailing wall

She was unrelenting
as we passionately kissed
her mother saw us in our throes,
she ran outside and hissed
on an abacus she counted
up to number six
before she reached the seventh bead
Suzanna broke my wrists

Then things all went from bad to worse
she threw me down the well
my sweetheart who was sweet no more
said, "You can go to hell!
Mother's right. All men are ****,
liars, theives, and bums.
You desired not to wed me
yet still ******* plum."

I blushed and remained hushed,
trying hard not to despair
I thought perhaps if I feigned death
those two monsters up there
would not wake up the elders
who would speedily declare
my guilt to everyone in town
and stone me with no care

I shivered in the cold water
it came up to my neck
I prayed that God would forgive Suz
and help me to forget
every instance of her falsehood
and betrayal's debt
a long time certainly would pass
before I loved again

I heard the footsteps of these witches
as they went away
how much time I spent inside the well
I cannot say
I heard Suzanna's voice trail off,
"I got that poor fool's ring.
It'll fetch a hefty price.
We'll sell it in the Spring."

Thin laughter echoed off the walls
of where they thought me dead
I felt only regret inside
for all I did expect
from this girl robber I so loved
in all sincerity
who will sell our engagement ring
next spring in jubilee.

Come and show me what you're made of
give me that stuff that I need
just the smallest taste of your love
helps to put my soul at ease
come here girl and pull me closer
let me feel your passion breathe
brand new life into my bones now
on your lust I want to feed
every inch of your sweet body
is a mystery to explore
that attracts and pulls me closer
and persuades to know you more
your warmth...
your touch...
I groan, you blush...
the fire's on
it's all too much
your lips...
your taste...
our long embrace...
your skin...
your hair...
your eyes...
We're There!!