i couldn't make you love me
as much as i tried
gave you the best of me
loved you with everything I had
i didn't hold anything back
but you could never love me
even if you tried
it just wasn't in you
i just wasn't the one
not for you
you needed someone else
you wanted something else
not what i gave to you
i wish i'd known better
enough to walk away sooner
the flashbacks of me begging
you to stay with me
still haunt me to this day
i still can't believe i acted that way
i can't believe how desperate i was
for you to love me
as much as i loved you
unrequited love is a *****
it hurts like nothing else
i'd give anything to take it all back
save my love for someone else
someone who can love me back
as much as i love them
or maybe even more
enough to make up for your part

Good day Sir!
Please kindly help me.
I am lost.
I am looking for the road to salvation.
Where there's aspiration and elevation.
Please point me in the right direction.
Where can I find real happiness?
Where can I stumble upon real love?
Do I turn left or right?
Go straight on and continue to fight?
Until I see the light?
Please help me kind sir, I've been seeking all my life.
I've been to the after life.
Searching and pleading.
Bruised, broken and bleeding.
Knelt in the middle of the road and prayed,
But it seems I have been betrayed,
By God's word and my faith.
I've been sent on a wild goose chase.
I've been lurking for days.
On this path to deliverance.
In pursuit of paradise.
I have been lost for so long.
Trying to find where I belong.
I've met demons who led me astray.
And angels who helped pave my way.
I'm exhausted from walking,
I've grown weary from wandering.
My soles are covered in blisters.
People mocking me, I hear their whispers.
"Look at her shoes.
Is this the life she would choose?"
They are whispering so softly,
Yet so loud.
I am beginning to question my sound mind.
People are cruel, yet you seem kind.
Please help me.
I am sorry to disturb your peace,
You're so lucky to have found it.
Have you traveled this route before?
Is there a shorter way? Tell me more.
My feet refuse to carry me any further.
My heart is as light as a feather.
I've run out of breath.
I'm on the verge of death.
Please say you can help me.
I am lost.
I am looking for the road to salvation.
Where there's aspiration and elevation.
Please point me in the right direction.
I've been told that I am the chosen one.
That I shall break the chains of generations to come.
But how can I?
I am so lost.

Self-healing
Self-awareness
Self-discovery
Self-discipline
Self-love
Self-acceptance
Tis all about self
It all begins with thy self

Selfish
Self-sabotage
Self-harm
Self-destruction
Low self-esteem
Self-disbelief
Tis all about self
It all ends with thy self

Ubuhle bakho took my breath away
Your smile hypnotized me
Amehlo wakho rocked my world
Your sweet voice made the earth move
It was on that day
Ngala suku when I first laid eyes on you
Such beauty
Such charm
Such exquisiteness
Skin so fair it glittered
I swear on that day
Ngala suku as your feet touched the ground I heard the angels cry
I was marveled by such style
Such class, such excellence
My heart leapt in excitement
As I adored your elegance
Your lips had me enchanted
So soft, so sublime...
I couldn't believe my eyes
It felt like a dream only it was in bright daylight
I swear on that day
Ngala suku I saw the sun smile at your angelic face
A body so divine, well-refined
Ravishing, breath-taking, just splendid
I saw the clouds follow you as you paced in a rhythm
The day brightened as your I felt your presence
I swear on that day
Ngala suku even the trees and the birds were astonished by your striking image
Your brown eyes mesmerized me
Your aura, your aroma, your walk...
Captivated me
I swear on that day
Ngala suku I saw God's most artistic design
A splitting image of supremacy
I've never seen such perfection
Except for on that day
Ngala suku when I first saw you

Does loneliness ****?
Is it fatal?
Surely I'll be dead soon.
Or I'll jump off a hill.

Does loneliness talk?
Can it hold a conversation?
I'm certain I can hear it's voice.
I do nothing but sulk.

Is it a disease?
I feel sick.
It's like I'm going mad.
When does it cease?

Is it possible to feel so empty?
When there's billions of people.
Could I possibly die alone?
With no one to save me.

Hey! Friend.
I know we haven't talked in a while.
It's been a minute.
I've been so distant.
I've been so caught up.
I've been avoiding catching up.
Because catching up means:"How are you?"
"How have you been?"
For the life in me,
I don't know how to answer that question.
Because I am not okay.
But I don't know how to say,
That I'm not okay.
That life is a hurricane.
That all I feel is pain.
That I am holding on by a thread.
That I wish I was dead.
I don't want to burden you,
With all this negative energy around me.
I'd rather you don't know how I am,
And assume that I am okay.
Than me telling you that I am not okay.
Don't ask me how I am doing.
Don't ask me how I have been.
Cause I can't give you that answer.
Not without falling apart.
Not without breaking my heart.
It hurts.
Everything hurts.
And I can't describe it.
I can't express it.
I am numb.
I have succumbed,
To the darkness.
To the sadness.
So forgive me, but I can't tell you how I am.
I can't tell you how I am really.
I can't tell you that it's better.
Or that I'm no longer bitter,
About things that hurt me in the past.
That I never talk about, but haven't healed from.
I can't tell you cause you'd expect that I've healed by now.
I've moved on by now.
It happened years ago.
But I haven't.
And I can't tell you why.
Simply because I don't know why.
So I'm sorry if you feel like I have changed.
I've become estranged.
But there's emotions I can't put into words.
There's demons I can't escape from.
So it's better if I don't mention them.
So I avoid the question: "How are you?"
When I see those words, my mind starts racing.
Because that's when I remember that I am not okay.
I don't know if I will ever be okay.
I'm sorry if this hurts you.
But trust me, it hurts me more.
It hurts me that my world is so gloomy.
Unfortunately this is my reality.
And I embrace the darkness.
I confide in the darkness.
I'm friends with the darkness.
I don't expect you to understand.
And I'm not asking for your sympathy.
All I ask is that you don't ask me how I am.
Because I don't know how am.
Don't ask me how things are going,
Cause things aren't going.
I'm in a stationary ship.
Until I'm in a brighter place, mentally.
Emotionally.
Physically.
I can't tell you how I am.
So please, don't ask me how I am.

Spiritual awakening.
Is this the end or the beginning?

I'm confused.
Deepest parts of me bruised.

I've lost all that used to matter.
My mind is in clutter.

What is the meaning of this?
What kind of sick game is this?

I'm being torn from the inside out.
Chills from sincere drought.

I long for clarity.
For prosperity.

I don't seek popularity.
I don't need charity.

I'm stuck in solidarity.
Stripped off my identity.

Who am I ?
How do I get by?

I'm all alone.
Every one has come and gone.

Spiritual awakening.
Rude awakening.

I'm barely breathing.
Like a baby teething.

I'm in so much pain.
I'm going insane.

I'm losing my mind.
I can see but I'm blind.

Open my third eye already.
I am more than ready.

I pray you heal
From whatever ordeal
Whatever happened
That had your spirit dampened
May you find deep healing
May you find deep meaning
May your spirit be free
Free to the highest degree
May you never again feel unbearable pain
May you never again shed tears from strain
I pray you have all the strength
Enough to defeat even death
May you be mighty and strong
May you live long
To tell your tale
And drink the best ale
May others be inspired by your story
I pray you see all your glory
Above all,
I pray you find happiness
Please hang in there
And know that I am here

Azania, malibuye izwe lwethu.
Mayibuye iAfrika, izwe lwethu

Africa, where have you gone?
Africa, what happened to you?

We breathe poverty.
27 years into liberty.
Yet, not much has changed.
The black man remains estranged.
No land, no wealth.
No access to health.
The black man is educated and unemployed.
His voice is meaningless and void.
The black man is a criminal.
Not a trustworthy individual.

Azania. Libuya nini izwe lwethu?
Ibuya nini iAfrika yethu?

Africa, where have you gone?
Africa, what happened to you?

Where is the black child's fortune?
When does he get to sing a happy tune?
When does he move out of the small shack?
When does he get his ancestors' land back?
No one will hire him, he doesn't own a car.
He lives too far.
He's below the par.
Where he's from, there's no tar.
His shoes pick up clouds of dust.
Victim to a system so unjust.

Azania. Libuya nini izwe lwethu?
Ibuya nini iAfrika yethu?

Africa, where have you gone?
Africa, what happened to you?

Our mothers know nothing but pain.
They wipe kitchens spotless, all in vain.
Our fathers toil in the gardens.
Prayers have become burdens.
Government officials care for nothing but their pockets.
While we cry tears filling buckets.
Is this the Africa we fought for?
Is this the freedom we fought for?
Africa is singing a burning weep.
Her sorrows run deep.

She is asking, "what about my children?"
"What will become of them?"
She can't bear to see it.
Unite Africa with her children.
She longs to see them prosper.
Africa loves her children.
They don't deserve to suffer any longer.
From the hands of the ruthless ruler.
They are her pride and joy.
She wants to see them enjoy,
Her rich soil.
Profit from her natural oil.
Her pure silver.
Her dazzling diamonds.
Her excellent copper.
Her soft gold.

Abantwana base Afrika mabaphile.
Inhlupheko yase Afrika mayiphele.

iAfrika mayibuye.
Mayibuye iAfrika.

Hope?
Oh, he left me.
I wasn't good enough for him.
Left, said he was coming back.
Never saw him again.
I tried to keep Hope by my side.
Nothing I didn't do for Hope.
I told Hope that I loved him.
That I needed him.
But he vanished.
Couldn't bear the mere sight of me.
Couldn't bear to hear me say his name over and over.
"I have Hope!"
"Hope is all I need"
I kept on proclaiming.
Looked back, and he was gone.
Didn't text me back.
Didn't bother to phone me back.
Left me there all alone.
Hanging by a thread. Me!
Asking, "has anyone seen Hope?"
"Where is Hope?"
Never laid my eyes upon him again.
Never felt close to him again.
I cried so many tears.
After so many years,
I still miss Hope.
Hope was my friend.
I wish he was still my friend.
After I showed him that I believed in him,
He left.
Now I'm left with despair.
He never leaves.
He's always here.
I need my Hope back.
Does he know I still think of him?
If you happen to cross paths with him,
Please tell him that I miss him.
I miss when we were younger.
We shared so much.
I remember his soft touch.
His kiss.
His embrace.
We would talk dreams all day long.
He made them feel real.
Possible.
Nothing I couldn't do.
Long as I had him.
I'll never know why he left.
I don't know where to find him.
He's a sweet memory now.
I'm with Despair now.
He's not any fun.

Spirit take the lead
Let my heart no longer bleed
Save me from falling
Make known my calling
I long for peace
For this heaviness to cease
I long for salvation
Unlock my revelation
Let me suffer no longer
Let me grow stronger
I remain faithful
I try to be grateful
Full of contentment
I show commitment
When do I get to break free?
Release these chains from me
They are tight, they burn
Reveal the light, I yearn
Spirit, take the lead
I sincerely plead
I need your guidance and understanding
I long for abundance and a happy ending
Spirit are you there?
Do you even care?
For me and my deepest emotion
Do you see my depthless devotion?
Lead me
Feed me
Send me deeper and deeper
Until the day I meet death's reaper
Surely you are forever at my side
It's in you I confide
Spirit, take the lead
I plant this seed
From here on now, you are mine
I am yours
Together, we are spirit
Together, we take the lead

How do I beat loneliness?
It follows me around like a dark cloud.
It's dark and filled with sadness.
It makes no sound but it's really loud.

It brings me so many tears.
It leaves me feeling so worthless.
It's been so many years,
Filled with emptiness

No one sees me.
I seem to be invisible.
No one here, just me.
Loneliness seems to be invincible.

It's like I'm hardly living.
I'd choose death over this any day.
How can God be so unforgiving?
How can I live this way?

Please, how do I beat loneliness?
I'm slowly fading away into nothingness.
I am one with the emptiness.
"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm lonely"

I lost a part of me
Loved you more than I ever loved myself
Placed you on the highest pedestal, forgot about self
Yours was all I ever wanted to be
That is when I lost a part of me
Nothing else mattered if it was not you
Never have I ever been so loyal and so true
Your greatest love was all I ever wanted to be
Somehow, I loved and lost a part of me
The more I loved you, was the more I lost me
I could never find myself again
How could I ever be so insane?
I lost myself, all in vain
And now I suffer eternal pain
I bleed from my heart's core
I cry myself sore
It is as if, I will never find me again
Never love anyone or anything again
Not even myself
All that is left is fear and a hole in my heart
Never thought we would ever be apart
But here I am missing a part of me
And you are out there, living, not knowing that you took a part of me
I am curious, what do you do with it?
Do you even feel that it is there?
Does your new love see it?
In your eyes? In your smile?
Is it gone forever? Or is this just for a short while?
How do I get it back to myself once more?
I yearn to be whole once more
But if I have to see your face once more
To get back what you took from me once upon a time
Then I would rather you keep it until the end of time
I guess I will just grow it back
When I finally have the strength to love and not feel a strain on my back
From the fear of loving carelessly once again
From the terror of losing a part of me once again
It shall grow back
And I will be sure to never lose it again
I must be so foolish, and you must be so selfish
How can I let you walk away from me, and how can you just walk away from me,
With a part of me?
I need it back, that is my only wish

My brother, a slave to drug addiction.
I wish I could save you.
From the plague of perdition,
That you drag yourself through.

I pray for your salvation.
I hope to see your resurrection so long overdue.
I wish you freedom from substance suppression.
Liberation from the demons that torture you.

May you break free from the dark cloud of self-destruction.
I long to see the real you again.
Free from your tribulation, your affliction.
I wish you never again feel unbearable pain.

You put your body through endless torment.
You try to numb the agony you feel in your heart.
I wish you would choose to live each and every moment.
Whether ease or discomfort.

I find myself at a loss for words,
As I witness the hopelessness in our mother’s eyes.
It is as if we dwell in different worlds.
The sorrows you pile upon us tell no lies.

I wish I could save you.
I wish I could save our family from the shame.
I hope one day you will see what we see in you.
A cold-blooded monster. Surely, you are not to blame.

It is the reality we were forced to embrace, a misty dew of throes.
It could have been me,
Who surrendered to wreck and woes.
Without doubt, it could have been me.

I too, know the pain of feeling unworthy and unloved.
Surely, there is still hope in a mother's unconditional love.

Tell my mama that I am so sorry
I leave her with no glory
Shame killed me
Sorrow ended me
The dark cloud that follows me around
Finally left a fatal wound
To my friends,
I leave you with the happy moments we shared
To my lovers,
I leave you with the passion we felt
To my colleagues,
I leave you with the knowledge I taught
To my family,
I leave you with my love
Remember me for my smile and my pride
Do not dwell on the loss
Or the suffering that I perfected to hide
Remember me for my sarcasm
Remember me for my enthusiasm
My zeal for good food and wine
How no matter what, I always seemed fine
It is with a heavy heart that I cease my bright light
Sadly, I have lost the final fight
I leave you with no wealth
Only the sting of sudden death
I leave you with no tangible assets
Only failed success and bad debts
I shall rest now and at last meet with my creator
Farewell, I hope to see you later
Please, tell my mama that I am sorry

Trust in the skies above.
Believe in everlasting love.
Have hope,
Don't sit and mope.
Hope in the stars.
Despite all your scars.
Everything happens for a reason.
Pain is only for a season.
Live and forgive.
Open up your heart and give.
Give love. Show kindness.
Possibilities are endless.
Have hope,
Don't just sit and mope.
Stay hopeful.
Stay grateful.
Find your purpose and fulfill it.
Grab onto life by the horns and live it.
Love unconditionally.
Live unapologetically.
Above all, have hope,
Life's too short to sit and mope.

For a split second, I forgot
I forgot that there was a me before you
I forgot my own strength
I doubted my own resilience
And so I told you that I needed you
Can't do this all by myself
Can't live without you
But I remembered, I remembered
That there was a me before you
I remembered my own strength
Though you left
You didn't take my strength with you
Though you left
You didn't take me with you
I am still here

What hurts me most
Is not that you disappointed me
Or that you left at my worst
What hurts most is that I will never see you again
Talk to you again
See you smile
Hold you for a while
It's astonishing
After everything you did so vile
I still miss you
I still need you
I still want you
I still love you
Plenty fish in the sea but I don't want to go fishing
It's you I miss
It's you I need
It's you I want
It's you I love
Our love was different
It was magnificent
Or so I thought
But now I'm starting to doubt

I hate you
I don't want to but I do
How could you?
How dare you?

Take me for a fool
Use me like a tool
Man I thought we were cool
But you used me
Abused me
Confused me
Bruised me
How'd I ever love you?
How'd I ever care for you
I don't deserve it
Wish I could reverse it
My love pure, yet you didn't preserve it

I hate you
I don't want to but I do
How could you?
How dare you?

Play me like a toy
**** all my joy
You're an evil boy

It wasn't love was it?
As much as it felt like it
As much as it seemed like it
Love doesn't run
It shines like the sun
Love doesn't fail
It doesn't bail
Love doesn't give up
Love rises up
Above all doubt
Survives disaster and drought
But ours didn't
Because it wasn't love was it?
As much as it looked like it
As much as sounded like it
Love is not selfish
It doesn't quickly perish
Love holds on through thick and thin
Through every loss, every win
In sickness and in health
In poverty or wealth
It means you accept my flaws
You stick with me through peace or a million wars
But you left, you walked away
If it was love, you would stay
But it wasn't love was it?
As much as it felt like it
As much as it seemed like it
It was no such thing as love
Please don't ever call it love
I hate you for not loving me
I resent you for faking loving me
I needed real love
I wanted real love
Not what you gave me
After I let you have me
Over and over
Made you my one and only lover
It wasn't love was it
I loved you, but you didn't

This face, it hides hides a lot
But this face, is all I've got
I may smile, does not mean I'm not wounded
I may laugh, does not mean I don't feel bounded
I may joke, doesn't mean I'm free
Just because I don't let you see
My tears
My fears
My sorrow
My doubt for tomorrow
Doesn't mean I'm fine
Just because I don't whine
I don't cry or breakdown
I don't fall of or frown
Doesn't mean I don't hurt
Doesn't mean I'm not covered in dirt
I choose to wear my crown
Wear my crystal gown
And hide these tears
Hide these fears
But deep down I am suffering
Its not flattering
To accept my flaws
I'd rather cling finger nails and claws
To my pride glory
Than feel helpless and sorry
So please, if you do see my weakness
If you come across my meekness
Do not mock me
Do not crack me
Turn a blind eye
Pretend you don't see the spark in my eye
From pain and strain
Pretend the water on my face is but rain
Do not expose my torment and misery
For I swear to turn to turn it into my golden victory
Some day
Some day when the skies allow me to have my way
When the sun smiles down at me
And allows me to be who I want to be
When true love finds me
And turns me to the best version of me
When happiness stays with me
And really wants to be with me
When I find the pieces of me missing
When I finally receive my blessing
Although some words are left unspoken
Please don't ever remind me of this moment

God says

God says: I see you
God says: I am always true
I see all your weary tears
I know all your mortifying fears
I see your deepest, most darkest pain
Your sorrows are never in vain
He says: I hear your burning weep
I see you struggle to fall asleep
From all the thoughts that haunt you
From all the demons that chase you
He says: Come to me and trust in my love
I am the one true God up above
I am constantly by your side
I stay faithful when you abide
God says: Talk to me about all that you are feeling
I see you in the night when you are kneeling
And can't find the words to express your buried emotion
I want you to know that I admire your devotion
I watch over you
I send my angels to guide you
God says: You are my child
Release the hurt that troubles your mind
I will not forsake you
I will never leave you
I can never change
The earth is not your cage
God says: I want you to live
I want you to forgive
God says: I love you
He says: I care for you
Open up your heart and hear His word
Feel His spirit that travels through the world
Stay true to your undeniable calling
Even when it feels like you are forever falling
Because God says:  I see you
I am loving and true
Stay devoted to your path
You will never have to feel my wrath
I am the one true God up above
I sent my only son to you all out of love
God says: I am here
I see all that you bear
All the burden that you carry
But you don't have to worry
Because I am God and I love you
I am God and I love you
You don't have to feel alone
You don't have to be alone
I am here
I am your God and I am here
I am always here
God says: I am forever here

A life growing inside me
I don't want it
I don't need it
Not yet Lord
Forgive me for I'm about to sin
Thank you for your gift
But sadly, I'd like to return it please
Not because I'm ungrateful
Not because I don't respect life
But not now
Please not now
Age says i'm ready
My body says i'm ready
But I am not
I can't do it
Bring a human to life?
Nurture and care for her?
Not now
Love her and provide for her needs?
Console her when she cries?
Tell her it will be alright?
Hold her till she falls asleep?
Not now
Forgive me Lord
For I am about to sin
I am about to send this life
You have gracefully placed in my womb
Back to the heavens to be with You
I think You will take better care of her
Than I ever will

Black lives matter
My life matters

You can't **** me because of my color
My life is valuable like any other
I don't deserve to be punished or to suffer
For being a person of color
Your actions are viscous, your words are ******
You dishonor my origin and my culture
I was made in God's image
Don't be fooled by your privilege
I bleed the same way that you do
I am as human as you
Why do you hate me?
What makes you want to hate me?
You don't even know me
Yet you find me appalling
Your hatred towards me is alarming
I am not a criminal
Your issues with me are purely political

Black lives matter
My life matters

This is a sensitive issue to many like you
Controversial yet the question is long overdue
Why do you hate me?
What have I done to make you hate me?
I've done you no wrong, sir
I don't even know you, sir
I can't breathe, sir
Please get your knee off of my neck, sir
Is it me you fear or my greatness
How I thrive regardless
Of your contempt towards me
Your resentment towards me
Is it really me you hate?
Or is it yourself you loathe the most?
Is it my soft melanin skin
That offends you and pushes you to sin?
You'd rather **** me
Than admire me
You'd rather step on me
Than accept me
How dare you despise God's own creation?
Do you not pray to the same God for salvation?
Do you not praise His name and call Him the creator of all life?
Yet you see no substance to my life
Is it God you hate then?
For creating me, because I'm certainly not to blame
My life is not yours for the taking
I am God's very own making

My life matters
I matter

Black lives matter

His love
His love
It is magnificent

It is made of pure gold
A  beautiful story untold
We let it unfold
Let it overflow

He is the closest thing to perfection
He fulfills my every satisfaction
Exceeds my every expectation
He sees beyond my every imperfection

This is real love filled with doses of passion
Love that never grows out of fashion
Love filled with dashes of compassion
Love that never demands any kind of compensation

He loves me
He adores me

When we make love, the earth quivers
My body trembles, it shivers
While he is rock hard and climbs me like a mountain
As I erupt like a bottomless fountain

Yes, he makes me ******
Winds my body like a sax
Love racing through my core
As I beg him for more and more
Of his love

I've never truly felt anything like it
Never really seen anything like it
It feels unreal
Like a delightful dream

I pray this never ever ends
Not just lovers, but two best friends
I love everything about him
Nothing I'd ever change about him

His smile is majestic
His laugh is poetic
His emotions are authentic
His body is magnetic

It draws me in
It locks me in
His touch, so smooth
His ambition filled youth

Everything about him shouts love
His love
Is magnificent

Being with him feels so natural
Being around him feels so magical
It's like I'm in a film sequel
And he is my equal

He's become apart of me from limb to limb
A soft kiss from me to him
Stolen glances
My soul dances
To the rhythm of his heart beat
He's my favorite song on repeat
Never misses a beat

Never fails to excite me
Happiness is him beside me
Peace is his arms around me
Love is him inside me

I love him
I adore him

His love
His love is different
It is magnificent

Here's what I wish for you,
That you find yourself once again.
That you escape from your past.
Get up once again.
Shake off the dust.
It doesn't matter how hard you fell.
How much you think you have lost.
You can be who you once were,
And even better than before.
It's up to you.
Show up every day.
Work on yourself in every way.
The one person you can never give up on,
Is you.
The one person you should never disappoint,
Is you.
It's not too late.
It's never too late.
Every day is a new chance.
Make a new choice.
You don't have to stay stuck where you are.
You can get up from your fall.
It's okay.
The universe will take care of you,
If you take care of you.
It doesn't matter who left,
Who changed,
Who hurt you.
It's time to get up now.
You've been lying there for some time now.
You've burnt a hole in the ground that reflects your shape.
It's time to get up now.
Pour sand in the hole you've drilled with your tears,
And seal it for good.
You can't fall in that hole again.
It's time to get up.
Take my hand.
Please get up.

Corona virus
From China, to Italy, to Spain and even Cyprus
You meneaver through cities, through countries and continents
Whether servants, residents or even infants
Everyone is at risk, I have to admire your competence
I weep for those in denial still showing signs of ignorance and resistance
A killing machine is what you are, your excellence
You demand the whole world to bow down to you or suffer in abundance
Your bring chaos in each of your movements
You have the universe in lock down in small compartments
This is by far one of  God's greatest punishments
Whether you came from bats, cats or rodents
You are deadly and us your weakest opponents
You have every soul trembling at your name, shaking parliaments
I truly, truly admire your commitment
To end all life possible, whether civilian or reinforcement
We witness a global crisis and fear of sky high unemployment
While we lack hope, excitement and enjoyment
Many face retrenchment and bouncing cheques for monthly installment
Whilst the economy is devoured through travel ban and no trade arrangement
Whilst our currencies grow weaker and weaker to our detriment
Whilst the poor die in out patient
You continue to punish and torment
Because you find it so convenient
Whilst we have no words left of encouragement
Beating you would be our greatest accomplishment
Women and children praying for victory and enlightenment
Yet the rising number of cases and deaths their daily discouragement
Each day ends in despair and disappointment
Each day you take life with no regret or sentiment
Dear God, please forgive us for sin and infringement
Give us this day to lament and repent
Let this not be our final days of judgment
Deliver us from the Corona virus
May we be free once again and prosperous
Please, don't let this destroy us
We plead for your mercy, please don't ignore us
You God, are our last hope to salvation
Save us, let us once more taste liberation
We promise to cherish it and never show deviation
From your path, your commandments and regulation
We promise to stay true and abide to your interdiction
We are your children and forever in need of your protection
Please let us live and fulfill your expectation
We cry out to you as a nation
May our tears fall into your arms of understanding
Your love is faithful and everlasting
May we remain among the living
Surely, our crimes are worth forgiving

"Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom
The power and the glory
Forever and ever
Amen "

I don't care how we met
Don't care how far we may get

You make me feel things I've never felt before
Makes me want you more and more
Your smile, your face, your soft beard
This is exactly what I've always feared
A man who makes me loose control
Touches every single slither of my soul

I don't care how we met
For I know it's not over just yet

The mere sight of your body pleases me
The mere taste of your lips hypnotizes me
It is like I am floating on warm ice
This is real love and I am paying the price
This is what an ****** feels like
This is what loving a real man feels like

I don't care where we met
This is as good as it may get

Fear of failing
Fear of falling
Fear

Fear of giving up
Fear of letting go
Fear

Fear that I may not have the strength
Fear that I may not have enough faith
Fear

Consumed by fear
Imprisoned by fear
Weary of fear

Fear of dying
Before I make it through
I am trying

To stay faithful and true
Keep my head above the misty dew
But I fear

I fear
I fear for tomorrow
I fear endless sorrow

Fear that I may die alone
Fear that I  may never see these tears gone
Fear

Fear of becoming nothing
Fear that I may never achieve something
Fear

Fear of being no one
Fear of being loved by no one
Fear

Fear that I may never see the light
Fear that I may never win this fight
Fear

I fear for my life
I am scared to give
Anymore of me to fear

Fear
Fear I may never overcome my fears
Never see my happy years

Fear
I am my deepest fear
Fear of losing everything I hold dear

Let me sing you my favorite song
Let me recite you my favorite poem
You can have the best part of me
Let me give you my all

Let me paint you in my favorite colors
Let me cook you my favorite dish
You're my favorite person
You're my favorite feeling

Let me tell you my favorite story
Let me fix you my favorite drink
Let me read you my favorite book
You're my favorite boy

You're my favorite feeling
Let me wear my favorite clothes
Let's drive to my favorite place
Let me sing you my favorite melody

Let me write you my favorite poem
Let me be your favorite girl
You're my favorite face
You're my favorite kiss

I miss you when you're out of town
You're my favorite to be around
Your voice is my favorite
You are my favorite dream

Let me bleed
I would rather bleed
Than miss my monthly ****** cycle
Because of a life growing inside me like a little tickle
Let me bleed
I would much rather bleed
Than go nine months
Thinking how am I gonna feed these mouths?
It could be twins I'm bearing
This is regret I'm wearing
No, let me bleed
I would much rather bleed
I will bear the pain
As I bleed out like heavy rain
Let me bleed
I am more than happy to bleed
Blood, I've never been so happy to see you
Why'd you come later than you're due?
I thought I'd made a new being
'Twas the worst feeling
No, let me bleed
I choose to bleed
Stuck, thinking why'd I let him do it?
Let him flow inside my walls, why'd he do it?
Holding on to me for dear life as he did it
As if he was trying to create a new life with no guilt
I am not even his wife
My honour is my pride
No ******* children
That's strictly forbidden
I say no, let me bleed
I would much rather bleed

Let me in,
I want to touch the deep depths of your soul.
These are but words on paper, like broken glass in a bowl.
Yet I desire to graze upon your mortal essence,
Show me the path to your very substance.
Let me wine and dine in your consciousness.
Let me in,
I want to feel you, not physically.
Spiritually.
Emotionally.
Let me in.
I want to see the magnitude of your core.
Caress your heart like never before.
Let me into your personal atmosphere.
Show me who you hold dear.
Show me what you fear.
Show me the burden you bear.
Let me in,
Let me hold you in my arms with nothing but my words.
Let us adjoin from our different worlds.
Let down your guards.
Let me in.
What moves you?
What behooves you?
Let me see it in your eyes as I speak.
Show me what it is you truly seek.
What really gets you to break?
Let me in.

I refuse to die.
Life's not perfect, yet 'tis mine.
Mine for the taking.
Mine to find awakening.
No, I am not leaving.
Yes, my heart's bleeding.
I refuse to die.
Life's not perfect, yet' tis mine.
I refuse to let go.
Even if I am poor.
I refuse to go.
I will ne'er let go.
I wake with swollen eyes.
Weary from worldly ties.
Depression will not take me.
Death shall not have me.

Depression took her
No one could save her.
She had been miserable for a while.
The world was vicious, and vile.
But when depression forced her hand,
She followed her darkest demon's demand.
She could not take it any longer.
What didn't **** her, didn't make her any stronger.
No one noticed her silent cry for help.
No one saw her in the night when she wept and wept.
And now everyone is astonished.
"How can she leave everything she's accomplished? "
But her beasts overpowered her will to live.
She had nothing, nothing left to give.
So, she gave in, and depression took her.
Yet, no one seemed to care.
She had no one to lend a caring heart, nor an ear.
So she ended it all without doubt, nor fear.
She reached her very lowest peak.
Felt ever so weary, and ever so weak.
No one was there to pull her out of her misery.
No one to say: "hold on, in the end there is victory."
No one to break her out of the darkness, into the light.
No one to convince her that life was worth the fight.
But what does one do, when everything around you is destroyed?
When your prayers seem to be nothing, but null and void?
Do you hold on to the darkness, and pray to make it through the night?
Who do you pray to, for salvation and light?
Depression took her.
No one could save her.
Some called her a brave coward.
But all she was really, was tired.
From all the endless hurt and the pain.
So she slit through her own vein.
And watched it bleed, and bleed.
As she fell into an eternal sleep.
She was exhausted from life.
So she took a sharp knife,
And she let depression take ker.
No one could saver her.
From feeling like she didn't belong.
Like everything was all wrong.
She had no place here.
She didn't fit in here.
When she tried to voice out how she wasn't coping.
All everyone said was: "toughen up and stop moping,
This is life. Just pray about it and talk to God"
But a million prayers later, she was left alone in the world.
So, depression took her.
No one could save her.
She imagined that death would be peaceful and painless.
Cause lately, all she had been feeling was worthless and faithless.
So she looked death in the eyes, and said:
"Death you're my only way out. I'm too sad. I'm just too sad"
So she wrote a long letter to her mother saying: "I'm sorry, I hope all is forgiven."
"Maybe I'm better off as an angel, looking down upon you in heaven."
"All that I tried to be happy, I have failed."
"I'm sorry I couldn't make you proud. Sorry if you feel betrayed. *
Even the strongest of people feel fragile sometimes.
Life can be overwhelming at times.
They say: "check on your stong friends, cause depression is real."
Everyone needs someone to be there when you standing on the edge of a hill.
All it took really, was just one bad day.
One bad day, that led her astray.
Not knowing where her soul would land.
She didn't care as long as her bones remained six feet under the sand.
She would be free.
Free to be who she had always wanted to be.
Nobody.
It's funny how people start caring after you die.
"We had no idea! Why did she do it. Why?"
"We thought she was just fine"
"She always laughed and smiled"
Smiles and all, depression still took her.
Still, no one could save her.

Here lies a fallen brother, father and husband.
As we bury him six feet under the warm sand,
And overlay his body layer by layer,
We say this poignant prayer:
"May his soul bear boundless bliss.
May his magnific memory manifest under the sun's kiss.
Lest we forget how his life he sacrificed.
May his spirit be forever sanctified.
There is no greater glory than falling in battle.
The life of a battler so bare and brittle.
May he find comfort in his last resting place.
The fallen hero of the human race.
God bless this man's mortal soul here where he lies.
May he be released from all tangible ties,
And enter into his everlasting safe haven.
Here lies an addition to the armies of heaven.
His vocation is concluded here on earth.
And now he must reunite with his fallen brothers in death.
Until we meet again Ben.
Amen and amen. "

Emotions creeping in on me.
Heart bleeding in on me.
Tis in the past! Tis in the past!
Not the first to hurt, not the last.
Why does the pain still linger?
Wrapped around sorrow's finger.
Make it go away! Make it stop!
It stings so bad, make it stop.
God watching me suffer.
I've nothing left to offer.
I pray, and I pray.
Till I've nothing left to say.
I cry, and I cry.
Till I've no tears left to cry. Why?
Eyes dry as the desert.
Yet heart's still in the dirt.
These wounds won't heal.
Life's a turning wheel.
I'd like off of this ride.
Pride and glory aside.
Let me go.
Please let me go.
What is it I'm paying for?
What is it I'm praying for?
Are my sins that great?
All I see is heaven's gate.
Take me away.
I've nothing left to say.

To love is to cheerfully cherish.
I wish I'd said that I loved you more and more each day.
To lose the one you love is to painfully perish.
I wish you were still here with me this day.

To love is to unconditionally trust.
I wish I'd held you close to me more and more each day.
Showed you that it was more than just lust.
I wish you were still here with me this day.

Roaring pain lingering timelessly
Grief haunting my soul tirelessly
It is my dear love, forced to the other side kicking and screaming
Please wake me for I must be dreadfully dreaming
My beloved was violently torn from my arms and eyes
Save me from this sorrow and tell me it's all lies
Tell me my beloved still draws breath
Tell me my beloved was not taken by death
I find peace in believing that it's for the best
That there is no suffering in final rest
I sincerely hope that it is true
Because I still long for you

My dear old lover and friend
I write this with tear filled eyes
A broken and scattered heart
I just heard the news of your passing
I heard that you were violently torn from this earth
You were not at fault
You fell victim to senseless behavior
My condolences are with your family
And all those you held dear
Including me I hope
I'm deeply saddened by your sudden departure
You deserved so much more
I wish you had lived longer to realize your dreams
But unfortunately you were called to the heavens
I truly hope that you are in a better place
I hope that you have found great peace
Rest in eternal power and peace
I am sorry you had to leave the world of the living so soon
Gone but never forgotten
Lost but never forsaken

With love
Your old friend
Goodbye old friend

Sons of the soil.
Daughters of the soil.
Wake up and rejoice, for its the day of your heritage.
Celebrate your culture, for it is your privilege.

You are Africa, Africa is you.
A nation so diverse and true.
A real rainbow nation.
Deeply rooted in our tradition.

Nna ke mo Tswana, ebile ke motlotlo ka bo Tswana bame.
Nna ke mo Pedi, ebile ka ikgantsha ka go nna mo Pedi.
Mna ndi ngum Xhosa, ubona nje, ndiyazi dla ngo buXhosa bam.
Mina ngi ngum Zulu qobo, futhi ngiyazi qhenya.

On this day, remember who you are.
On this day, commemorate who you are.
Take pride in your true identity.
Let there be peace and serenity.
In South Africa our land.
Together may we all stand.

Le ga ole moTswana wa Afrika.
Noba ungu m'Xhosa wase Afrika.
Le ha ole mo Sotho wa Afrika Borwa.
Are rataneng. Masi thandaneni.

On this day, speak your mother tounge.
On this day, sing your clan song.
A moTswana eme a kgibe.
UmXhosa maka phakame axhentse.
UmZulu maka sukume agide.
A moPedi a emelle bine.

Sons of the soil.
Daughters of the soil.
Wake up and rejoice, for its the day of your heritage.
Celebrate your culture, for it is your privilege.

To my brother.
From me, your sister.

I wish you quit the reckless drinking.
It turns you into a senseless being.
Mom is tired. She is hurting.
The constant crying and fighting.
Our family is torn.
uMakhulu is gone.
No one knows how to help you.
We still have hope, for the skies are still blue.
I lost all respect for you the night you laid hands on our mother.
Your son is ashamed of identifying you as his father.
But for as long as I live,
I am willing to forgive.
For as long as our mother lives, I can't give up on hope for your redemption.
She never stops praying and pleading to God for your salvation.
I hope you see the light, before it's too late.
I hope you release your heart from all the self-hate.
It doesn't matter where your substance abuse originated.
But you become a monster when you're intoxicated.
There's a thin line between a fun night out and alcohol abuse.
There's more to life than just drugs and *****.
God did not bring you here to drink 'till the death.
That was not the purpose of your birth.
I pray that you realise your true purpose and full potential.
The life you're leading is not practical.
And we plead with you to put this to an end.
Alcolol is your worst enemy and not your trusted friend.
You are capable of achieving so much more.
I always remember what you were like before.
The ambitious, talented and full of life.
I hope you find your wings and fly.
It's sad that no one visits anymore, because they fear you.
They fear for their lives, and what you might do.
Myself included too.
In all my dreams, you are attacking me, chasing me.
Is this really who you want to be?
I wish you could see yourself the way that we see you.
And maybe, you will desire to change too, as much as we do.
Your behavior is bad to an extent that we sometimes wish you would die.
That somehow life without in it would be better, no lie.
I'm not saying this to hurt you.
But only you can change how we feel about you.
By letting go of the things that you do.
I pray you gain the strength that you need.
To face your demons without the beer and the ****.
I want you to know that we love you and we care.
Whenever you're ready to do better we will be here.
We want to be a whole family again.
We want to be happy and free from pain.
I believe you can change.
You are not stuck in a cage.
You have us. From the bottom of my heart,
Please stop tearing us apart.


With love.
Your baby Sister.

I asked my soul "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my inner demons "What is it you truly want?"
My soul asked me for peace and serenity.
My inner demons demanded eternal wealth and supremacy.

I asked my spirit "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my body "What is it you truly want?"
My spirit desires alignment with the highest power.
My body longs to be touched like a delicate flower.

I asked my brain "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my heart "What is it you truly want?"
My brain asked me to follow my heart for direction.
My heart told me it desires true love and affection.

How do I get over you when all the songs remind me of you?
How do I forget all the torment you have put me through?
When you left I lost a part of my very own substance.
I started to question my very own existence.
Suddenly my world turned to gloom.
Suddenly I fell into a destiny of doom.
All of a sudden the skies are grey.
How could you wreck me this way?

Watching my dreams die and turn into scattered dust.
Covered in mortifying shame and sinful lust.
My soul wandering, slithering around broken.
The angels have me lost and forsaken.
These tears and sorrows are my chains.
I am bleeding inside from these chest pains.
It's myself I resent the most.
It's myself I blame the most.
How could I be so weak and vulnerable?
Seems I'm not at all worthy or lovable.
Yes, the amount of self pity is considerable.
But I somehow find it comforting and it's comfortable.
Being constantly intolerably miserable.
So undeniably alone it's unexplainable.
Inner peace seems so far and unattainable.
The depth of the damage inside is irrecoverable.
What haunts me most is that I am the one responsible.
The desire to perish and leave it all behind is unstoppable.
Is it possible that redemption and light is possible?

God I need you now more than ever.
In your word You promised to stay by my side forever.
Your word promises eternal love and amity.
Stay with me for all eternity and show me peace and serenity.
Help me live a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Help me release all the doubt and resentment.

Lord I need Your presence in my life.
I bring my burden to you and my endless strife.
Unburden me Dear God and carry me under your wings.
Heal me of the world's pains and stings.
In You I place my hope and my trust.
Save me from sin and unjust.

Dear God my heart is broken and I feel weak.
Your strength and guidance is all I seek.
I know that You are always true and faithful.
I know that You watch over me and I am forever grateful.
Dear God please hear my cry for salvation.
Dear God please hear my call for redemption.

This is for you.

This is for the woman with a heart of pure gold.
The young, strong, beautiful and bold.
This is for the sister with tears in her eyes,
Her striking smile still shines.
Hiding all the ache and affliction.
Behind that smile close to perfection,
Is a mother with a broken heart.
Praying for her home not to fall apart.
Husband not so true to his vows that he made in front of God.
Crumbling before her eyes is her whole world.
This is for the girl with a bruised face.
Holding back the tears as she stares into space.
Someone who claims to love her harmed her in that way.
He keeps saying sorry but today is the same as it was yesterday.
This is for the teenage girl who got *****,
Wishing she could have escaped.
She notices her body starting to change,
He growing stomach seems strange.
Another teenage parent,
This is how she fell pregnant,
She fell victim to the most painful crime,
By someone whom she trusted this time.
This is for the unemployed single mother.
Trying to raise her kids with a deceased husband and father.
Striving for every meal,
In the most terrible ordeal.
This is for all the strong ladies out there.
Who live through all the pain and fear.
And for every time you shed a tear,
God is observing.
So don't stop preserving.
You are the heart of the nation.
God's most loved creation.
Forgive all the brothers who wounded you.
For the skies are still blue.
And you are the heart of the nation.
God's most powerful creation.

Happiness!
Oh sweet cheerful happiness.

You're so far to reach.
You're impossible to teach.

How does one get to you?
How does one achieve you?

I have tried all the positive thinking.
All the joyful singing.

Do I not deserve you?
Am I not fit to have you!?

Am I not worthy of you?
Tell me what I have to do?

Am I too sad to attract you?
Am I not ready to receive you ?

You never seem to show up.
I'm always just so ******* up.

My relationship with you is unhealthy happiness.
Some days you show but only for a split second and no less.

I want you in my life happiness.
I need you in my life happiness.
As God is my witness.
Save me from this illness,
That is in my mind and all this craziness.
Please I beg of you happiness.

Come to me and erase all this sadness
Save me from my unhappiness

I'm tired of feeling all this loneliness.
I'm walking around faceless,
From all the pretence of my fake happiness.
I long for the real you happiness.

Show your face, where are you happiness!?
Without you I feel so meaningless.
My life seems to be so worthless.
I feel lack of direction and passiveness.

I find no reason to be passionate.
I feel weak and helpless

Oh happiness,
Sweet cheerful happiness.

He finds joy in bringing me down.
He likes nothing more than to see me frown.
He takes pleasure in my tears.
It's been this way for years.
He abuses me emotionally
He hurts me intentionally.
Calls me fat and all types of names.
He likes to play these awful games.
He likes to cause me pain.
I reckon it keeps him sane.
To see me bleed internally.
He won't see my hurt externally,
But deep inside it burns like hell fire.
He's a cheater and a blatant liar.
He likes to see me down on the ground.
And he'll kick me further down without a sound.
I never truly realized it until now,
But it's like he wants me dead somehow.
He is my lover.
But I guess it's over.
I guess so because he doesn't love me anymore.
Not like he used to before.

I am so sorry.
It was nothing, you don't have to worry.
I can explain.
Please let me explain.
You see he texted me, and told me he that misses me.
Told me he missed everything, like how he kisses me.
My senses began to weaken.
As he had me taken.
So I let him come over.
Although you were my lover.
But you were not there.
And here he was pretending to care.
So he talked to me until I got tired.
He knows how my body is wired.
I walked into my bedroom as he followed me.
I laid on my bed as he laid right next to me.
He started to kiss me slowly and passionately.
He started to pull on my clothes unexpectedly.
Next thing I knew he was on top of me.
Before I could say a word, he was already inside of me.
I couldn't fight the feeling he was giving to me.
As he kept thrusting in me, and thrusting.
I realized that I was too trusting.
Next thing I knew he busted in me.
And it hit me that I just cheated on you.
I just broke everything I built with you.
I'm sorry that I cheated on you.
I'm sorry that temptation got the better of me.
Believe me when I say he doesn't matter to me.
A moment of weakness is all it was.
A state of bleakness is all it was.
Please don't leave me. Stay.
I'm sorry I went that astray.
I am so sorry.
It meant nothing. You don't have to worry.

I believe you will rise again.
Against all odds you shall reign.
It's not over. Not yet. Not now.
Reclaim your throne so they can bow.
You've been to hell and back.
You've fallen off track,
More times than you could ever count.
A million times you've been burnt out.
Your soul is exhausted beyond measure.
You have lost all you used to treasure.
Chin up.
Show up.
Rise again.
You deserve nothing but to forever reign.
Don't fall prey to the hurt and pain.
Your demise is how they gain.
It's what they want to see.
Your ashes scattered across the sea.
But you are stronger than that, aren't you?
You won't give them that satisfaction, will you?
No you won't.
Not in this lifetime you won't!
You won't because you will rise again.
No matter what comes your way, you will reign.
All hail!
All hail!
She has risen again!
She is here to reign!
Here they stand before your feet.
Your friends and foes gathered in one fleet.
Those who wished for your self destruction.
Are here for your new introduction.
The one who has risen again.
Long may she reign!