Disconnected from the universe
Can things get any worse
I'm trapped in a lonely corner
I'm nothing but a lonely loner
All alone. All by myself
I have nothing left
I have nothing left to offer
The going keeps getting tougher
What do I have to do
No where left to go
Stuck between these four walls
Forgive me but I don't have the *****
To carry on this meaninglessness path
I'm sitting here holding my breath
Praying to see redemption
Holding on to the presumption
That it gets better
That somehow I matter
But I feel disconnected
It's like the world has not accepted
Me as my own person
My life seems to worsen
Each day there's a new lesson
Each day is depression
Depression and disconnect
This is foul play I suspect

I forgive you for yesterday.
For the day before today.
For the years before this one.
For all the years that have gone.
I want you to know that it's all well.
The past is not for us to dwell.
You have made some mistakes.
But it's all sweet cakes.
Your past will never define you.
Your future is right in front of you.
Forget all you have done wrong.
Sing a happy cheerful song.
Find peace and freedom.
The world is your kingdom.
You are fit to reign.
Dance through the rain .
You are a queen and nothing less.
You are forgiven for all the mess.
We learn and we grow. That's how it goes.
Smile you beautiful rose.
You are forgiven.
Appreciate the life you were given.
Don't forget to live.
Don't forget to forgive.

Love.
Me.

Well here we are, I forgive you.
You never said you're sorry but I forgive you.
I accept the apology I never heard from you.
With this I take back my all strengths.
I have gone through great lengths.
To be able to say this to you here and now.
I've made peace with it somehow,
How you left without reason.
It's a new day. A new season.
So wherever you go,
I want you to know
That I hate you no more.
I mean this from my core.
Fly like a bird you are free to go.
Wherever it is you decide to go,
Please don't ever think to come back.
Stay far away from my track.

Don't try to save me, let me burn.
The hard way is how I have to learn.
I don't need your help, leave me to suffer.
I tell the truth, I am no bluffer.
The truth is that I am being haunted.
The spirits have me daunted.
I am chased by the things of the night.
Sadly, I have lost the fight.
Well truthfully, I gave in to the shadow.
I am being held against my will down below.
They forced me to abide.
They locked me deep inside.
Took everything I held dear.
Left me with nothing but trembling fear.
Don't try to save me, let them have me.
Let them have their way with me.
Once they are done with me I will be brand new.
Many won't understand this, only a few.
They want me because I am the called one.
I am undeniably the chosen one.

Dear depression - You and your friend anxiety.
You have no power over me, and my sanity.
Do you know how happy I am when you fail to show?
Oh! I wish you would know.
How complete my life is without your unwanted baggage!
But somehow you always creep up on me, don't you? You savage!
Well, I put my foot down today!
You've had your way with me, but that was yesterday!
I will outlive you.
I will crush you.
You have no place here in my heart.
Remove yourself from my life, you filthy dirt.
No more shall you make me feel small and unworthy.
From now on, I will be free and healthy.
No more of your sad, sad feelings.
No more of your evil, evil dealings.
I choose to be free!
I choose to be me!
Get away from me, why don't you?
I am more valuable than what you make it seem true.
I am no failure. I am no quiter.
I am a survivor. I am a true fighter.
I have seen you take lives from their beloved.
But here with me you are over powered.
Listen when I say your days are numbered.
You have no power here!
I wish to make this crystal clear!
So please pack all your things and go.
I don't want to feel you in my space anymore!
I hate the way that you make me feel.
How much more of me do you want to steal?
You nasy parasite.
Please get out of my sight!
I'd give anything to see you dead and burried.
My friends and family out here worried.
Because of you and your friend anxiety.
I want my life back, along with my sanity.
Farewell depression.
Till we never meet again!

Stripped off my identity
Taken from my own sanity
Is this a rebirth?
Cause it feels more like death
Who am I?
What am I?
My spirit has too grown weary
My heart too heavy to carry
Soul drifring far away into despair
This doesn't seem fair
Where is my sun light?
I have lost my own sight
Holding on with the tip of my finger
How much longer will my essence linger
In this dark, cold dwelling
I long for smooth sailing
For peace and serenity
I want my identity along with my sanity

Dead inside. I feel nothing
Nothing but self loathing
My heart is ice cold
I watch the darkness unfold
My soul is dead
Emptiness is my daily bread
Happiness is a distant thought
My hatred is self taught
I despise life
Slit my throat with a knife
And I will feel pain no more
I have nothing to live for
I am dead inside
No where left to hide
I am dead inside

My hatred for you consumes me.
I hate you for what you did to me.
It is not just what you did,
It is how you did what you did.
As much as I can try to understand why you had to.
The way that it broke me is the reason I can't forgive you.
But me not being able to forgive me feeds on my soul.
The way that you ended things was foul.
You said that your love for me had diminished.
Those words had my heart and my whole being finished.
It was as if you ripped me apart.
I am still picking up the pieces of my heart.
The ones that you left behind.
I still can't fathom this in my mind.
You left me. Broken pieces and all.
Tears falling down my face and all.
You broke me. All the love and loyalty I gave.
I had no choice left but to cave,
To this sudden decision you had made.
How did your love for me just fade?
Was it ever there to begin with?
Or was your love for me just a myth?
You ended me. As much as I hate to admit it,
You took everything from me and left me in a dark pit,
A dark pit of despair and guilt.
Everything we had built,
Had crashed in front of my eyes.
All this because of your lies,
Your lies about loving me forever.
I watched that get washed in the river.
It is like you were even there.
I regret the day I met you with every shed tear.

Barely existing
Drifting through space
Can't feel my face
Barely existing
Surviving on intoxication
Need a paid vacation
Barely existing
Consumed by my own thoughts
More tequila shots
Barely existing
Lord hear my cry
Help me get by
Barely existing
What am I living for
What am I here for
Barely existing
Can't see purpose
Dead inside I suppose
Barely existing
Barely living
Need saving
Somebody help
Please anybody help
Help me get by
Lord hear my cry
I'm barely existing
I need fixing
I am broken
Have I been forsaken
Barely existing
I need healing

My demons
They consume me
My body, mind and spirit
No living being could ever comprehend
I could scream at the top of  the highest mountain
Bringing out my loudest vocal cord
No one will hear me
Even God Himself
The one who created me
He can’t save me
I don’t have control of my own thoughts anymore
Another force has taken over my life
I pray to God
And the dead
To help me
Save me
Lead me into the light
All I see is the darkness
I lay awake all night
Staring into these walls
As if they have the answers
The split second I fall asleep
I see them
Things I don’t want to see
Things of the darkness
Save me!
Somebody
Anybody
Please save me!
From my mind
From the pain
From the confusion
These demons
They demand my attention
I fear the unknown
I see the unseen
Blurry visions of the future
Encrypted dreams of the past and the present
That I can’t interpret
I wake up in a new body
Day by day
I can feel my being drifting from my soul
Day by day
Make it go away
I want to feel like a person again
I want to feel love and respect

Lost and alone.
So much to offer,
Yet so little faith.
No self-belief.
So much potential,
Yet so much pain.

25. Where has the time gone?
Where are the blessings and fortunes,
We were promised in our young days?
Work hard they said.
Those who don't give up shall prosper,
They said.
Our mothers told us we are the kings and queens.
We deserve nothing but the best.

But 25 years later,
Of working hard.
Giving it our all.
Yet no luck.
Days are dark.
Friends are few.
No one is true.
Where is the happiness,
They assured us?

25. You should be married by now.
What have you achieved?
What are you working towards?
Where do you see yourself in the future?
Why are you not doing anything?
What is wrong with you?
Why are you not like other kids?
They ask.


25. Half way to 50.
So young,
Yet so old.
So many decisions to make,
Yet so little time.
Not enough resources,
To make it through.

25. Don't give up.
You are 25.
You still have time.
It gets better.
They all say.
But what if I don't see the light?
Do I hold on to the darkness,
And pray to see the sun?

25. So much to live for,
Yet suicidal thoughts,
Are more and more regular.
Prayers are less and less.
Am I praying to the walls?
Is there a God?
Where is He?

25. Unanswered prayers,
And self-doubt.
Could there be other forces,
Bringing me down ?
Forcing me in to the darkness ?
Who do I pray to?
For salvation and light.

25. I have been waiting for you.
I have been picturing you all my life.
And you are not what I imagined.
At all.
You are confusing.
You are filled with dullness.
You make me not want to live anymore,
25.

So many questions.
No valid answers.
People just say what they want.
No true direction.
Not real inspiration.
And I see other 25s,
They have it figured out.
Who did they pray to?

25. No compelling purpose.
On a path of despair.
A path to depression,
And anxiety.
A gloomy route to hopelessness.
When you lay down you can hear,
Your demons whisper.
Are they ever going to leave me alone?
These demons?

25. I am not fond of you.
You make me want to turn back the time,
And choose not to never meet you.
What will my mama do if she found me,
Dead in my shower because of you.
And your beasts.
I have had enough of you,
25.