To my brother.
From me, your sister.

I wish you quit the reckless drinking.
It turns you into a senseless being.
Mom is tired. She is hurting.
The constant crying and fighting.
Our family is torn.
uMakhulu is gone.
No one knows how to help you.
We still have hope, for the skies are still blue.
I lost all respect for you the night you laid hands on our mother.
Your son is ashamed of identifying you as his father.
But for as long as I live,
I am willing to forgive.
For as long as our mother lives, I can't give up on hope for your redemption.
She never stops praying and pleading to God for your salvation.
I hope you see the light, before it's too late.
I hope you release your heart from all the self-hate.
It doesn't matter where your substance abuse originated.
But you become a monster when you're intoxicated.
There's a thin line between a fun night out and alcohol abuse.
There's more to life than just drugs and *****.
God did not bring you here to drink 'till the death.
That was not the purpose of your birth.
I pray that you realise your true purpose and full potential.
The life you're leading is not practical.
And we plead with you to put this to an end.
Alcolol is your worst enemy and not your trusted friend.
You are capable of achieving so much more.
I always remember what you were like before.
The ambitious, talented and full of life.
I hope you find your wings and fly.
It's sad that no one visits anymore, because they fear you.
They fear for their lives, and what you might do.
Myself included too.
In all my dreams, you are attacking me, chasing me.
Is this really who you want to be?
I wish you could see yourself the way that we see you.
And maybe, you will desire to change too, as much as we do.
Your behavior is bad to an extent that we sometimes wish you would die.
That somehow life without in it would be better, no lie.
I'm not saying this to hurt you.
But only you can change how we feel about you.
By letting go of the things that you do.
I pray you gain the strength that you need.
To face your demons without the beer and the ****.
I want you to know that we love you and we care.
Whenever you're ready to do better we will be here.
We want to be a whole family again.
We want to be happy and free from pain.
I believe you can change.
You are not stuck in a cage.
You have us. From the bottom of my heart,
Please stop tearing us apart.


With love.
Your baby Sister.

I asked my soul "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my inner demons "What is it you truly want?"
My soul asked me for peace and serenity.
My inner demons demanded eternal wealth and supremacy.

I asked my spirit "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my body "What is it you truly want?"
My spirit desires alignment with the highest power.
My body longs to be touched like a delicate flower.

I asked my brain "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my heart "What is it you truly want?"
My brain asked me to follow my heart for direction.
My heart told me it desires true love and affection.

How do I get over you when all the songs remind me of you?
How do I forget all the torment you have put me through?
When you left I lost a part of my very own substance.
I started to question my very own existence.
Suddenly my world turned to gloom.
Suddenly I fell into a destiny of doom.
All of a sudden the skies are grey.
How could you wreck me this way?

Watching my dreams die and turn into scattered dust.
Covered in mortifying shame and sinful lust.
My soul wandering, slithering around broken.
The angels have me lost and forsaken.
These tears and sorrows are my chains.
I am bleeding inside from these chest pains.
It's myself I resent the most.
It's myself I blame the most.
How could I be so weak and vulnerable?
Seems I'm not at all worthy or lovable.
Yes, the amount of self pity is considerable.
But I somehow find it comforting and it's comfortable.
Being constantly intolerably miserable.
So undeniably alone it's unexplainable.
Inner peace seems so far and unattainable.
The depth of the damage inside is irrecoverable.
What haunts me most is that I am the one responsible.
The desire to perish and leave it all behind is unstoppable.
Is it possible that redemption and light is possible?

God I need you now more than ever.
In your word You promised to stay by my side forever.
Your word promises eternal love and amity.
Stay with me for all eternity and show me peace and serenity.
Help me live a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Help me release all the doubt and resentment.

Lord I need Your presence in my life.
I bring my burden to you and my endless strife.
Unburden me Dear God and carry me under your wings.
Heal me of the world's pains and stings.
In You I place my hope and my trust.
Save me from sin and unjust.

Dear God my heart is broken and I feel weak.
Your strength and guidance is all I seek.
I know that You are always true and faithful.
I know that You watch over me and I am forever grateful.
Dear God please hear my cry for salvation.
Dear God please hear my call for redemption.

This is for you.

This is for the woman with a heart of pure gold.
The young, strong, beautiful and bold.
This is for the sister with tears in her eyes,
Her striking smile still shines.
Hiding all the ache and affliction.
Behind that smile close to perfection,
Is a mother with a broken heart.
Praying for her home not to fall apart.
Husband not so true to his vows that he made in front of God.
Crumbling before her eyes is her whole world.
This is for the girl with a bruised face.
Holding back the tears as she stares into space.
Someone who claims to love her harmed her in that way.
He keeps saying sorry but today is the same as it was yesterday.
This is for the teenage girl who got *****,
Wishing she could have escaped.
She notices her body starting to change,
He growing stomach seems strange.
Another teenage parent,
This is how she fell pregnant,
She fell victim to the most painful crime,
By someone whom she trusted this time.
This is for the unemployed single mother.
Trying to raise her kids with a deceased husband and father.
Striving for every meal,
In the most terrible ordeal.
This is for all the strong ladies out there.
Who live through all the pain and fear.
And for every time you shed a tear,
God is observing.
So don't stop preserving.
You are the heart of the nation.
God's most loved creation.
Forgive all the brothers who wounded you.
For the skies are still blue.
And you are the heart of the nation.
God's most powerful creation.