many things are true,everything is futile;
Death is a must,pain doesnt last;
Change changes ways,to take you another way;
Still, change changes way
Changing to yet another way;
Telling pain is the path you must take;
Not listening, you take the painless way(what you think is a painless path);
Leading to another anguish.

you realize,pain is a must;but doesnt last.
For death steps in the way
And tells you his path is a must to take
Telling you not to fret,
My change is painless to make.

That past seems so dark
And this present so bright
The future just white
But everything changing
This present became my past
Dark in mind
And my future became this present
Painfully bright
And the future just another white
And we go on
Playing the color game
Again and again and again.

I do not care for what is to be.
And neither should you care for what will be .
Living obliviously are we.
One thing is for sure for you and me.
Deaths common hands are for sure to be.

Light of dawn. You shouldn't expect to see.
For it is night. Friend of the enemy, that brings he.
Sleep we call it,He the enemy
Living obliviously are we, to the enemy within he.

Dark of night. You shouldn't expect to see.
For it is light that spawns the enemy.
People we call them, they, the enemy.
Living obliviously are we ,To the vileness within they.

All this, forgotten from within me.
Calming my self with the truth within me, within us.
That deaths common hands are for sure to be.

Shores so big,could have forgotten me
Tides so strong could have taken me
Moon so bright, could have guided me
Grains so fine, could have swallowed me

the tides were strong
Caressing me to surrender
Convinced me to wander
Uncertainity prevailing,gave into pressure

Wandered into the tide
Washed away glide
Into oblivion,as so i wished
As it had been ,my feet started peddling back to where they had been
Back to the shore i came
With the moons rays in my eye

beautiful light is the moon
Truer guide there was none
The moon suddenly had a face
Telling me to move on
Guiding me to shore ahead
To safety and warmth it guided me

Light saved me, i flaunted
My life needs to be played
Played to the end and not squandered
I believed it to be a deity
Least as a sign of deity

Tell me what i have done
Tell me where i have gone
Dripping in my sweat
Sweating, running from what you dont tell me
Running away, cant look back
Tell me why i run
I dont remember i even started running
I dont remember who I saw
I stumbled and fell
Fell in a hole filled with ants
I rose and run again
Running gave me purpose?
Tell me why i run?
Tell my why i cant?
Tell me where to?
Tell me how much?
I will go with you
Tell me or not
I felt i have nothing more to give back
I will run with you to my grave
Be it sand or ice
I will run

All grief all, all sorrow
Was my life
before an angel descended
Sent by god
For me to endure and thrive
Take my hand said she,
Thee will guide you through day and night
That's what my god commanded

I do not lie, I was stricken by words and voice of  such calibre
My grief was no more
But sorrow persisted  
As is the way of sorrow

I asked and prayed to my god
For years that have passed
convinced no body heard

But here lay the voices of my prayers
Looking into eyes
so full of layers
Majestic and magical
So beautiful a creation
My first and last thoughts each day,
Is she my savior?
My sorrow subsides by hearing her
Radiant words
Each day I thank my god so full of kindness

Woke up to a cloudless sky
No white just blue insight
Over the vast horizon
blue and blue alone
No clouds to be seen about
It is when I cleared my eyes
That I was in awe
an awe of fear not of wonder
Only Blue painted above me
Painted past the horizon
Just blue unbound

Looking out, I lay there in my bed
Afraid to move,waiting for white
Hours passed and a cloud came
A single cloud and my fear went

Twas not color of blue that gripped me
Twas a monochrome over such vastness
That brought dread into my soul
No shades of hue to do my work
For night too begets such dread
Waiting its turn to make me afraid
A monochrome brings despair
Whatever its hue, a single is withdrawn
Trying to swallow all it can
Trying to paint all in its path

Shores so big,could have forgotten me
Tides so strong could have taken me
Moon so bright, could have guided me
Grains so fine, could have swallowed me

the tides were strong
Caressing me to surrender
Convinced me to wander
Uncertainity prevailing,gave into pressure

Wandered into the tide
Washed away glide
Into oblivion,as so i wished
As it had been ,my feet started peddling back to where they had been
Back to the shore i came
With the moons rays in my eye

beautiful light is the moon
Truer guide there was none
The moon suddenly had a face
Telling me to move on
Guiding me to shore ahead
To safety and warmth it guided me

Light saved me, i flaunted
My life needs to be played
Played to the end and not squandered
I believed it to be a deity
Least as a sign of deity

Please,what do you see; a city?
Therein, a red eyed man?
Contemplating the knife in his chest
Thinking where his soul lies
No such thing as a soul, believing
No such thing as pain, underestimating

Testing the waters with his hands
,Pulling on the handle;
testing pain and blood;
Where lies my soul cries the man
"i underestimated pain he says", fading
"Why did I do this!," he shouts
"a fiend made me,"he says, crying

His red eyes bigger imagining
Bigger seeing the whole in his chest
He stood on his last strength, to see down
Eyes locked on a stranger down the mountain;
In the heat Within the forests,
"That is the fiend!,
That is the one who took my life", he says bathed in blood.

Yet there was no fiend
There was no man, down the forest
Even there was no forest down the mountain
All imaginations of a pained human.

Few words to speak,A couple I have
Trying to say things,That I want

A vision of a face,Coming to my room
Dead or living ,I hadnt known
But always happens,This vision in dark
Due to my seeing
Seeing of a leaf,In light or dark

Sounds of old,Reminisce in my eyes
A deceased loved one,Laying by
A leaf of eucalyptus ,By his side
Giving an aroma ,an image I cant forget
this leaf,Has not left me
That day and beyond
Each leaf,Reminisce of death
With its green colour,Color of life
Rewinding it one more

Not only color,Reminds of memories
Smells too can show, What you dont want
And no desire to see;
Again death is mingled, Mixed in a sweet aroma
And yet here evil is, With scent that is heavenly
Man on last breathes,Throwing out food
And matters of white Disguised in red
Not take any belonging, Anything to the afterlife
Just throwing up and shaking
Saying no more,Dying
No words,Just eyeing
All this happening, That scent persists
But unfortunately ,I am the only one
That caught the disease
Of memory of the aroma,Of that ghastly smell
My mother is wearing it
Running out of a room
I cry in the bathroom

Soul outside
Seeing the red eyes
Looking at the white

Soul outside
Crying for their eyes
Trying to materialize

Soul outside
Giving subsistence
Perfecting their minds

Soul outside
Fleeing for their lives
Crying for their wives

Soul outside
Seeing the abyss
That disregarded abyss
Which they didn't conceive

Soul outside
All that beauty once before
Has gone into that hole
Which they didn't have regard for

Soul outside
All that they coveted before
Has done nothing, but defile them more
Which they knew corrupted them even more

Soul outside
Longing for the bright
Tomorrows white
Tomorrows wish,joy,thirst of all thing
All this they had before

Soul outside
Seeing the red eyes
Telling them to live peacefully
Not forgetting the pit that may come
Be ridden of anguish by your own hands
With all the glee on your faces
To be ridden of the red eyes.

I was told of its hue
I couldn't see it myself
But I was not blind,
But made not to see
I was told and made to hear
I was told and forced to hear
I was told not to see

They told me of its complexion
More yellow than a sunset, they said
But redder than hell it can be
Fair it can be its reward
Mighty its wrath, they had said

But who decides I asked
And wondered I, this for long
And tried to see
Tried to understand
But again, at every turn
I was told to hear
I was told not to ask
I was told the color
It is yellow and red
White and black
Only this they told me,
And told to moved on.

And I moved on
Moved on to my woes of life
But I found it to be blue,
Not just red and yellow
White or black
I saw,
I saw what it can be
I was not told
I saw

But I am not mad at those that made me only hear
For it is them that made my eyes inquire
Inquire and see
Inquire and understand,
That there are more hues than I was told.
That there is a spectrum to what everything can be.
More to imagine and do
if only we imagine and see
,Imagine and do.

Have you laughed so loud
Smiled so wide
To hide your crying sound
To hide your red eye

Promise me
You wont talk to anybody about your emotions
They are mine and mine alone
I hoped by sharing, i would get solutions
They arent really emotions
They are pathologic
Still i hoped i would get solutions
I hoped and hoped and told anybody that would listen
I guess am stronger
But no solution
It made me lose hope and it has made me stronger
There is nothing more beautiful
Moving through life without hope
I just keep moving

"Become emotionally dead
Leave your body"
This is what i want to become
i am not emotionally dead
I cant help it
I live for my mother
I am afraid to think what would happen
What would happen if she died
I guess ...i dont know
I guess i believe and always believed i would die before her
The things shes been through
At least she has her religion
I dont
"Become emotionally dead,
Leave your body "
I guess i have hope
Becoming emotionally dead is my hope  
Moving has been harder and harder
Everyday
Little by little i have been losing parts of me
I can feel it
I can feel it