They all love her
The way she smiles warms the room
She has it all together.

They all want to be her
The way she can be whatever she chooses
She can change the world.

They all think they see her
The way she turns the other cheek
She always does the right thing.

It’s behind closed doors,
It’s all alone,
It’s where nobody hears.
She screams,
She shouts,
She cries,
She lets the hopelessness of it all set in.

Because what they don’t know is ok.
Because you can only see how broken the home is from the inside.
Because they can think she’s perfect.

So she dries her tears
The way she pulls herself off the ground
She can make it through the day.

she closed her eyes and counted to ten
Just like momma told her
When she was done, she counted again
And she wished through the tears
Someone would hold her.
She dreamed of a perfect family
While she counted and counted away

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
She dreamed of a world
Where brother would come back again
She dreamed that momma didn’t cry
She wished with those tightly closed eyes
That she didn’t wish she wanted to die

Only five years old she hoped to god
One that she didn’t even know
That loud noises could be drowned out
By the numbers in her head
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
Wished momma could come back from the dead
Wished her world wasn’t filled with these
Horrible
Horrible excuses for men

I’m not ok, but does anyone care?
I’m not happy, but no one knows.
I can’t run from my past,
But I have tried countless times.
Darkness is closing in on me,
Threatening to swallow me up.
What do I do?
Where can I turn?
I have no one who really cares
There is no one who can hear my cry

I did this bad thing.
I should feel bad, I think.
Guilt should be consuming me, I think.
But there is a problem.
I don’t feel bad.

I did a bad thing.
I should stop, I think.
It’s unhealthy, I think.
But there is a problem.
I want to again.

I stopped.
I should feel good, I think.
I’m healthy now, I think.
But there is a problem.
I also stopped eating.

It’s all good.
I’m eating healthy now, i think.
I’m all better now, I think.
But there is a problem.
Relapse.

One last song
One last sigh
Cause sometimes when you’re not around I just cry
I don’t wanna lose you
So I push you away

I can’t show you the pain I feel inside,
I know that you won’t understand.
It will do no good,
To be true to you.

Don’t believe in me you’ll just be disappointed
Don’t remember me cause I can’t have you loving me
When I’m not worth all you have to offer

I’m saying goodbye and it’s better for you
Don’t let me down, go find a better life

I don’t want to have you
For fear I might lose you
So I push you away
Before you get to close,
Before you see the real me,
Before you say love

Everyday, girls look in the mirror
and don’t like what they see.
Too fat,
Too skinny,
Too flat,
Too ugly.
Caking on makeup like a baker,
They try to cover their imperfections
And who can blame them?
All they have ever seen in the world is negativity
Women are taught they can be strong? Maybe
But most of these “strong women” have gotten there by looking pretty.
Guys cat call girls and give them compliments like “ur hot”
And even if they think it’s nice, it’s really not
Words like these teach women they need to look the part in order to be worth something
That they need to be by the side of a man
After all, what’s a queen without a king
They are hidden from the beautiful truth
Which has affected women all the way down to today’s youth
Women need to see they are worth more than society tells
They shouldn’t be bound to housework and sold from their family to a husband at the sound of wedding bells.
We are strong, without the help of the man
Independent, powerful, anything we want to do we can
So wipe that makeup from your face,
Cause you don’t need it anymore.
You may think you need it to be “pretty,”
But I am positively sure,
You looked way better the way you were before

I had best friends.
I had positivity.
I had a happy life.
I was hopeful for a bright future.
I felt good...

...But then I didn’t.

Thoughts drifted into my head.
They started small at first,
But soon grew like wild fire.
Choking out the positivity,
The happiness,
The hope,
The good feelings.
All that was left was darkness,
Numbness,
Emptiness,
Loneliness.
All my friends were gone,
Replaced,
By a cold file floor,
By fluorescent lighting,
By *******.