Falling deep into the emptiness of space

Worthlessness
loneliness miss guided and missed placed

A sinking feeling a cold shiver
A life time of tears float within one river

Darkness and sorrow a feeling so hollow

The bitter sweetness of life but no dreams  to follow

Lives ruined hearts crushed

A whirl pool of pain continued to be flushed

A broken soul that tries to mend

A shattered heart that fears the end

A battered body a soulless  smile

A mountain filled with sadness
That  stretches over a mile

My heart that once loved
Has been corrupted by hate

My  world has been left in a darkened state

A brewing storm that's  on the rise
To cover up my guilt to hide all my lies

The mist setting in my shield of cover

The thickening of the air as I continue to smother

Stuck  on  an endless cycle that continues to go round

******* with my demons
I'm emotionly bound

This viscous cycle of self destruction

A broken spirit that can no longer function

A tainted young soul that can no longer cope

A mind so brittle Its lost all hope

Standing on the edge ready to let go

The pain this girl felt no one should ever know

I am so lost and there's not a road that leads back
I continued down a dark path  constantly veering  of the track.
I kept walking through the darkness leaving broken pieces of me behind
A trail of bread crums that no one will ever find
Stumbling through the shawdows
Making all the same mistakes
Tumbling round and round until my sanity finally breaks
I have reached a destination but my mind has taken its toll
I met so many demons they finally tainted my soul
Im at a cross roads i hault and stand still
I no longer have the energy no strengh Nor the will
I fall down to my knees and place my hands over my head
I relise im just a empty vessle because inside i am dead

I want you to relise the bad choices you made
If you didn't treat me so wrong i would have stayed
I was deep in love but your true colours started to show
Manipulation was your invitation and making me feel so  low
You wanted the power and everything your own way
I started to see the darkness your love for me fade away
You held yourself up high
you throught your hold on me was strong
So self centered and in denile
you couldnt see you were  in the wrong
I grew tired of the lies
sick of all the games
Being used and abused and you calling me names
You just wanted me to be a slave
You wanted me to obey
But i started to notice you would belittling me
In everything you would say
You wanted to be a king
I wanted to be your queen
Not a loyal peasant
That you could demean
I wanted your love not a broken heart
But you must of had cruel intentions
set from the start

I cover you up and hide You beneath
As ugly as you are were my Only release
But now you cause shame and make me  insecure
You cover a body that was once  soft and  pure
Its like looking at a map a road from the past
Written in blood those scars will forever last
You show the emotions of the pain that i  hold
You unmask clues
my deepest secrets that werent told
You cause me  more suffering
but even more regret
Because You remind me of the pain
that i just want to  forget

I dont want to live yet i dont want to die
I cant seem to laugh i cant seem to cry
Its like my life has paused only time is only going By
How can i be alive but feel so dead
Emotions but emptyness running through my head
Im just waiting for the end but still continue to hold onto hope
I keep climing every hill but fall with every  *****
I pick myself up but constantly falling back down
I suddenly feel a smile things start to turn around
Changing so quickly my smiles lost within my frown
I start to climb again but stumble down and fall
Deppression starts to set in
Hope is no more
Surrounding myself with a 50 foot wall

You ****** me in you made me feel i could live again.  
I played the fool thinking i could trust another man.
But you played the cards and you played the so well i couldnt see that i was loosing myself.
I was so blinded By your lies and your charm i failed to see you were causing me harm
You grabbed my hand and lead me astray taking me down a path where i lost my way
You left me so lost my mind so confused youve darkend my soul that was already bruised

How could i be such a fool to love  someone as selfish as you
How could i follow you down a track where i couldnt find my way back
How could i loose everything  relying on chance
hypnotized By love i was stuck in a trance
How could you be so sadistic so deceiving and so cruel
To treat a women like that and then play the victim the fool

You flamed my heart with promises and lies you got the fire burning but the fire always dies
I got in too deep and relised there's no where to turn
So i followed you deeper into the pitts and you left me there to burn.
My life turned to ashes my soul turned to dust
My head fried in pieces my heart turned to rust.

All I  ever known was misery and betrayal , used and abused and destined to fail.
I didn't have faith I felt no hope struggling with the pain I could barely cope.
I had no one that cared and no where to go,  stuck in a wirl pool sinking deeper below .
I sunk to a point where I just wanted to die,  flooded with so much pain I had little tears left to cry.
I would cry myself to sleep praying for god to take me.  To get me out of this place so I could be free.
But he didn't listen I continued to fall fragile and scared I couldn't cope no more.  
I begged my mother for help but she didn't seem to care.  
I was a waste of time which she didn't want to spare.
I would barricate myself in my room
And hide under my bed.  All the messed up visions running through my head.  
For I new what was coming but I still tried to hide.
Then would come the blackmail I had to abide.
My memories still haunt me to this day.  That feeling of fear will never fade away.
And of course it didn't stop there abuse after abuse I started not to care.
I started to think I deserve to be punished,  but what for
Maybe I deserved this from the life I lived before.
I couldn't understand why I had  to go through this pain.
Years after years different men but the same.
I thought it would never end I thought I was too blame.
So I thought maybe death is the only way.  So I started cutting getting deeper and deeper every day.  I started noticing it was taking the pain away.
But then it became a normal habit my heart could no longer mend
So I swallowed packets of pills thinking this has to come to an end.