"Mahal kita pero ang sakit sakit na"

"Let's break up." I said in between my sobs.

Tiningnan niya ako ng nanlilisik ang mata.
"Ano? Potangina naman. I already said sorry. Ginawa ko naman lahat.  Ano pa bang gusto mo ha?" Kasabay neto ang pabalibag niyang pagsara ng pinto.

"Ayoko na. Paulit-ulit na lang tayo. Ganun pa rin yung ginagawa mo. Pa'no naman ako ha? Nakakagago lang talaga eh. Ang sakit sakit na. Tuwing nakikita kita, sa araw araw tayong magkasama bumabalik lahat. Pinipilit ko namang kalimutan eh. Kaso hindi ko na talaga kaya. Ayoko na." Patuloy kong iyak habang nakayuko. Ayoko siyang tingnan sa mata. Natatakot ako baka bigla kong bawiin yung mga salitang binitiwan ko. Hindi ko na kaya.

Tumayo ako habang nagpupunas ng luha kong patuloy sa pag agos at tumalikod. Ngunit bigla niya akong niyakap at sumubsob siya sa leeg ko.

"N-No. W-wag kang umalis. A-ayoko. H-Hindi tayo maghihiwalay." Umiiyak niyang sabi.

Pag buhay ka people keep on talking how useless you are as person. They don't realize your worth unless your dead. It's funny how we live in that kind of society. Kahit anong gawin mo or ipakita mo para patunayan na "you can do it" wala rin. That's why most of the people are trying to commit suicide, suffering from a depression and they think that they are alone. Kasi sa bahay pa lang nila wala na. Kaya umabot sa punto na once na Hindi nila kaya they come up to a decision na mahirap manggawin ay ginagawa nila para makatas sa kalungkutan. That's the time where they realize your worth like "Matulungin at saka mabuti naman yung taong yan."

Kasabay nang pagbanggit mo ng "Mahal kita" dahan-dahan kang kumalas sa mga yakap ko habang sinasabi mo ang katagang "Pero, mas mahal ko siya"
Hindi ako makapaniwala sa aking narinig. Pilit na tinatanong sa 'king sarili "Ano? Anong nangyari? Bat nagkaganto?"
Nangungusap ang mga mata, tumingin sa langit habang lumuha ng nakapikit.
Hindi mawari ang lahat. Ito na ba? Ito na ba ang ating katapusan?
Hindi, Hindi ko kaya. Ayoko, ayoko pa. Maawa ka!

"Kumusta ka na? Naaalala mo pa ba ako?" Tanong niya.

Natawa ako ng bigla siyang nag tanong.
Sige sige, basahi mo ang bawat saknong.
Teka, sa'n ko ba sisimulan?
Doon ba sa iniwan mo ko ng walang dahilan?

"Sorry mahal. May ginawa lang akong importante. Nakalimutan ko na may gan'to ka palang inihanda." Humahangos **** sabi.

Nakaupo't nakangiti sa isang sulok.
Pilit na binabalewa ang dahilan **** bulok.
Hindi ka na naman nakarating sa ating piging.
Sarap **** ibitin sa baging.

Kumusta ako? Gagohan ba 'to?

Baby, you're my everything
And she's your something
How about your one thing?
Considered now as nothing?

Sometimes your sweet and caring.
Look at me now, falling
To assume things cause you give motives
Of your flowery words that I always receive.

I will not say that I am sad
Even though you hurt me so bad
I'm scared of the pain that slips my mind
And traumatized when I left behind.

"I am being murdered by my own mind." She said

"How can you say that?" Someone asked.
"I can't explain why. And even if I did. You wouldn't understand."

"When you made a mistake people will automatically judge you for it, for the rest of your life."

Nobody's perfect. Everyone always makes mistake. We live in this kind of society, that when you're fat, flat chested, don't even know how to speak english, a drug user or a pusher, a **** or *****, a thief, a criminal or an ex convict, and etc. People will mock you. They will look at you like you don't deserve to live in this world. They will not listen to you on how did you come up with that kind of situation. Because all they know is they will judge you for what you've done. They will never listen to you whatever your explanations are. They will only judge and judge you until you've given up. I am just a human, no we're just like that. Humans are not perfect. Born to live there own life not to pleased you nor to be perfect. Everyone deserve a second Chance, no one's deserve to be treated in a not so nice way. Because I believe that "We're idiot if we did the same mistakes twice" And how can a man change if you kept on judging him for the rest of his life? You don't have the right to do that unless you've been in that situation where his choice is to end his life. Don't be so cruel. Maybe it's the reason why many people end their life without hesitation or thinking that they have a family to support for them whatever happens. I hope we don't live in this kind of society where people only see the mistake of others not their own mistake..

Ikaw at ako
Oo. Ikaw at ako lang.
Dahil walang tayo,
Walang tayo..