It wasn't a ****,
Honest!
It was my shoe rubbing the floor,
I promise!
Ok,
So the noise can't be recreated,
I still don't want this debated.
I.
Didn't.
****.

Just because I’m silly
Doesn’t mean I have nothing to say
And if you peer a little more closely
You may learn something new today.
My lessons come coated in sugar,
And with giggling, and me laughing away,
Because life’s too short to be serious
So join me in shouting HOORAY!

I wouldn’t scale Everest
For you,
Because I’d find it a little cold.
Not only that though,
I’m not really very bold.
Plus the chances of me achieving it
Are pretty much
Slim to none, but I would
Stroke your arms
Gently
And do the same to your ***!

Oooh, hello!
Well that was a bit of a surprise.
Like a sneeze that came from nowhere,
A poem in me did arise.

I’m deffo no Emily Dickinson
But I do so enjoy the ride.
When poetry makes its way out of you
It should never be brushed aside.

Don’t worry if you think it’s inferior,
Finding flowing words feels fun,
It’s all about relishing the experience,
If you don’t agree - up yer ***!

I want all of your dreams to come true.

But not that one about the killer shoe!

I mean the nice ones

You have when you’re awake,

Imagining yourself

In a lovely place,

Doing the things that

Make your heart race.

A great retort
Often comes up short.
I try and be clever
But I can’t do it whenever.
The day after, of course,
Replies come to me with force

And are not so ‘yeah, well, you’re just a big thicko!’

‘What’s it doing?’ Mum said,

Standing in front of the llama’s head.


But I was too busy running

to give a reply;

She soon found out the reason why!