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2
Lilah Feb 2018
2
you asked if i wanted you to stay
i mumbled and rolled over
longing for sleep
that was all i wanted and you had no part in it
but you stayed
you turned me back over
told me you were taking off my pants,
then they were gone.

i lay there still, but you didn’t stop
now i didn’t want to fall under sleep’s healing spell
i needed to.
but you didn’t stop


hickeys
scratches
a theatrical moan and arch in my spine
all but an excruciating facade,
a wail for help and writhing agony
but you hadn’t heard me before
and you didn’t comprehend now
and that was enough for you to be satisfied

i returned my clothing to where it belonged
and sleep snatched me away, where i thought i belonged
but this time she didn’t heal
she pressed pause



and when the sun pressed play again
a new torment rose with me
i lost my trust in the light’s ability to light me
and the night’s ability to refresh

and perhaps the sun stopped trusting me too,
bestowing a dread each morning,
and reminding me of those questions
i knew it best not to ask

like what did i do wrong
what am i doing to make myself hurt so much now
what is enough
and what if i can’t escape the sun’s mistrust now
5
Lilah Feb 2018
5
art is my place
writing, my emotions
and both scramble
foolishly
to create a place for me
to gather my scattered being from the stars

but i must devote my strewn stars
so that they trace a glimmering path as i fall
and i must make the beauty that makes me
6
Lilah Feb 2018
6
and the black mist creeps up
unfurling to swallow
every tingle of myself

and the black mist seeps in
whisking away breaths of smiles
claiming my stomach

it constricts
wringing tears from my eyes
and sobbing gasps from my throat

and continues

and when it finally ends
i want to follow it
now
Lilah Feb 2018
now
what is this life
but a vast collection of experiences
waiting to be taken from their shelves
and have their ribbons untied at will

— The End —