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Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
Just big enough for Sundays was Cyril
In his grey shirt and v neck sweater
Following his wife up the road, closely,
He helped carry the shopping from the red bus
The few minutes walk home;
Then as it was Sunday, chicken roast
Then meringue, fruit and cream.

The sitting room was comfy
With two brown velour chairs
Cyril and Joyce sat together
One in each chair to watch the box.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2019
I have learnt to expect nothing
Content on the pillows with my
Failing eyes and intense thought
We were made remarkably simply
So in the end just dust drifts down.

Love Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
The waves tickled the beach with their coming
Just on the turn, gathering shells and shingle
The sand was sloppy, waterlogged,
You watched me skip along the bay
A brief honeymoon in a homemade wedding dress
With the bouquet of pink roses in a guest room vase
They must have surmised our new status
I felt surprisingly shy.


Love Mary **
Our wedding day at WestWittering in the seventies
Katie as yet hidden inside me .
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
I use to to call you funny boy
Because you made me laugh
With that wide smile
And cheeky grin
Red hair like a Cabbage Patch doll.

Clever with puzzles on the floor
Computer games you adored
Always shy when I called
School reports I could applaud.

All the teachers thought you bright
Gave you prise for your insight
But they did not yet see
The hidden qualities to be.

On your bike on the green
Travelling round with a team
Many friends you did have
Turned into a likely lad.

From that quiet and shy child
Something different did emerge
Clever , yes, without a doubt
But cared little for convention's shout.

Dyed your hair bright blonde
Wearing earrings wasn't wrong
All the teachers turned to see
Someone cheeky as could be .

To my funny boy, Kasper, love Grandma xxxx
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
First and dimpled blessed babe
Born to me on an Autumn day
By my side in your cot
A tiny face, I never forgot
For a while I looked on you
Stroked your hair tenderly
On my chest you did lie
Like a crimson butterfly .

I will take care of you
Wrap you from the
Evening chill
In my arms
Or on my breast
My tiny blackbird, rest.

Do not worry I am here
Standing by the open door
Listening for each and
Every stir
The ******* of
A hungry girl
There never was
A day so fine
As when I knew
You were mine .

Love From Mummy ***
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
Running fingers through nutmeg hair
You claimed the silky tree bark
Black ribbons in a sea of leaves
And a brown checked school dress.

Love Mummy x
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
In a garden that edged the farm
With cast iron railings as a fence
And windy plants that claimed the bars
Stood a little girl.

Dark her hair and dark her eyes
Against a short and checkered dress
There she was with a birthday cake
On a table on the ground.

Bigger than she herself
This cake two tiers high
Decorated in scalloped lace and yellow
Piped flowers.

Pretty little daughter of mine
Though only two
You smiled away with gladness
And I, so loved you .


Love Mummy x
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
The cards build up in layers
The entire length of my mantelpiece
I keep those of people I love in front
So on entering the room, each morning,
There are my friends waiting for me.
I find it very difficult
To throw any away
It hurts to do so,
Thank you.


Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2018
I like hedges long, short, slim, wide
Curving round bends on ends
It has to be Privet, smells divine
Like a strange type of wine.

Outside mansions or on council estates
Scruffy and woody where leaves flake
Cut into chickens or kangaroo topiary
Covered in Christmas lights at night.

I just love Hedges.

Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
I saw you fill the park
Tall and grey
Like Gandalf
A book of spells to hand
And cloaked against the rain.

Long strides across grass
Pink shirted king
A circular crown
Shoes trodden down
Waiting for the Wedding to end.

Love Mary for Roger ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
A cheeky robin sat upon brambles
Its red breast puffed and bright
Had fed on scraps from birdtables
A little king at rest.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
A birds kiss had been his song
On every celebration
This was his greeting of love
Such a beauty within
Had the boy
Though for he
The shadows rolled
A tresspassing volt
Leaving tenderness
Unhinged.

To Milo
Love Grandma

***
Mary Gay Kearns May 2019
And so it went on sale in Knightsbridge
A little gallery hardly seen
A painting of a ceramic ***
Tiny with two eyes
Pallid in the beam.

The man bought it for its thoughts
That led him in a quiet dream
Of places where he use to hide
Memories of shelves and spaces
And childhood’s magic theme.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Nov 2019
The full blood count was up
The oxygen level edging down
We saw the last scans results
Tears dropped
The radio went off
And the curtain flickered.

Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
Finding this place has allowed
My family to know how I feel
To capture memories to read
To tell how much I love each
In a special and particular way.

In doing this I read the words
Written by others for reasons
That they know not quite
And oh how similar we are
Under Van Gogh's Cosmic sky.

Love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2018
The ladybird queen in spotted black
And dark wings floating down her back
Leant leisurely over the bedroom frame
This ladybird might one day leave home.


She lifted gown of crimson silk
And hopped around as if bespoke  
The dress stretched to her biggest toe
And golden hair about her glowed.

Oh darling ladybird I do love thee
To see you dancing fair and free
On your highest bedroom wall
A special insects for us all.

Love to Evelyn ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
Achievement wore her smartest frock,
Held out the drapes that all might see,
For a while it danced within her frame,
Delighted at such a fiery flame,
Then quietly laid down in a box,
But its wonders did remain.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
Wisdom is not born but grows
Harboured under great uncertainty
Found from a struggled life
Known at the end as beauty
The integrity of the soul’s
Last journey.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
Last one

Shy at the door your face hides the words
And yet a cheeky smile grows into humour
Wicked with irony and oh so tight.
You make me laugh every time
Baring the truth for all to hear,
And littlest daughter you draw
As beautifully as Picasso,
Volumes full of roundness and strength.
Look at all those children you bred
All gorgeous as buttermilk.
Love you for who you became
Wise and worldly in a harsh world.

Love Mum xxxx
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
This house on the corner with a tree
A bright green tree with fingered leaves
Is the last place for me to close a door
Pick a dandelion from a circle of grass.

A destination miles from an arrival
Where all doors keep open to the blue
Complétion of a life, my last window
To look out of and sit here with you.


Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
To those who lied to me, continually, and to save face
I do not give them forgiveness handed out on a plate
May they in times of trouble
Remember how they called
And bleed their hearts out slowly
And be sorry for their score.

I cannot change the powerful
Those who hold the cards
I am only weak and vulnerable
No longer have my hour
So after all the struggle
It was all a waste of time
No one ever surrendered
Not an inch of their
Grisly barb.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Aug 2018
The past is a different country they say
Lost to us, lonely, forgotten, gone away
But that is our choice whether it remains
Or with glass ashtrays and photo frames.

Our past is a history of learned transcripts
Of written letters , conversations we had
It changed each future life that is now led
A continuity of patterns discarded or glad.

Love Mary xxxx

Love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
She's very pretty
And you've been looking
I know you have
You like her
Don't you
She's your favourite
You like to see her each day
To stand near her
You have to
I know
Almost everyday
I like making up stories for you
As we make love
Because I love you.

For my Roger love Mary
Remembering the good times .love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Let's write a story
Where shall we start
Who will be the characters
What will be their parts?
I like fairies, you like cars
Dragons are plentiful
In these parts.
Get me Galadriel
The beautiful queen
And Aragon so handsome
Maidens just swoon
A couple of hobbits
To sing a merry song
And we'll find an adventure
To go travelling on.

Love Mary ***
Thank you Roger for reading me Lord of The rings so many timesxxx
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Let’s play dear brother
As we never did before
But with an understanding
Together once more.

Out in the garden
Climbing the trees
Drawing and painting
Just you and me .

Love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
I only have words
If they are of use to you
Pretty ones and silly
Ones with a lot of chew.
These words that I give
Are all I have for you
So put them in a paper bag
And open when you choose.

Love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
I have to be brave enough
Not to mind being forgotten
For most days.
To no longer be a card on a shelf
Or a phone call away
Letting others' days
Be their own
Unhindered by sorrows
Or sad memories
Or burdened by my wanting
To be carried around
Like a honoured trophy.
This has to be my last gift
A real gift of love
Which says be free
Of me and all that I was
Because your days
Are another time
And have their splendour.
Goodnight my dearest
Children, goodnight.


Love Mum, Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
Van Gogh's models were the poor,
The peasants, hungry with grief,
Girls lost and lonely in misery,
The sewer for whom time was a thief.

Manet came from the classes,
His models passionately posed,
One controversial painting,
Naked and eyes not closed.

Delacroix had them writhing,
Like snakes in an arabesque,
Or standing there half- naked,
A banner wrapping their head.

Then we come to Picasso,
The woman and girls that he loved,
Painted with ultimate tenderness,
A child holding a dove.

Go back in time to the medieval,
Where models turned into saints,
And angels surrounding madonnas
Quietly came and went.

Today the life class is different,
Feminism has made it unclean,
And Art Schools practice the video,
Naked bodies now rarely seen.

But drawing from observation,
Is a skill perfected by work,
Letting  the imagination,
Creating a beauty that lasts.

Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2018
Christmas lights by Pickwicks
A variety pack of colours
With dancer’s skirts
Frilled edges, sharp.

Loose bulbs, unstable filaments
Twisted black flex
Two spare bulbs
And a flasher.

On and off, off and on
Different sequences
Alternative time durations
Reflecting our life story.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns May 2018
I will hear you calling across the stars
Lift up my wings in a heavenly bow
I will sing to you now and for always
Lonely feet drifting, waving as I go.

Lighter than thoughts lost in a dream
Never to be found, never to be seen
I will love you my one glittering boy
I will hear you calling across the stars

Love Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
Lightly Laden.

It had been there for a long time,
Clinging to the edges,
Waiting to be opened,
Preciousness,
Residing in space,
Between then,
And the unknown,
Hopeful.

Who dares disturb this,
Imagining,
Replacing contemplation,
With fact.
For in these weeks, months, years,
Everything that will,
Or ever could,
Is still possible.

Love Mary ***
Differences of time .Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2020
Lilies
Will you wait by the lilies side
In your flowery shirt
Wait for me by the church
In the country road, casually,
And carry me home at last
Never, longer to be alone.

Love Mary xxxx
Mary Gay Kearns Nov 2019
Will you wait by the lilies side
In your flowery shirt
Wait for me by the church
In the country road, casually,
And carry me home at last
Never, longer to be alone.

Love Mary xxxx
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
With your flower name
A face pretty enough to frame
A talent greater than us all
In your sketch books
Carefully formed.
Animals are your best
In many different coloured tests.

Returned to college to complete
That ability you have so neat
And a loving daughter be.
To all your family .


Wish you wisdom in your days
Happiness along the way
Surprises that give you joy
And success as you toil.


Love Grandma ***



Thank
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
We are limits lost and found
Created and removed
A moment of magnificient
Beauty on the go.

Love Mary ***
Could say more but no need to. Love Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
Out of the door past the flowering Camelia
And barely bursting rose buds
The white hellebores with their
Down turned eyes
And swaying narcissus
I run to catch them all
As they scatter the road
With their dancing
Tripping in and out of rhythm
With each other
Throwing ***** across
To catch,
The wind gathers them up
To the park entrance
Our lovely park
Green with many trees
I reach them at last
We float down the avenue
Linking arms with
A child's pleasure
We are here
All together
Forever.

Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Kisses weren't apples
But the feel of liquid
Holding on to time
Stretching out desire
To the end of completeness.

Love Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Sep 2018
Every morning she went out for a walk
To find where the fallow meadows swept
And one bright clover peeped its head
In the foliage of wild leaf and green grass.

This part of the day was the beginning of joy
As far as she could look back and see her way
The lovely land dew wet on the leather shoes
And little Alfie to remember passing his way.

Love Mary ***
This poem was inspired by my dear friend Pam’s morning walks
And thé photos she shared with me .
Little Alfie was her baby grandson who died at two hours old and
Some of the walk take her past his little headstone

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Gentle little bird
Always in grey
Like an old soft toy
I’ll take you in a box
Plop you down
In a special spot
Where there are trees
And bumble bees
A bottle of water
And sandwich too.
Gentle little bird
You were heard.

Love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
Little Dutch girl
So plainly dressed
In white frock and apron
And cotton cloth cap.

Feet made for walking
The hard cobble streets
Hands that will carry
Provisions bought.

A life of simplicity
Quietly led
With homemade toys
A wooden  dolly's bed.

You hear stories from
Maids in the house
Kitchen mischief
And musical mice.

When you're a woman
What will you choose
A life of domesticity
Or another route.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2018
Oh little garden new this year
The beginning just begun
The seeds and saplings planted
To start a journey long.

This gift of nature to another
Was given out of love
So they may know what I have
And also know my love.

Love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
I think of you little mummy
When the snow gathers round your gravestone
Creeping up the sides of the white marble
Touching the words with its soft hands
Covering the overturned urn
As the last flowers lay like a fan
Uniting you and daddy
Under the lightest eiderdown.

Love Mary your daughter .
Christchurch Totland with the lamb sculpture on the front wall.
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Two eyes appeared from under a broadrimmed hat.
They looked around with astonishment.

In a schoolroom, far off in the distance, a boy was
Busy making a wooden bowl.
The teacher unaccustomed to such slowness
Requested a completion date.
“I am not slow thought the boy, just working
Away until I get it right.”
He met the teacher’s gaze with an expression
Of opacity and a sense of bewilderment.

On another day, at a later date, this same boy
Was found in his metalwork class applying
Cylinders of gases to his small creation, quietly,
Hoping for a connection before he was blown
To smithereans. Two blue eyes concentrated as
The jets of flames hissed into space.
Too long the gases flowed.
The master rose, the boy shook and his eyes
Widened.

In a playground, sometime earlier,
A small boy could be seen playing without a coat.
Gossiping women spoke of this unnatural act,
This exception to the fold. The boy stared back
Hearing their words with his eyes.

Decades later when his hair had turned from
Brown to grey but his eyes were still blue
And wide apart, he painted a little ***
Sitting on a pale surface, gazing into nothingness.
This painting took him a long time.
He had to get it right, the tones , the lines,
The connections.

After he finished ‘Little ***’, he sat down
And stared into the two blue blobs set wide
Apart on its surface and he thought, “this is
Me, the boy, the man, the painter, of wide
Apart, unnameable moments.”

The Beginning.

Love Mary ***
With love to Ian, and all my family
And in Praise of Slowness.
Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
The little girl who opened
The world of clinking shells.

Love Grandma ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
Living with the Marigolds.

Kindness dwells in the hearts of few,
It encircles them like a gown,
But never is worn with mightIness,
Being humble bound.

It finds its way through thorn and briars and
knotted coastal paths,
And grows where disparity lies,
And knows of broken hearts.

It does not come from trouble free
Or selfish intent,
Living with the marigolds,
A simple garden scent.

For those who have travelled far,
Know the ways within,
Find giving more sustaining,
Than all that power can bring.

Love Mary xxxx
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
Inside the church garden of St Mary’s
We ate our egg and cheese sandwich
A child came out dressed as an angel
Clothed in white with a frown
The boy cried because he was not Mary
Great droplets of tears from black globes
And there they stood the play not begun
My two lollipop friends
The photograph now in my room.


Love Grandma Xxxxx
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2018
The Lonliness of that road
Leading to a point
Ending in finality
Finishing quite frank.

It is green and far to be seen
Closed equilateral triangle
Destination, deciduous
Leaf, never to regrow.

Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
She sits as only little girls do
Playing with the ends of her hair
Watching the boats come in
And go out
On the choppy Solent waves.
The shingle is wet glass
And clouds form playful shapes.
Looking behind she sees her father
Smiling as he carries dripping lollies
To console a sunless afternoon.

He reaches the promenade
With its concrete *****
Balancing feet without sight
He slowly walks towards her.
She senses his vulnerability
Love pours out
Soaking her dress with spray
As she moves
To help him
Those last few steps.

Love Mary
For her dear  father , Eric William Henry Ayton-Robinson
From his ever grateful daughter Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
She stood at the window
Hoping for rain
The sleeves of the cotton dress
Loose
And her shoes muddy.

‘Why’, she thought,
Sitting down at last
Did the world have to be so
Forgettable
Loose strands of grass.

Love Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Everything I lose,
Each day a little surprise,
A hoped for beauty,
Falls away,
And I am in tatters
Torn and scraped
Beside those
Ever ending
Chains.


Love Mary ***
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