I never said goodbye to mother
As she lay all shrunken in bed
Her hair in a grey ponytail
Her face frightened and white.

Nobody told me she was dying
As my father sat by her side
The nurses suggested sagaciously
I needed to come in a short time.

But I never got to her bedside
Before the ringing of the phone
Announcing that she had faded
And would not be back again.


Love you dear mother
So sorry not to be with you , miss you .Mary xxxx

Went to stay in London when I was but a child
Stayed with my Aunty Betty always a bit wild
Put me in a bedroom that smelt of soap and lace
Decorated in liliac, that was the latest taste.
Sat in the front room overlooking the street
Books on the painters displayed very neat
Listened to the classics,  music I'd never heard
Sipped percolated coffee, never said a word.

By the grand piano a table of pretty shells
A collection from holidays in Corsica and Wales
Where there was a fireplace stood a new gas fire
Above it a reprint of Van Gogh's sunflowers
Lunch in the kitchen with a room filled with light
Yellow painted walls to keep everything bright
Plastic chairs from Heels the strings made a ridge
Susie Cooper tea cups soup with crusty bread.

Salad in a basket black pepper to add
Ice cream for pudding I was really glad
Ate all my dinner then to the garden went
Under the Willow together on a creeky bench
Wondered round the garden, listened to church bells
Thought this an unusual life no children to tell
I loved my Aunty Betty the stories she would spell
Of places on Greek Islands, her boyfriend as well.

John was a teacher, literature of course
He wrote lengthy poems and took photographs
They went to the theatre the ballet and special films
They lived not together but an hours dream
John in the country Betty in the town
Was simply perfect for them to get around
I looked at all her photos when Betty was young
The ones with her sister who also was my mum.
Although they were different alike in many ways
They both chose the sweet life but felt the other's sway
My mother had two children with little money to spare
Betty had not got any so that made her rare.

They both died at eighty their influence great
Thank you Grace and Betty you both have your place.


Love Mary daughter and niece **

I will hear you calling across the stars
Lift up my wings in a heavenly bow
I will sing to you now and for always
Lonely feet drifting, waving as I go.

Lighter than thoughts lost in a dream
Never to be found, never to be seen
I will love you my one glittering boy
I will hear you calling across the stars

Love Mary

I think I shall buy
Some Vintage Alam Bay glass
The shop is now empty
These many years passed.

Was near the bottom
Of the Totland Bay Hill
I would stand there often
For hours at a spell.

A double fronted window
Stretching the place of two
Filled with many cabinets
Holding colourful jewells.

Owned by the company
Alam Bay Glass
Made at the Seaside shop
Where people did pass.

Swans, ducks and hens
Abstract shapes
Blown from a tube
Until they'd inflate.

Then there was twisting
After the blast
Beautiful bubbles
Of shiny spiralled glass.

Have to look on eBay
The only place they'll be
Maybe quite cheaply
My childhood memories.

Love Mary x

Under a hermit sky you sit
The roof has fallen in and the poem
Begins.
But your not reading the quest
Answering only questions
You like the best.
There's a boy crossing a river
So you decide to fall in
Chasing the dog as he swims.

On the river bank someone calls
And for a minute
You decide to revise.
Taking a pencil to write some lines
Like 'I'm extremely bored'.
You attempt to comply
But all the words flake
On the black and white screen.
At least you don't have Fakebook.

Love Grandma

On the beach the children playing
In the August Summer sun
Splashing, swishing, dancing, laughing,
Jumping backwards handstands done.
Watch the sparkling and the glistening
Hear the water's gentle song
Stand together for a moment
Realise life can be such fun.


Love to Lizzie and her nine beautiful children,
Mum ,Grandma xxxx

Barney boy blonde and slender,
From that bundle of tender joy,
Came this happy, playful nature,
This stoic lad who faced the world.

Loved his cars with a passion,
One that grew into a dream,
Met the challenges ,succeeded,
Got a job with those machines.

Sitting by the flowing river,
Barney and his maiden queen,
With the bluebells all about them,
Gentle in their hearts the stream.

Always loving in your kindness,
A valuing of simple things,
Remembering your childhood laughter,
Your love of tiny sweetie things.

Love Grandma xxxx

Understanding that you can rarely change things
It is best just to forget and simply go on in doubt
Hope rides its own journey on the back of a bike
Children  send photos and come round to watch.

This is the itinerary of the invalided life and care
It stretches to the isles of the church and the roses
To the solicitude of waiting for door bell rappings
To ‘End Game’and all its imagination of the reality.

Love Mary xxxx

A birds kiss had been his song
On every celebration
This was his greeting of love
Such a beauty within
Had the boy
Though for he
The shadows rolled
A tresspassing volt
Leaving tenderness
Unhinged.

To Milo
Love Grandma

***

I shall miss you
Though me be gone
And the chair
Filled with toys.

And flowers bloom
In the afternoon
From a window
I once knew.

Love Mummy x

Love Mary x

As one follows the coast line round
Dipping in and out of the coves
Floating flat out for a mile or two
Swimming back under the night sky
What is it of importance, something obtained
That may have changed the course of another
Be held onto as daylight fades.

Ones children are our lessons learnt at a cost
Remembered and cherished, found and lost
They show us who we are, the good and the bad
And take with gratitude the best that we have.
Four gold sovereigns placed in a line from
Each I carry sixpences that helped make life shine
In the coves find some oddments to go on a shelf.

Mary ***

The B road got progressively steeper until no more
Could the bike seat carry you.
Stopping by the edge of the road at evening
We all decided walking was needed to get home.

With the bottom of your hair bending a curl
And green homemade dress we’d cycled from Staines
Tiredness suddenly overcame high spirits
So the five bikes pushed slowly along.

We took to cycling as a mode of movement
Free and fast the ways belonged to us and time
Home was food, drink and bed, memories
Stored in our legs and head for forty years.

love Mary

She opened her Christmas presents in
The room with the lighted fur tree
One special from her grandma was Sasha
A very collectible and beautiful doll.

Having bought lots of clothes for Sasha,
Grandma had hoped the little girl
Would have been given them, all,
To play with on Christmas Day.

But this never happened
The box not utilised
A few unmatched given
Grandma cried at her gift.

Being so unconsidered.

Love Mary ***

I'm holding on and you can't come
I travel alone you hold my phone
And it rings on and on
But to answer would be wrong
And I send my love
Far out
To the world I knew
It was you and you .
And I am dancing cause I'm sad
We are together it's true
But the night is dark
I'm alone.

Love Mary ***

Maybe after the grass is cut
Things will get better.

Love Mary **

If you close your eyes
You will remember how
We wrapped together
In the cold dark night.

How we walked the park
As the leaves fell down
How we spun around
You never let me down.

My one and only Ro.

Love Mary xxxo

So well, let the clowns come on
Dusty in their fancy clothes
Take the time to give to friends
And the orchestra digress.

For love rolls out the barrels
Children gather in the park
The famous climb ladders
And woodpeckers eat grass.

This world is uneven
strutting ancient band
Lost forever in Autumn
Leaves golden brown.

In the arms of Madonna’s
Is the future queen
And what you are is
Not what you get.

Love Mary

A love song .

And if he thought it he did not say
But turned away in quiet despair
As if the air had cooled right down
And only others remained to stay.

Mary

Little baby sweetly sleep,
Gentle in our arms do keep,
Watching every tiny move,
Mummy and Daddy,
Are holding you.
We are waiting for a smile,
Know it will come in a little while.

Two dark eyes look at us,
Giving now all your trust,
We will always honour you,
With a love that is true,
Be there at your side,
Little baby sweetly sleep,
Daddy will make you a fimo sheep.

Love Grandma Mary xxxx

And if he thought it he did not say
But turned away in quiet despair
As if the air had cooled right down
And only others remained to stay.


Love Mary x

You painted my pots when times contained pain
And the *** was a silent ceramic vessel of peace
It contained no words or inscriptions, images just
Light reflected from window panes to a hurt soul.

Love Mary

Prattlebag  and Whistle were two tom cats
One was all stripy the other was all black
They were part of a trio born in late May
The girly sold first with a bright yellow bow.

The two lads were playful the curtains did pull
Dethreaded the settee but habitat have them still
Uprooted the rose bushes with those front paws
Trampled the daffodils so they dance no more.

But when in the evening the clouds come down
And darkness falls in their grassy playground
Through the cat -flap, come quickly, the kitty cats
Placing themselves down to sleep on the mat.

For my grandchildren
Love Grandma **

Forty years felt this land
Green
But how the  carrions caress
Its shores, pollution stains
In all the halls
Where hang the priveledged
Like bats in the light.
Without vision or right.

With cupped hands the meak
Hold out the remains of the
Saint's words, crying why?
And the challis falls until
Failing retribution they, too,
Break hour for the truth
For carelessness is unbearable
Sorrow.

Love Mary x

Finding this place has allowed
My family to know how I feel
To capture memories to read
To tell how much I love each
In a special and particular way.

In doing this I read the words
Written by others for reasons
That they know not quite
And oh how similar we are
Under Van Gogh's Cosmic sky.

Love Mary x

They told me I had to
Those girls from Southfields,
Buy why did I
Crumpled angel that I was
Straight out of Winnie the Pooh
And Start - rite shoes.
Waiting to be had by some lads
In the back bedroom.
"Taking it in turns" they said,
"You next".
I waited it out
Someone took an age
Then we had to leave.
Thank goodness
For early returning
Mothers .

Love Mary

When I was born we still had prefabs,
Just across the road on a patch of land,
Stood four homes like big camper vans,
Windows and a door,
Chimneys too.
People seemed to love them,
A home for a few.

Now most are gone,
Replaced with flats,
Or new houses,
With gardens at the back,
But after the war,
With poor housing stock,
These prefabs were a luxury,
Many glad to have.

Love Mary ***

The birds flew over the ocean
I wish you were here
For my time is thining
And the gate swings near.

The loss of what we knew
Evaporated
In the last golden sunset
I wish you were here.

Love Mary x

Montague and Connie Flu
Got caught up in a racing boom
Found themselves in a field
With coloured banners and an ice cream que;
All the competitors in a line
Wearing fitting clothes , combined.
Connie in her high heeled shoes
Wondered what she could do,
Monty suggested taking them off
Wrapping her feet in an old Jay- cloth
Connie did not like this view
So borrowed a pair of training shoes
From a member of the Boom,
Black and white with silver stars
Matched her top and legging style,
So they ran their fastest best
Over hill and under tree
Won the race without out a phew!


Love Grandma for Monty and Connie .

The hands curled fingers like leaves
Overlapping repeatedly the notes
He and her childhood companions
Speaking spirit to spirit, their souls.

Schubert’s Rondo romantics piano
whispy greyness floats her flowery
Dress, while he payne’s grey suited
In tune with life their hands trusting.

Love Mary ***

Wide lapels and herringbone
Was what my parents wore
A few years following
My brother and I were born,
Married in a registry office
My Aunty and mother in hats
No flowery additions
Their love was that.

In my father's pocket
A folded handkerchief
Mother held a handbag
An umbrella just in case.

I never got to try it on
That grey suit of my mum's
Lived in the few photographs
After they were gone
The bungalow was sold
My brother took the suits
And dispensed of their souls.


In remembrance of my dearest parents.
Love Mary their daughter ***

If on finding me gone
The chair an empty space
Don't send me a rose
It will not replace.
But let those roses grow
With bud and leaf and stem
To flourish in the garden field
To live and laugh again.

Love Mary ***

I don’t  know why I left my coat behind
So though the day be dull and deeply wet
And silver tears caressed the evening song.

Love Mary

He bent now low on folded flanks
With ***** and rake at near side hand
The wrench from earth he pulled as man
Of last years shooting stem to bin.

Love Mary x

Like an upside down monkey
Climbing his frame
Hands attached
To a sleeve as velcro.

What is it that you
Are saying
Is it that baby sister
On the floor playing?

Love, that confused
Emotion breaking
Rules of behaviour
As we try.

Love Mary x

I caught you round the waist
The buckle of your coat in my hand
Blonde curls tasting of the wind
And a love so deep within.

Love Mum ***

"Catch up",I said, "Catch up",
But it was he always trailing
Dragging those new shoes
Though they were sand paper
Until the toes nothing but
Dust.
Then the new top itched
Like a foreign skin
So you punctured it
Stretching and pulling
Until the zip almost
Popped.
What were you brother
So angry and gaged?
You grew up to be
An amazing parent.
Better than I.

I remember the hatefulness
Resting between corridors
Watching as doors opened
Waiting to pounce, suddenly,
On someone with mousey hair
Who was studious and square.

The undercurrents ran like
Tram lines, intersecting,
Infecting others with mockery
The pulling of hair, kick on shin
I feared break with its milk stains
And so many broken bottles.

My good looks saved me the bully
As I was seen as an asset to be used
A symmetrical form unnoticed
As I hurried past the stair wells
Hoping today it would remain quiet
Today, I think of Margaret Atwood .

Where did you come from
No one knows
Arrived in October
Before any snow
Deep brown eyes
A splash of dark hair
Rosy and chubby
We all looked and stared.

Mummy took you home
Wrapped in a shawl,
Tucked you in bed
With the rest of them all.
Now there are nine
To wash and dress
The oldest can do it
That's for the best.

Under the Liliacs your were born
A flower fairy if ever there was
Mum named you Bluebell
To match the rest
Of the flowery names
She loves the best.


Love Grandma xxxxx

This is my end
And I know it
Don’t want
To show it
But saying
Goodbye.

Love Mary **

You know that he is looking
As the train leaves the town
The carriages are closed now
No one moves around
And your face goes down as you feel his gaze
So you drop a sideward glance
In the window pane
The scarf across your neck
Is a deep shade of brown
And it matches your hair
With its red topped crown
But you do not move
Not an eyelash blurs
Just sit in the silence as he stares.

Love Mary x

The shephard never came to me
He left me in the lurch
Half eaten by cannibalism
Scrabbling in the dirt.

The paintwork has slipped
The door frame fallen
And teachings, a betrayal
For love is forsaken.

Love Mary **

I caught you kissing behind the hedge
In the field near the onion bed
Thé river was passing by
And I was much too shy.

So stood and watched with eyes bright
While woodpecker spread his yellow head
And the ground softened at your touch
My hair fell flaxen over the feather steps.

Love Mary xxxx

In the quiet of the evening she plays to him
As the light slips into mellowness
Creating that peace before dark
He loves to listen as she rocks him
Wraping him in the beauty of her world.

Her fingers take up this time of day
Filling the room with lost emotions
Embracing, as she does, his tempo
This union of friendship which is theirs
Held together by bars of notes in a room.


Love Mary ***

Pushing through the bushes
Four small heads
Tasting the rainwater
Dripping down their face
Step into a meadow
Filled with hay and grass
Long legged poppies
And tall buttercups
Flies in the air
Misty, cobweb trace
Come into the bright light
From this covered place;
Glistening in the sunshine
An arc across the sky
So gloriously brilliant
A rainbow for our eyes.
Standing together
In reverance for this sight
Only seen occasionally
When the weather's right.


Love Mary xxxx

Taking the green walk.

Which ever way you approach
This tunnel of green,
Whether from Yarmouth
And the incoming ferry,
Or nearer the Totland end
The experience was much the same.

Underfoot a mossy path,
Dampened by overhanging trees,
Deep puddles to navigate
And the stinging of nettles
In the bracken filled undergrowth;
Adjacent fields where bulls
Occasionally got out of hand,
Charging sporadically and scaring
The birds.

This route was both our outward
And homewards journey,
Taken on family picnics
To Fort Victoria,
A viaduct of small arcades,
With photographs
Of seafaring men lining walls,
And a cafeteria,
Selling limited produce.

Trips to Yarmouth to shop,
Collecting momentoes
And sticks of peppermint rock,
Allowed for the green walk,
Back to the coziness of a chalet.
We use to sing as we walked
The three miles or so,
I looking for blackberries
To take home for tea.

The only difference of route,
Was that of expectation,
The early day high spirits,
Fresh from sleep,
Looking forward to sandwiches
And perhaps an ice cream.
Returning was more arduous,
Tired feet and lagging behind,
The green road seemed longer,
And the holiday
Another day shorter.

Love Mary **

Oh Mr Spaceman, it seems a long way off,
Since you landed, carefully, on a lunar spot;
Standing at the station gazing at the stars,
On our way to Walthamstow to spend happy hours;
I recall that day, vividly, holding Roger's hand,
Thinking how wondrous,
And lucky I am.

Love Mary **

That edge of the sea feeling
Barefoot where the sand slops heavy
And popping seaweed drapes knots
Slimey, slippery ribbons drifting
Along with our feet.
Stubbed toes bruise on rocks
And that sudden extra wave
Surprises, chasing knees
And thighs with bubbles.
Sun splinters through spray drops
Brown to golden streaks
Collect in our hair and eyebrows
As the evening slips
Into still waters
And we return home .

Love Mary ***

Harriet and Hastings and two red robins
Arrived  one morning, unexpectedly,
In an Amazon cardboard box;
Tapping and pecking and scratching
They got out from all that cardboard
With a hop, skip and a jump.

It had been decided, by others, that
Their home would be near a lovely
Old Flowing Plum tree
Nestled between pink Cranesbill
And a variegated **** with mauve,
Candle flowers, in Summer.

Now in this garden lots of other folks
Lived sharing a small plot of land
Filled with shrubs and evergreens
Which included two Camellias, one red,
And one white, a climbing clematis,
******* with string, and Winter aconites.

Hustling for their patch was Danny duckling,
Samantha snail, Flippity frog, Tweeny owls,
Penelope pigeon, Woolly sheep and a few others
Often hibernating, sporadically, or out for the day.
So the new comers slowly got to know all
The inhabitants of 16 The Gardens, Watford.


Love Mary xxxxx

In a hot room overlooking the football ground
I felt the pains filling my brain in reams
The sky held to blue all day and the sheets white
Then I pushed to see and someone ran the corridor.

The silver lift doors swung open and we separate
As your name I bounced off every wall, I shout,
‘Deliverance without my gentle shepherd, my love’.
You peep through green doors to a daughter born.

Love Mary

Open university  'Civilisations' poster is free on
0300 303 5303

Love Mary x