marieason: Poems

Jan 2018 · 398

marieason Jan 2018

I don’t want to write a poem to tell you
feel
I want you to read my mind and understand what emotions my eyes during sleepless nights convey.
In dreams there is you and I and love defined by eternity.
Hope loses its gleam as I return to my failed reality and an empty bed.
Silence takes over my heart and I hung my head in thought of nostalgic absence of what I pretend to live in.
So you kiss my forehead and I close my eyes once more and fall into peace and imagination.

Jan 2018 · 191

Enough

marieason Jan 2018

Enough

I cannot fathom this feeling of worthlessness.
Two years later and I still don’t understand how I was not good enough.
Is my love not strong enough?
Or my hair not long enough?
Do I not make you laugh enough?
Or do I make you cry too much?
Or do you still love me as I love you but there’s some other reason she has your attention too?
Am I crazy to think that this lady has your heart?
Or am I beginning to realize that our hearts have grown apart?
How can such a short time with her replace the life you had with me?
Is there somehow or someway that I still make you happy?
I can still thank every moment that I remember when you were mine,
But
Instead of asking what I can do to make you change your mind—
I question how to still be in your life,
so as we sit in your moms house two years later Christmas Day, I sit back and watch as you fall in love with your new wife.

Jan 2018 · 129

Hide N Seek

marieason Jan 2018

Hide N Seek

I hid behind the car and you found me there.
I hid behind the desk and chair, you found me there.
I hid underneath the bed and somehow you found me there.
It doesn’t matter where I hide you find me anywhere.

I’m stuck with you.
No matter where I go or what I do.
In no way is that a bad thing,
Just sometimes I want to be alone.
Saying that aloud makes me understand how I much I need you as my home.

I run away to places where I think you cannot see me.
Not that I stop the things I do but because it makes me feel less guilty.

I had my face in shame
For having the audacity to call Your name.
I am sinner and there is no one else to blame.

But please I ask you to forgive me,
Because I know I am so wrong.
I just haven’t figured out who I am
And haven’t been myself in so long.

I’m crying all the time,
Can’t wake up.
Drugs, ***, crime.

I’ve turned in the person who for so long I tried to lose, not find.

Instead I want to find myself in you,
I can’t do this on my own.
I’m crying out to You, Dear God!
Please make my heart Your home.

I feel distant from God because I’m disobeying His word. I want to feel closer to Him again and stop living in sin. I want to be with Him.

Jan 2018 · 138

Monsters Under Your Bed

marieason Jan 2018

Monsters Under Your Bed

The monster underneath the bed comes out again to play.
It pulls your hair and breaks your heartand you don’t like to play this way

It slithers it’s tongue and says it will never hurt you again,
but Foolish girl.
Don’t let him back in.

He’s lied this lie before.
You’ll believe what he says
And have to move on from him once more

And once you think you’ve gotten to a point where you are free,
A place where you can breathe.
You’ll run into his face again and the circle will repeat.

So next time you see a monster hiding underneath your bed
Say goodnight and close your eyes and rest your pretty head.

Jan 2018 · 129

I Broke a Promise to Forever

marieason Jan 2018

I Broke a Promise to Forever

Dear Forever,
I know I promised it would be you and I.
I’ll have to admit now that was a lie.
But Forever, my heart was broken but a guy
That had no clue if he wanted you and I.
Forever, I know this is hard to say,
But I forgave him anyway.
Because I remembered that Tomorrow is a new day
That I don’t want to be without him, okay?
Oh Forever, can I have another chance?
Another kiss, another hug, another dance?
He played with my heart, one step, two steps, a prance.
Forever I know YOU decide our plans.
Forever, I’m sorry that now you’re gone because of a promise I broke
But please know my feelings were not a joke.
Forever, life with you is something I stoked.

Forever, our old memories are what I have spoke.
Forever, our Memory with my tears I soak.

I promised my first love “forever” but after four long years, we are no longer together.

— The End —